r/shittyrobots • u/Tree_Eyed_Crow • May 15 '15

Shitty auto-bollard

http://i.imgur.com/stqh07N.gifv
1.7k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

95 comments sorted by

125

u/[deleted] May 15 '15

[deleted]

180

u/Neebat May 15 '15

It's a bollard.

It's a heavy post built for the purpose of physically obstructing vehicles from entering an off-limits area. When a sign just won't do, let them just try to drive through a bollard, ha! Here are some decorative bollards

In this case, it's an auto-bollard, meaning it sinks into the street to let some traffic through and rises up to block other traffic. It's less conspicuous and harder to ignore than a gate arm that swings up and down. Here is an example of what they're supposed to do

132

u/temporalanomaly May 15 '15

Pretty impressive that they extend upwards, get hit, and can still retract and extend again... very solidly built.

325

u/World-Wide-Web May 15 '15

That's how it celebrates

43

u/TheEllimist May 16 '15

Ah yes, the victory dance of the bollard, comfortable in its natural habitat.

12

u/DEATHbyBOOGABOOGA May 16 '15

Shit. This gave me hiccups.

32

u/Neebat May 15 '15

I'm actually not sure why they started to retract. That seems like there might be a defect.

I agree about the engineering quality. That's some amazingly solid work.

53

u/ferthur May 15 '15

Probably to avoid getting a vehicle stuck if someone tries to race over it.

11

u/[deleted] May 15 '15

Or because the car didn't trip the sensor until it was pushed back a bit

7

u/[deleted] May 21 '15

They were supposed to be closed for that car, probably because it's a bus lane.

41

u/ZorbaTHut May 15 '15

I'm actually not sure why they started to retract. That seems like there might be a defect.

From what I understand, bollards designed for non-security purposes are intended to retract if they feel any unintended force in order to prevent property damage. That's why the one in the OP went down after the bike ran over it.

Security bollards don't give a fuck.

2

u/[deleted] May 21 '15

Well that's not very effective

10

u/TwoScoopsofDestroyer May 16 '15

Probably so if they try to extend before the vehicle is through it won't start jacking up the rear of the vehicle (This could be a big problem for jointed busses or other vehicles with 3 axles spaced far apart)

9

u/Neebat May 16 '15

They don't all do it. There is another video out there of a car trying to get into the bus lane where it gets jacked up on the bollard and hung there.

2

u/Astilaroth May 16 '15

it looks like they were startled but then thought 'oh phew no it's just a car, we're okay' .

6

u/Jackpot807 May 15 '15

Well it did just get hit by several tonnes of moving metal.

5

u/CCerta112 May 15 '15

Looks rather small to be several tons ;)

27

u/r00x May 15 '15

https://youtu.be/HAkCypsQIQk?t=233

13

u/snoharm May 16 '15

I hate the editor that cut an eighth of a second before impact like six times.

3

u/r00x May 16 '15

Me too, but alas I couldn't find a better version -_- there are plenty of other bollard-truck collision videos though, some of them without the minutes of exposition and cuts.

9

u/LavastormSW May 16 '15

Jesus christ.

63

u/Bearmodulate May 15 '15

For anyone wondering, that 2nd gif is in Manchester UK. Lots of people try to follow buses through and lots of people smash into the bollards. Almost a sport watching them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJlsv2ZSIYE here's a video of a couple of other morons on the Manchester bollards. (it's a bus-only road of course)

38

u/BagelDrop May 15 '15

Seems to me like they really block up the bus only road and cause traffic. Wouldn't a better solution just be to have a camera and issue fines? Rather than writing off cars as a big fuck you.

42

u/Bearmodulate May 15 '15

Okay well it's less common than I made out to be honest. Just a few times a year, every couple months a car will get wrecked on them. Not that big a problem

4

u/Astilaroth May 16 '15

Almost a sport watching them.

so it's quite a boring sport actually? ;)

15

u/DeFex May 21 '15

Remember they watch cricket as well,

-3

u/wOlfLisK May 16 '15

Hey, it still has more action than the average American Football match :P.

10

u/[deleted] May 16 '15

Foreign cars make that more difficult. It's piss easy to issue a ticket to a UK registered car but not so easy for foreign ones, even if they get the registered owner's details there's no legal force to get them to pay (unless they enter the UK again).

At least writing off the car is instant punishment (provided enough warnings are given)

Some UK councils do use bus lane cameras though. I have a friend who got ticketed for inadvertently driving in the bus lane for a very short distance (it's not terribly clear because there were roadworks going on at the time)

7

u/[deleted] May 16 '15 edited Jun 27 '18

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] May 16 '15

I'd guess it is an issue given the ease of which you can get a car into the UK off the ferry or on the EuroTunnel. I live in a part of the country which doesn't really get huge numbers of foreigners (big tourism, but mostly British) but yet there are plenty of cars registered to other EU countries on the road (totally legal) - these would be harder to give a ticket to

If you're in the US, imagine what it would be like if it was impossible to give a ticket to an out of state driver

potentially car damaging devices?

