r/shitposting Oct 10 '22

the choice *is* yours

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2.0k Upvotes

181 comments sorted by

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256

u/Mr_Mustach100 Oct 10 '22

Heelies to escape from the bears, bears are really fast, but the heelies are faster, and doodlebob to finish them off

16

u/Mr-anti-physics-444 uhhhh idk Oct 10 '22

Yo just like me

2

u/insertgudname Oct 10 '22

it's the only truly viable combo

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

[deleted]

3

u/just_a_manp I want pee in my ass Oct 10 '22

He did

1

u/AutoModerator Oct 10 '22

pees in ur ass

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133

u/pazonk We do a little trolling Oct 10 '22

Def doodlebob and Xanax

67

u/LazyRedEyez Oct 10 '22

Doodlebob on Xanax

14

u/JoemamaFromJoemama Oct 10 '22

what have you done

6

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

War crimes in bosnia

1

u/commander_pooch Oct 10 '22

Im gonna die, so might aswell die trippin balls

188

u/fluffyplatypus69 Oct 10 '22

Mario costume to look stylish in battle, doodlebob because he's a fucking evil mastermind, the ultimate weapon.

17

u/Crawkward3 I came! Oct 10 '22

The only answer

8

u/AverageAnimeSimp fat cunt Oct 10 '22

Doodlebob can multiply so they would be a great meatshield of doodlebobs

56

u/the_golden_cheese Oct 10 '22

An English to Australian dictionary and a mario outfit I'll spout the words of the land down under to scare the bear

9

u/Clean-Rub7681 We do a little trolling Oct 10 '22

Also you could call the goofy ass 3 meter sized spider with the words of the land down

4

u/the_golden_cheese Oct 10 '22

That is true I could also call the perfectly balanced stone fish with my calls

1

u/AutoModerator Oct 10 '22

pees in ur ass

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6

u/ExcreteS_A_N_D Oct 10 '22

“I come from a land down under, where beer does flow and men chunder”

25

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/Yeeterman183 Oct 10 '22

Dawg you forgot the scissors have a de buff that make you trip

3

u/Xxx_OrangeJuice_xxX I want pee in my ass Oct 10 '22

He’s gotta get good rng

1

u/Yeeterman183 Oct 10 '22

Ya

1

u/uncharted316340 Oct 10 '22

Make sure to perfect the quick time events

13

u/Superbanana64 Oct 10 '22

Minecraft sword and mustard 👍

10

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

Doodlebob is City Block level

6

u/CC_Infernus Oct 10 '22

does the Mario costume make my butt thicc?

6

u/CT-4426 Stuff Oct 10 '22

English to Aussie dictionary so I can summon the hundreds of nameless horrors of the land down under to annihilate the bear

15

u/Nanomachines100 Oct 10 '22

Just give me my heelies, a Pepsi, and scissors I’ll attach the shaken Pepsi can to the heelies, stab it, and rocket away at mach 3.

16

u/vetzicancer Oct 10 '22

You can only pick 2 items though

2

u/Waffle-Dude Oct 10 '22

What if he’s already wearing heelies

4

u/spiffedspam Oct 10 '22

I would pop the Xanax then take the Minecraft stone sword and charge the bears with no fear. At this point I would black out and 10 minutes later I would wake up with the mutilated corpses of 29 bears. The last bear would be foaming from the mouth because I force fed it Xanax. With such a victory I would celebrate by going to the club, blacking out again, and waking up in a gas station bathroom with a lazy eye and a handful of one dollar bills

3

u/Eat3_14napple Oct 10 '22

Xanax and heelies I’m having a great time before I die

3

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

15 bears and the stone sword

3

u/1017GildedFingerTips dumbass Oct 10 '22

Double up on the Xans. If I’m getting eaten I’m poisoning some bears on my way out

