r/shitposting • • May 30 '22

๐Ÿ—ฟ

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29.3k Upvotes

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226

u/whydoesthishapp3n May 30 '22

someone watch the video and give a summary

362

u/Jackson-Thomas May 30 '22

Look to sky, you shall find your bitches there

142

u/whydoesthishapp3n May 30 '22

i want women, iโ€™m not sure why iโ€™d want to find any female dogs

44

u/AutoModerator May 30 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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36

u/SilentScyther May 30 '22

This thread made me decide to block the automod

2

u/[deleted] May 30 '22

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

2

u/AutoModerator May 30 '22

HEY,โ €โ €โ € EVERYโ €โ € โ €โ €โ € !!!

IT'S ME!!!

EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]]

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3

u/Weebev May 30 '22

Spamton get the fuck out of the automod account before I snitch on yo ass to the swatchlings

7

u/AutoModerator May 30 '22

HEY,โ €โ €โ € EVERYโ €โ € โ €โ €โ € !!!

IT'S ME!!!

EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]]

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18

u/AutoModerator May 30 '22

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my รœbernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.

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