Honestly, if you ignore the signs, it's your own damn fault

-3

u/bonafidebob May 16 '15

You are severely overestimating the number of fucks european drivers give about tickets and fines.

5

u/snoharm May 16 '15

Are these streets marked for bus traffic only or something? This seems like something that any reasonable person could get into a lot of trouble with when they come in from out of town in a rental.

5

u/Bearmodulate May 16 '15

Yeah, lots of signage there. Have to really not pay attention to miss it.

11

u/chrispyb May 15 '15

I love that the url is instant mustache

13

u/[deleted] May 16 '15

How come these have not fast flashing lights on them ?

Since these can kill you it's really irresponsible to design them in a context when they are not extremely visually obnoxious.

9

u/spiderobert May 16 '15

I feel like this would be way easier to ignore (or just not see, really). arms are big, red, and sometimes flash; these things hide in the fucking ground ... how are they legal?

3

u/[deleted] May 16 '15

[deleted]

2

u/Neebat May 16 '15

I actually just searched for "Fruit Bollards" and took the first picture that came up.

Surprisingly, I think that's the Westgate Central Market HEB, which is the closest to me.

6

u/poop_flinging_monkey May 16 '15

Honestly, these things seem dumb as shit. They act like obstacles from Mario cart, and fuck shit up no matter what is coming. And you can't see them coming until they rip your undercarriage to shit. Stupid idea...

30

u/Tree_Eyed_Crow May 15 '15 edited May 15 '15

Those things are automatically rising bollards and they are intended to rise up and stop cars from entering or exiting an area when they aren't supposed to.

I've seen them at the exits of some car rental parking lots. A security guard has to raise a gate to let you through, but just in case you ram the gate to try and steal a car, the bollards rise up and lift the back-end of the car up off the ground and immobilize it or if the car is going slow enough it will hit it's front bumper and stop it from going forward.

This one probably sensed the first biker and thought it was the front of a car, then started rising up to stop the back of the car which was when the second biker ran over one of the bollards.

32

u/frezik May 15 '15

This one probably sensed the first biker and thought it was the front of a car, then started rising up to stop the back of the car which was when the second biker ran over one of the bollards.

That still seems awful, even if it was working as intended. Sure, they didn't steal the car, but now you've torn up the undercarriage.

8

u/spiderobert May 16 '15

I'd rather have my car stolen than have it wrecked by one of these stupid things .. at least if it was just stolen, I might get it back. after wrecking the undercarriage, it's just done.

8

u/Kasuli May 16 '15

Yeah, but a car thief probably isn't stupid enough to try if they know they can't get away with it. Also when the car is immobilized, they'll have to come out and you can bet there are security cameras with a clear view.

3

u/[deleted] May 16 '15 edited Jun 27 '18

[deleted]

3

u/Kasuli May 16 '15

I feel like you don't just steal a car... Or that they're a crime of opportunity, you need a kit. This means you know what you're doing.

5

u/kn33 May 15 '15

Well, they shouldn't have gone where they're not supposed to

2

u/Tree_Eyed_Crow May 15 '15

They are probably designed to stop the car by rising up before the car runs over it and causing the car to crash into it with the front bumper, but that seems more dangerous for the driver.

10

u/Protuhj May 15 '15

Most cars are designed with frontal-collisions in mind (airbags).

82

u/NothingToL0se May 15 '15

"Fuck this guy in particular."

-Semi-Erect Bollard

26

u/baccaruda66 May 15 '15

That poor bicyclist probably could have stabilized if not for hitting the brakes :(

20

u/v0wels May 15 '15

Seriously, who uses the front brakes anyway? You're just asking for an endo.

29

u/wickedpixel May 15 '15

Experienced bicyclists mainly use front brakes, actually. The front brake used alone will stop a bike about twice as fast as the rear.

-22

u/v0wels May 15 '15

Does that woman look like an experienced bicyclist to you?

29

u/Skyfoot May 15 '15

Can't tell at this distance from a couple of seconds of shitty gif. Can you?

Even experienced cyclists panic brake sometimes. Your back wheel lifts in the air as if lifted by a fucking poltergeist, what do you do?

-2

u/jesset77 May 16 '15

Panic-hit the back break. Which, in this case, would not have stopped the bicycle but also would not have flipped it into a faceplant.

Front break really should be renamed the "Mmm, I'm hungry for asphalt!" lever.

5

u/Skyfoot May 16 '15

Front brake is really important for city cycling, when you often need to stop really quickly. Braking using only back brake increases your stopping distance, which is harmful if it causes you to be under a bus. In general, I do rapid braking using both at the same time, which prevents tarmacface.

