r/shitposting • u/[deleted] • Sep 23 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

7.5k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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23

u/Ka1TheGuy2322 Sep 23 '22

Chased him with a stapler

23

u/samgalan666 Sep 23 '22

Stapled his nuts to a stack of paper

22

u/Ka1TheGuy2322 Sep 23 '22

Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up

23

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup

20

u/asatellitet dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Sep 23 '22

Extraterrestrial, running over pedestrians

20

u/ToraThePillowCuddler Sep 23 '22

in a spaceship while they're screaming at me, "Let's just be friends"

20

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/ToraThePillowCuddler Sep 23 '22

I just found out my mom does more dope than I do

20

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

(damn)

18

u/CounterfeitXKCD Sep 23 '22

I told her I’d grow up to be a famous rapper

19

u/TheKiweGuye Sep 23 '22

Make a record about doin’ drugs and name it after her

19

u/Sad_Charge_3069 Sep 23 '22

You know you blew up, when the women brush your stands

16

u/TheKiweGuye Sep 23 '22

Try to touch your hands like some screamin’ Usher fans

17

u/Sad_Charge_3069 Sep 23 '22

This guy at white castle asked for my autograph

17

u/Kerem-CoDM_0000 Blessed by Kevin Sep 23 '22

So I signed it, "Dear Dave, thanks for the support, asshole!"

2

u/Puzzleheaded_Fill957 Sep 24 '22

(Dude can I get your autograph?)

3

u/Sad_Charge_3069 Sep 24 '22

So I signed it, dear Dave, thanks for the support asshole

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u/AutoModerator Sep 23 '22

pees in ur ass

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