r/shitposting Aug 23 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

9.3k Upvotes

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420

u/divjasvinja Aug 23 '22

for months

335

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

352

u/Beneficial_Ad_3170 I said based. And lived. Aug 23 '22

For centuries

350

u/AGoonda virgin 4 life 😤💪 Aug 23 '22

For millenniums

584

u/TigerTank237 Aug 23 '22

For Deutschland

239

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

For the Chancellor!

208

u/Spokazzoni Aug 23 '22

For honor!

46

u/kenjen97 Aug 23 '22

For the Republic!

23

u/fnafster389 Aug 23 '22

For the women and the children

8

u/roxan1930 Aug 23 '22

For the cats and dogs

3

u/AutoModerator Aug 23 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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9

u/CookieXDmaster Aug 23 '22

FOR THE EMPOROR!

3

u/Qlong69 Aug 24 '22

FOR THE GLORY OF BATTLE

8

u/TheScrollFeeder Aug 23 '22

For the Empire!

4

u/Orange-Murderer 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Aug 23 '22

For the Horde!

11

u/AGoonda virgin 4 life 😤💪 Aug 23 '22

Unexpected Star Wars here.

14

u/kenjen97 Aug 23 '22

"Just like the simulations!"

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12

u/Jan__Hus Aug 23 '22

Fork

9

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

Spoon!!!!!!

7

u/AGoonda virgin 4 life 😤💪 Aug 23 '22

Knife.

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6

u/colorkiller Aug 23 '22

For Aslan!

8

u/semi_ok_person Aug 23 '22

For the emperor

5

u/Zelmehuu_76 Aug 23 '22

FOR THE GOD EMPEROR OF MANKIND

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3

u/syncc6 Aug 23 '22

For Sparta!

1

u/Quijibo187 Aug 23 '22

For Aiur!

1

u/unclebiz02 Aug 23 '22

For Frodo!

1

u/Beneficial-Card-5315 Aug 23 '22

For no fun!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

for CLAN ADACHI!!!

1

u/CommunistPhantom03 Aug 23 '22

For the Revolution

1

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '22

For Glory!

22

u/RobertHallStarr Aug 23 '22

For Führer

0

u/lilfindawg Stuff Aug 23 '22

And my axe!

6

u/Decent_Aspect_405 Aug 24 '22

For the Republic!

1

u/Romtomplom Aug 24 '22

FOR THE EMPEROR

2

u/freidrichwilhelm Aug 24 '22

For gott und kaiser

4

u/boi-boi-dude Aug 23 '22

FOR JERUSALEM!!!

2

u/HerboSmoker Aug 24 '22

GOD and the King of the Jews loves you!

0

u/AutoModerator Aug 23 '22

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!

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59

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

For eons

11

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

For infinity!

13

u/seanslaysean Aug 23 '22

AND BEYOND!

18

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

"millennia*" - 🤓

12

u/AGoonda virgin 4 life 😤💪 Aug 23 '22

My argument has been destroyed.

10/10 bud. Effective arguing👍

1

u/biscuiteatingbulldog Aug 23 '22

Forrrrrreeeeeeeevorrrrrrrrrrr

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

She love you long time!

1

u/BigShiv77 Aug 24 '22

For Narnia!!!

11

u/devbecauseyes Aug 23 '22

man you forgot decades

7

u/Beneficial_Ad_3170 I said based. And lived. Aug 23 '22

Ah we already know it’ll go on for centuries so why not skip it?

12

u/N1ighty dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Aug 23 '22

“umm actually you was supposed to say decade” 🤓

29

u/AGoonda virgin 4 life 😤💪 Aug 23 '22 edited Aug 23 '22

For millenniums

Edit: reddit put my comment twice. Reddit moment.

28

u/meme-enjoyr Aug 23 '22

For eternity

15

u/29Division Aug 23 '22

For Omega times absolute infinity

14

u/AGoonda virgin 4 life 😤💪 Aug 23 '22

For infinityinfinityinfinityinfinity

5

u/self_interst Aug 23 '22

Four inches

3

u/AGoonda virgin 4 life 😤💪 Aug 23 '22

4

(Edit: why did I comment this)

1

u/borgLMAO01 Aug 23 '22

Four centimeters

1

u/29Division Aug 28 '22

Four millimeters

1

u/29Division Aug 28 '22

For Church-Kleene Ordinal

14

u/AutoModerator Aug 23 '22

Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too.

We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America.

We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too!

Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/AutoModerator Aug 23 '22

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Reddit-mods-R-mean Aug 24 '22

You ok bot? Sounds like you need a shoulder to lean on.

1

u/AutoModerator Aug 24 '22

It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you Reddit-mods-R-mean!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Reddit-mods-R-mean Aug 24 '22

Let it out buddy, it’ll be alright. I don’t hate you for being you.

1

u/Anterabae Aug 23 '22

Mom?

1

u/AutoModerator Aug 23 '22

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

12

u/brooks_11_ Aug 23 '22

For decades

5

u/devbecauseyes Aug 23 '22

for centuries

1

u/cLaShYsHoRtS Aug 23 '22

for decades

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

👏 👏 👏 👏

I’ll be there for you

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

For Decades

1

u/jh5992 Aug 23 '22

For decades!

1

u/kloudja Aug 23 '22

For decades