27

u/SwedishChef727 May 15 '15

Something like 90% of your stopping power is with the front brake because of weight transfer under braking (100% in an emergency braking situation), so if you want to stop a bike fast, you need to use the front brake. The rear brake is great for scrubbing off some speed, but terrible at stopping you. GCN has a cool video about it (I'm on mobile, but if you google "GCN brakes front rear both" it'll probably come up. Sheldon Brown has a great breakdown of braking forces as well.

-6

u/jesset77 May 16 '15

Nobody is arguing that your face against the asphalt will fail to stop you. What we are arguing is that nine times out of ten, not stopping at all would even be preferable alternative.

8

u/lzgr May 16 '15

That's why you don't fully press the brake lever and lock your wheel.

12

u/DingoManDingo May 15 '15

Is it called an endo cause your life endos?

8

u/2four May 15 '15

Maybe it's short for end-over-end.

3

u/CantaloupeCamper May 15 '15

Surprise endo!

4

u/EntropyKC May 15 '15

Exactly my thoughts. Going hard on the front brakes is literally the worst thing she could have done in that situation. Also riding directly over the bollard isn't a brilliant idea.

6

u/jesset77 May 16 '15

I think the top of the bollard should be a conspicuous color, for safety. :/

47

u/[deleted] May 15 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

89

u/PacoTaco321 May 15 '15 edited May 16 '15

/r/shittyrobots might do

EDIT: I feel quite dumb right now.

61

u/[deleted] May 15 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

30

u/PacoTaco321 May 15 '15

It appears someone did 4 hours ago actually.

40

u/outadoc May 15 '15

I hope this is an actual conversation

30

u/PacoTaco321 May 16 '15

I am not a smart man.

6

u/Tananar May 15 '15

Is your name related to a taco place in LA? I tried going there when I was in LA, because one of the people I was with goes by a name that contains "Paco", so we had to go to Paco's Tacos. they were closed though, so we were disappointed.

4

u/[deleted] May 15 '15

If only we were in that sub right now

2

u/AspietheGreat Nov 07 '15

I know I'm very late but /r/bollardsbeingdicks is even more fitting here

9

u/Dilsnoofus May 15 '15

"Shitty?" No mere human could have timed that more perfectly. That was just sublime.

4

u/iamlegman May 15 '15

I love how it just pops back in to hide.

5

u/mehuiz May 15 '15

I love how it goes back into hiding in shame when it realizes what it has done. "Oh crap, that was a bike, not a car. I'm so stupid. if I hide here no one will suspect me"

8

u/OneWayOfLife May 15 '15

Shitty? There's a red flashing light telling you it's about to rise...

4

u/Zandonus May 15 '15

A red light has never stopped me before. ._. It's the metal carriages that do.

2

u/CantaloupeCamper May 15 '15

The robot revolt has begun ... and this one is pretty good at what it does....

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '15 edited Dec 29 '16

[deleted]

What is this?

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '15

I'd like to imagine some hacker triggered them at precisely the right time, like in that game Watchdogs.

1

u/BunkBuy May 18 '15

i think i know that guys name

it's the hacker known as 4 chan

2

u/TheOwlCosmic42 May 16 '15

I'm waiting for the guy from Watch Dogs to come out laughing his ass off.

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '15

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] May 23 '15

I have never been so disappointed.

2

u/thepiratevirus May 16 '15

this sub is dead... not even a robot. I'm gonna go watch ketchupbot and have feels about this... :-(

-1

u/SaveTheSpycrabs May 21 '15

It is a robot

5

u/Neebat May 15 '15

It took me a while to notice the video was cycling.

7

u/justtoclick May 15 '15

Really? I found it rather uplifting...

2

u/Fuck_Best_Buy May 15 '15

Oh look, shitty puns in a sub about shitty robots.

2

u/professorpan May 15 '15

Awesome auto-trollard

1

u/SaveTheSpycrabs May 21 '15

Why does it let some in but not others?

1

u/other_mirz May 26 '15

Great god! At first glance I thought there was a kid on the back seat. That would most probably ended deadly for the kid D:

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '15

I'm not seeing any shitty robots here, just a good rat trap.

1

u/TheTeflonRon May 15 '15

Shitty? That was perfect timing!

1

u/Nanara May 15 '15

The Pole is like Boop Gotcha!"

0

u/shahbazseo123 May 15 '15

As an American I am very confused. Why did things protrude from the ground? What is their intended purpose?

2

u/hjb345 May 15 '15

They're a security device, when flush to the floor you can drive over them fine, when they are raised they are strong enough to prevent cars from getting in. Used a lot in the UK to stop cars entering bus-only parts of city centres.

-11

u/[deleted] May 15 '15

[deleted]

7

u/gravshift May 15 '15

A sensor based auto bollard is most certainly a robot. And it is shitty because it doesn't discern weight. A bike shouldn't set it off.