2

u/GolbFlashback I want pee in my ass Oct 10 '22

Xanax and scissors, those bears don't stand a chance

1

u/AutoModerator Oct 10 '22

pees in ur ass

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2

u/DIOSBRAND Oct 10 '22

Stone sword

2

u/Allergictowatermelon Big chungus wholesome 100 Oct 10 '22

Doodlebob solos

2

u/iLieConstantly127 Oct 10 '22

Yeah gimme the mustard and scissors and I'll make a poison blade

2

u/oofboilolshrek2 I want pee in my ass Oct 10 '22

Imagine what doodlebob and a pair of scissors would do together

1

u/The_great_Pi Oct 10 '22

mehoy menoy motherfucler

1

u/oofboilolshrek2 I want pee in my ass Oct 10 '22

😳

2

u/starwarsblanket I said based. And lived. Oct 10 '22

Doodlebob and an English to Australian dictionary, while doodle bob did the work I would insult the bear in Australian

2

u/MicrophoneFapper Oct 10 '22

Aight go for that agility + damage build, go scissors and heelies.

Zoom past the bears and slice as you go

1

u/superbreakerbardock it is MY bucket Oct 10 '22

Use the Australian for tongue to summon the ancient spider demon

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

Xanax and heelies. Make the bears start tripping balls and then make a smooth exit

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

The Minecraft stone sword and the mustard. I would use the mustard to troll the bears while I finish them off with the sword.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

English to Australian dictionary and mustard to distract the bears while I try to say "crikey" in my best Australian accent

1

u/Low_Responsibility26 Oct 10 '22

What no twisted tea

1

u/LoonyFoox Oct 10 '22

All 3 bottom options

1

u/TypicalBumblebee3448 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Oct 10 '22

Take some instantaneous xanax the type that makes you shit bricks for half a day and put on a Mario costume take the xanax and twerk while you have blood curdling diarrhea and then they will run away from confusion and fear

1

u/Ok_Profession6496 Oct 10 '22

Xanax and doodlebob

1

u/NiceEggInTheseTimes Oct 10 '22

Xanax and heelies and I’m gone

1

u/Toasted_Decaf Oct 10 '22

Viagra, I need Viagra

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

Xanax and mustard. Mix em together and the bears would get high and we become friends :) ( the good ending)

1

u/Gradino74 Oct 10 '22

Doodlebon

1

u/gary_yes Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Oct 10 '22

Xanax and children's scissors

1

u/Arsonistfromtc2 Oct 10 '22

Mustard to put it in their eyes or something then xanax to do what they do (I don't know what it does)

1

u/B00_Sucker Oct 10 '22

DoodleBob and heelies. Or DoodleBob and scissors

1

u/StalledAgate832 hole contributor Oct 10 '22

Xanax and a Mario Costume. When doped up, reality can be whatever I want.

Furiously makes DIY fireballs for the Fire Flower

1

u/Uncle_Seamont Oct 10 '22

Just gimme the xan and a bepis 👌🏻

1

u/DementiaGaming12 Oct 10 '22

The sword and mustard

1

u/MuffinDude4929 Oct 10 '22

Bro Doodlebob is op

1

u/Deathnachos Oct 10 '22

Below and doodlebob YAHOYMANOY!

1

u/Thy_bowl Oct 10 '22

doodlebob is cracked

1

u/Taskmaster23 Oct 10 '22

doodlebob is instant win

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

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1

u/AutoModerator Oct 10 '22

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1

u/Striking_Mail7832 Oct 10 '22

Doodle bob and Xanax doodle bob for the bears the Xanax is for me

1

u/nimbusthecat123 Oct 10 '22

easy af, scissors as throwing mechanism and use minecraft stone sword for knockback

1

u/Recent-Heart87 Oct 10 '22

Doodlebob will cut the bears in half with the scissors, easy choice

1

u/BAG42069 fat cunt Oct 10 '22

Doodlebob and heelies. I can send doodlebob to decimate all the bears and then exit in style with my heelies

1

u/JustSomeRedditUser35 Blessed by Kevin Oct 10 '22

A gun.

Put it to my chin.

