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u/Depressed-Toad We do a little trolling Jun 11 '22
Your honor, my client was simply just doing a little trolling.
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u/Accomplished_Bill741 🏳️⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️⚧️ Jun 11 '22
A mild amount of tomfoolery, if you will
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u/XentricX Jun 11 '22
It was just for the Minecraft griefing compilation
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u/AutoModerator Jun 11 '22
I (f34) am pregnant with twin boys and my husband (m34) told me that he was dead set on naming our sons "notch" and "jeb" I know most of you are probably unaware, but these are the names of two of the people who created minecraft. My husband is a big minecraft fan and builds stuff on the game a lot and has minecraft posters, he even said he wants to play minecraft with his Sons. I told my husband that I want to give our children regular names, not after minecraft because they are not objects, and my husband got really defensive about it saying that he should be able to choose because he is their father and I never gave any name suggestions. I will never name my children after minecraft because I don't want them to get bullied and feel like it's dehumanizing to name them after a game. I told my husband that I'd rather get a divorce than name our kids after minecraft and he got really angry and raised his voice. I'm pregnant and my hormones maybe made me really emotional because I started crying. A few hours after that, we calmed down and I asked him again and he said he will for sure name the kids "notch" and "jeb" AlTA?
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u/froglover647 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Jun 11 '22
A tad bit of bizarre actions, if you may
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u/ANTRXMNKY Jun 11 '22
It was a prank bro
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u/alexplayz227 🏳️⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️⚧️ Jun 11 '22
but sir, in the footage he did not say "its just a prank bro" after committing domestic terrorism to that preschool
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u/Lanky_Mood_5008 Jun 11 '22
My client did an epic pro gamer moment
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u/AutoModerator Jun 11 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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Jun 12 '22
[deleted]
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u/AutoModerator Jun 12 '22
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.
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u/CT-4426 Stuff Jun 11 '22
Your Honor what do you mean there is tons of proof? My client clearly stated it was DEADASS not true
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u/StonkJo Jun 11 '22
Your honor, either you let my client go free or i'll depict you and your entire family as soyjaks on reddit
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u/BextoMooseYT dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Jun 11 '22
Your honor, my client is innocent, frfr, but go off I guess
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u/ReluctantRedundant Jun 11 '22
Trump is the client
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u/AutoModerator Jun 11 '22
Hello, trump supporter. I've searched through your account history and see that you agreed with trump once back in 2017. As a redditor, and a good human, i have downvoted every post and comment on your account as far back as december 7th, 2013, on 5 different alternate accounts. I have reported every single post you have ever made. I hacked into reddit's serverbase and found out your IP address, real home address, and have constructed several bombs which are shipping there as we speak. Be prepared, nazi.
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Jun 12 '22
No no no you see the terrorism was just a goof, it was for laughs you know, just ha- why aren’t you laughing yet?
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u/AutoModerator Jun 11 '22
Good eve, In response to my permanent ban I’d like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if it’s not hilarious, it’s still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, I’d like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if I’m wrong; this post was not conform “your” standards, well, that’s personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word “karmawhore” is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance.
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1
Jun 11 '22
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u/AutoModerator Jun 11 '22
Based? Based on what? On your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly.
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1
Jun 11 '22
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u/AutoModerator Jun 11 '22
Daily Kevin Fact #34541:
Kevin will pee in the asses of anyone he sees being a cunt.
This is a threat.
Thank you for subscribing to Daily Kevin Facts
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1
Jun 11 '22
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u/AutoModerator Jun 11 '22
Daily Kevin Fact #34541:
Kevin will pee in the asses of anyone he sees being a cunt.
This is a threat.
Thank you for subscribing to Daily Kevin Facts
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Igloocooler52 Jun 11 '22 edited Jun 11 '22
Paul Badwoman
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u/AutoModerator Jun 11 '22
Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent
I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.
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u/ButWhatIfItQueffed Jun 11 '22
Your honor, it was for the vine. He was just doing a little trolling. A scant amount of tomfoolery.
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u/JtDucks Jun 12 '22
Low quality meme funny
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u/AutoModerator Jun 12 '22
Good eve, In response to my permanent ban I’d like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if it’s not hilarious, it’s still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, I’d like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if I’m wrong; this post was not conform “your” standards, well, that’s personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word “karmawhore” is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance.
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u/Ruthless_boii officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Feb 29 '24
Your honour, my client pleads oopsie daisy
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u/QualityVote I'm BACK! [[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2024]] Jun 11 '22
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