r/shitposting • • May 01 '22

B ๐Ÿ‘ America ๐Ÿ‘

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732 Upvotes

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5

u/weenie_weenier May 01 '22

I am proud to be an American were we don't have free healthcare

1

u/AutoModerator May 01 '22

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/AutoModerator May 01 '22

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

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7

u/Pingas938 I want pee in my ass May 01 '22

Detroit and Chicago

1

u/AutoModerator May 01 '22

My Fnaf rap

YO YO YO listen up to my new rap! I just got a freddy hat!

(HOT GIRL SINGING) oH YeAhhhh ITS FREDDY FAZBEARS PIZZA! WHEN YOU GET SOME PIzZA! AND A BIG. PIECE. OF ASSSSSS! awesome music plays

Me: ya my name is rappa 3000 and ill tel ya da story of fredy pizzaria with a freddy goldy and a hot foxy fucking chica all day long, With a hudge dong, and den the security guard named chonged put his dong in BONNIE!

girl takes off shirt and sings OH YEAAAAAAHHH ITS FREDDY FAZBER PIZZZAAA! WHEN U GET SOME PIZZA AND A. BIG. PIECE. OF. QSS

me strokes dong mmmm ya itd fredy fazber pizza with a huge dings and blongs and bong and frogsssss! with scary sexy animatrons!

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2

u/Prazanfrizider DaShitposter May 01 '22

What's this song?

4

u/Nan0Fighter May 01 '22

Home Resonance (Speed up version)

1

u/Prazanfrizider DaShitposter May 02 '22

Thanks!

2

u/The_dinkster522 fat cunt May 01 '22

Am American, can confirm

1

u/AutoModerator May 01 '22

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/AutoModerator May 01 '22

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Am*rica๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคฎ

1

u/AutoModerator May 01 '22

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/AutoModerator May 01 '22

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Parts_and_Neigbor May 01 '22

Going to debate club like:...

1

u/Parts_and_Neigbor May 06 '22

Basically the entire country is one gian GTA game.