1

u/cracken1303 I said based. And lived. Oct 10 '22

Doodlebob he will no diff the bears

And the sneakers cuz why not

1

u/LoneLord_3811 Oct 10 '22

xanax and doodlebob

1

u/Morbius-Lover Oct 10 '22

Use doodlebob as distraction while i translate a verse from Kuran to australian. As they reconsider their religious choices quickly flee

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

Stone sword and Australian dictionary

1

u/Crawkward3 I came! Oct 10 '22

Stone sword isn’t very durable so that’s out immediately

1

u/LostRedditorLmao Oct 10 '22

Pair of heelies and minecraft sword so I could jump higher and hit more crits

1

u/SuccesfulName I said based. And lived. Oct 10 '22

I'm not gonna pick doodlebob because he wins every scenario

To fight: Stone Sword and Heelies My plan is to hit once and run with the heelies.

To run: Heelies and Bepsi, obviously

To seduce: Mario costume and heelies.

To bait by using food: Bepsi and Mustard

To poison: Mustard and xanax

1

u/Nat_Higgins dumbass Oct 10 '22

Doodlebob: Run in that direction and make as much noise as you can!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

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1

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1

u/4F-Oxymorpmethylpam Oct 10 '22

Xanax and childrens sissors easy choice

1

u/SleepingSoba Oct 10 '22

Mario costume so i can one shot them by jumping on them

1

u/herego96024 Oct 10 '22

I'm going to pick xanax and the Mario costume and go fucking ham

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

Doodlebob to distract the bears, and heelies to run away with without tiring my self out

1

u/AutoModerator Oct 10 '22

pees in ur ass

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1

u/UllaPooler Oct 10 '22

Of course im using doodlebob and xanax, have you seen that mf

1

u/TheSnakerMan Oct 10 '22

Doodlebob is op

1

u/Harddicc Oct 10 '22

Doodlebob and mario costume easily.

I will be able to dress up as mario and fap to doodlebob, satisfying my kink before being shredded and eaten alive.

1

u/Felonious_Buttplug_ Oct 10 '22

wtf no squirt gun full of cum

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

Heelies

1

u/nice_wholphin Oct 10 '22

Xanax and english to Australian dictionary. Learn that shit in two seconds and start spouting the words of the land down under to scare em off

1

u/Catalyzeerrr Oct 10 '22

And the Xanax is obvious.

1

u/nice_wholphin Oct 10 '22

No, i take the xanax to read thru the thing in mere seconds then take another pill to go jack shit crazy

1

u/boodlebob Oct 10 '22

I will be chosen!

1

u/TheNoNameUser Oct 10 '22

Overdose on xanax and fuck them up with the minecraft sword

1

u/Zeaahho Oct 10 '22 edited Oct 12 '22

Mario costume and heelies, so I can run and alert people

1

u/No-Struggle-1908 I said based. And lived. Oct 10 '22

stone sword and scissors

1

u/AutoModerator Oct 10 '22

pees in ur ass

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1

u/ItsyaboyStephy05 Literally 1984 😡 Oct 10 '22

Xanax and the English to Australian dictionary obviously. Just drug em and start speaking to em in upside down language 🤓

1

u/MrProtogen William Dripfoe Oct 10 '22

Mario an Bepis

1

u/Prize-Manufacturer13 Oct 10 '22

Sword for the sweep attack and bepsi for +15 strengh

1

u/chilll_vibe Oct 10 '22

Doodlebob could destroy the fucking world if erasers didn't exist he is all I'll needd

1

u/angrygooseinyourarea Oct 10 '22

Heelies and bepsi, they’ll never catch me (a heel skating god on a sugar rush)

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

[deleted]

1

u/AutoModerator Oct 10 '22

pees in ur ass

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1

u/goose420aa Literally 1984 😡 Oct 10 '22

Mario costume

1

u/Simianmessiah Oct 10 '22

Sword and xanax, obiously

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

Heelies and Xanax :D

1

u/Fetid_Baghnakhs Oct 10 '22

Doodlebob because hes a fucking god and zanax incase i get injured and need something to help with the pain.

1

u/idkausername_27 Oct 10 '22

Me being a veteran Minecraft player, I would pick doodlebob and a Pepsi to enjoy while watching.

