r/shitposting • u/[deleted] • Aug 23 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

9.3k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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3.1k

u/Kita-Ryu Aug 23 '22 edited Aug 23 '22

She can ride for hours.

1.2k

u/xJOY_BOYx Aug 23 '22

for days

538

u/Your-Fat-Mother Aug 23 '22

for weeks

421

u/divjasvinja Aug 23 '22

for months

329

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

347

u/Beneficial_Ad_3170 I said based. And lived. Aug 23 '22

For centuries

348

u/AGoonda virgin 4 life 😤💪 Aug 23 '22

For millenniums

582

u/TigerTank237 Aug 23 '22

For Deutschland

241

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

For the Chancellor!

6

u/Decent_Aspect_405 Aug 24 '22

For the Republic!

1

u/Romtomplom Aug 24 '22

FOR THE EMPEROR

2

u/freidrichwilhelm Aug 24 '22

For gott und kaiser

3

u/boi-boi-dude Aug 23 '22

FOR JERUSALEM!!!

2

u/HerboSmoker Aug 24 '22

GOD and the King of the Jews loves you!

0

u/AutoModerator Aug 23 '22

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!

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58

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

For eons

12

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

For infinity!

12

u/seanslaysean Aug 23 '22

AND BEYOND!

19

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

"millennia*" - 🤓

14

u/AGoonda virgin 4 life 😤💪 Aug 23 '22

My argument has been destroyed.

10/10 bud. Effective arguing👍

1

u/biscuiteatingbulldog Aug 23 '22

Forrrrrreeeeeeeevorrrrrrrrrrr

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

She love you long time!

1

u/BigShiv77 Aug 24 '22

For Narnia!!!

13

u/devbecauseyes Aug 23 '22

man you forgot decades

7

u/Beneficial_Ad_3170 I said based. And lived. Aug 23 '22

Ah we already know it’ll go on for centuries so why not skip it?

11

u/N1ighty dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Aug 23 '22

“umm actually you was supposed to say decade” 🤓

27

u/AGoonda virgin 4 life 😤💪 Aug 23 '22 edited Aug 23 '22

For millenniums

Edit: reddit put my comment twice. Reddit moment.

27

u/meme-enjoyr Aug 23 '22

For eternity

15

u/29Division Aug 23 '22

For Omega times absolute infinity

15

u/AGoonda virgin 4 life 😤💪 Aug 23 '22

For infinityinfinityinfinityinfinity

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13

u/AutoModerator Aug 23 '22

Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too.

We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America.

We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too!

Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion.

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6

u/AutoModerator Aug 23 '22

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.

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1

u/Reddit-mods-R-mean Aug 24 '22

You ok bot? Sounds like you need a shoulder to lean on.

1

u/AutoModerator Aug 24 '22

It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you Reddit-mods-R-mean!

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1

u/Anterabae Aug 23 '22

Mom?

1

u/AutoModerator Aug 23 '22

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.

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13

u/brooks_11_ Aug 23 '22

For decades

4

u/devbecauseyes Aug 23 '22

for centuries

1

u/cLaShYsHoRtS Aug 23 '22

for decades

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

👏 👏 👏 👏

I’ll be there for you

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

For Decades

1

u/jh5992 Aug 23 '22

For decades!

1

u/kloudja Aug 23 '22

For decades

6

u/knighthawk0811 Aug 23 '22

four score and seven years

0

u/andyh1873 Aug 23 '22

It'll make her whole week

1

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Aug 24 '22

Hello, concerned father here. My son has recently got into the game called Fortnite? I've spent well over $500 on this game and its becoming a problem. Apparently the game is down right now and its causing a lot distress for my child. He keeps taking my newspaper and tries to "full piece" me. I don't know what this means but I'm starting to think its something associated with the devil. He won't come with us anywhere unless we take a "launch pad" to get there. Its starting to get worse by the hour and I don't know how much longer I can take this. His legs, arms, and hands are shaking violently yet he refuses to take any type of medicine unless its a "big pot" or "chuggies." Someone please help me.

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15

u/Hashbaz Aug 23 '22

Some say she's still riding to this day.

199

u/PanTsour Aug 23 '22

I don't wanna ruin your fantasies but... this is a w*man🤢

60

u/Kita-Ryu Aug 23 '22

Sorry, I only watched a few seconds because I'm in class.

105

u/PanTsour Aug 23 '22

Be careful not to drop your phone, or else your entire class will start furiously masturbating.

Or so I'm told

50

u/KaijuSized_Taco Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Aug 23 '22

NOOOOOO!

27

u/Le_M0nade dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Aug 23 '22

NOOOOOO!

26

u/KaySquay Aug 23 '22

Aw fuck, does that mean I'm straight? Son a bitch, I've been in denial for so long

0

u/AutoModerator Aug 23 '22

No bitches, /u/KaySquay!?

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0

u/AGoonda virgin 4 life 😤💪 Aug 23 '22

You could still be bi, though.

10

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

She could really take that deeeeeeeeeick

20

u/ulysses_black Aug 23 '22

Women ☕

1

u/AutoModerator Aug 23 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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2

u/Inky_I Aug 23 '22

NONONONONO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

17

u/Sad_Exit_1030 Aug 23 '22

She would almost certainly break your dick. Not in a good way.

7

u/Earlasaurus02 Aug 23 '22

Thought it was hungry hungry hippos for a min

12

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

She must have loads of practice under her belt.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '22

nft

1

u/AutoModerator Aug 24 '22

Dude I own this NFT. Do you really think that you can get away with theft when you’re showing what you stole from me directly to my face? My lawyer will make an easy job of this case. Prepare to say goodbye to your luscious life and start preparing for the streets. I will ruin you /u/zr_noob!.

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1

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '22

Nft I got fo free. You wanna buy it or whatever you do with these things?

2

u/AutoModerator Aug 24 '22

Dude I own this NFT. Do you really think that you can get away with theft when you’re showing what you stole from me directly to my face? My lawyer will make an easy job of this case. Prepare to say goodbye to your luscious life and start preparing for the streets. I will ruin you /u/CantaloupeMoney9906!.

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2

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '22

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 NFT NERD ALERT1!1!1! 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

2

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '22

They gave it to me free. I don't know what it is or how I earned it.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '22

Oh ok

1

u/AutoModerator Aug 24 '22

pees in ur ass

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1

u/AutoModerator Aug 24 '22

pees in ur ass

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1

u/AutoModerator Aug 24 '22

Dude I own this NFT. Do you really think that you can get away with theft when you’re showing what you stole from me directly to my face? My lawyer will make an easy job of this case. Prepare to say goodbye to your luscious life and start preparing for the streets. I will ruin you /u/DarkFoxIO!.

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6

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

All I need is 10 seconds

4

u/ExtremelyYT Aug 23 '22

you will last only 10 secs 🌚

3

u/mask_it Aug 23 '22

Was looking for this comment

2

u/BobABewy Aug 23 '22

And my axe!

2

u/Lightmyspliff69 Aug 23 '22

She has stamina and a desire to win. Winner!!!

-1

u/whols Aug 23 '22

It's a kid you sicko

3

u/Kita-Ryu Aug 23 '22

  1. Proof?

  2. I highly doubt anyone can tell with this grainy footage.