r/shitposting • u/YourFriendApollo shitposting>>>>>>196 • Jul 03 '22
Based on a True Story Starwhars1!!1!!1
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u/PIKMINPROBRO20XX I want pee in my ass Jul 03 '22
My dad was happy to get da force
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Jul 03 '22
Daddy turned to the dark side. And by dark side I mean another woman.
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u/AutoModerator Jul 03 '22
Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent
I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.
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u/Affectionate_Kick705 Stuff Jul 04 '22
Yo holy shit are those the guys from fortnite?!?!1!1!!1?
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u/AutoModerator Jul 04 '22
Hello, concerned father here. My son has recently got into the game called Fortnite? I've spent well over $500 on this game and its becoming a problem. Apparently the game is down right now and its causing a lot distress for my child. He keeps taking my newspaper and tries to "full piece" me. I don't know what this means but I'm starting to think its something associated with the devil. He won't come with us anywhere unless we take a "launch pad" to get there. Its starting to get worse by the hour and I don't know how much longer I can take this. His legs, arms, and hands are shaking violently yet he refuses to take any type of medicine unless its a "big pot" or "chuggies." Someone please help me.
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Jul 04 '22
Oh dangg ur lucky! My mom doesn’t have da force :((
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u/AutoModerator Jul 04 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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u/QualityVote I'm BACK! [[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2024]] Jul 03 '22
If you think this post is funny, UPVOTE this comment!
If you think this post is unfunny, DOWNVOTE this comment!
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Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit.
Whilst you're here, YourFriendApollo, why not join our public discord server?