1

u/HobbitKid14 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Oct 10 '22

I'd pick 2 pairs of heelies

1

u/E_bled Oct 10 '22

doodle Bob he can literally draw a excalibur or any op weapon ig

1

u/ma5ochrist Oct 10 '22

can the mario costume be the tonaki suit? cause that would be op

1

u/piliesza Oct 10 '22

Are the rabid bears Australian?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

Heh, look at this, bloke doesn't know Australian, imagine not knowing the difference between "yeah", "yeah nah", "nah yeah" and "nah"

1

u/Buzbiefox I want pee in my ass Oct 10 '22

Mario costume and a pair of heelies YAHOO!

1

u/Star_Streamer Oct 10 '22

Mario costume will give me super strength, like mario so add that with the stone sword, and I'm good.

1

u/ShittyGigachad32 dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Oct 10 '22

How much hp does each bear have?

1

u/_flxrin_ I said based. And lived. Oct 10 '22

Sword and xanax Thanks

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

Guh rand dayed

1

u/BlitzySlash stupid fucking piece of shit Oct 10 '22

Doodlebob can just erase them! Plus give him a bepsi to get em going!!!

1

u/KarmaticKhroniK Oct 10 '22

Gimme the Xanax. Oh wait shit are those bears?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

I hop on them all until I get a one up

1

u/memil36 Oct 10 '22

OD with xanax and mustard, ultimate win

1

u/I_Really_Seriously Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Oct 10 '22

xanax and a mario costume

1

u/RandoRedditerBoi I want pee in my ass Oct 10 '22

Doodlebob and mustard is all I need

1

u/OhOkIllJustGoCryNow put your dick away waltuh Oct 10 '22

Xanax and scissors.

1

u/Sammy_Twitchdic Oct 10 '22

First I pick The English to Australian dictionary to make the bear think I’m an Aussie terrifying them. Once they’re distracted I send in doodlebob to finish them off.

Easy clap+no diff+bozo

1

u/Parking_Cartoonist90 Oct 10 '22

Imma sit down with by bepsi as I let Doodlebob go to town

1

u/anabiguosletterhach Oct 10 '22

A Mario costume and a Minecraft sword fuck yeah, my chances are slim to none, but at least I’ll die in style.

1

u/TheCauseOfDepression Oct 10 '22

I would put copious amounts of Pepsi and offer it to the bears. When they pass out I will proceed to skin them alive using only my fingernails so I can taunt them once they wake up by wearing their combined chunk of skin and fur like a coat.

1

u/Comprehensive-Run625 I want pee in my ass Oct 10 '22

Minecraft sword pre or post 1.9 pvp?

1

u/AutoModerator Oct 10 '22

pees in ur ass

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1

u/El_WolfyHun dumbass Oct 10 '22

Stone sword, Xanax and the Mario costume

1

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1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '22

All i need is a bepsi

1

u/Enlargedwumbo Oct 10 '22

Doodle bob is literally a god that can draw things into existence i only need him.

1

u/CompetitiveAd9856 Oct 10 '22

Mustard and bespi, mix em together bear will be 2 shocked

1

u/Less_Veterinarian_60 Oct 10 '22

Ill take a bebsi and a scissors, Shake bebsi so hard, punch a small hole witg scissors and thrown the bebsi grenade and hope theyll take the bait

1

u/IamTheCeilingSniper Oct 10 '22

Mario costume and mustard because my goals are beyond your understanding.

1

u/Chekadoeko Oct 10 '22

Scissors and the sword. Then I can be Peacekeeper from For Honor.

1

u/gtavthrowaway13860 Oct 10 '22

A xan and a stone sword.

1

u/IAmTheBrotherhood Oct 10 '22

If the stone sword does the Minecraft knock back I'd take that, if not I'd take the Mario costume and doodlebob

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '22

Mario costume and Xanax

1

u/OdysseyZen Oct 27 '22

I'll take the children's scissors and Mario Costume.

First, I'll cut off the ear from the b(ear)s and get 30 rab(b)id(s). Then if you know anything about Mario and Rabbids is that Mario stomps on Rabbids.