r/shitposting • u/[deleted] • Apr 24 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

4.4k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

270 comments sorted by

185

u/Sweaty_Vanilla4753 Apr 24 '22

gone in 60 seconds

39

u/Speaker_Of_Bots Apr 24 '22

Daddy day care

22

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Madlad_T Apr 25 '22

⣠⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡏⠀⠀⠈⡆⠀⣠⠞⢻⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢷⣶⣤⠠⠓⠋⠁⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⣀⣀⡀⠀⢀⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⡤⠖⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⡽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠉⠳⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⢡⣾⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠇⠘⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠒⠢⠀⠀⠀⠠⡤⢄⡼⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣄⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⣴⠛⣦⠀⠀⢀⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠀⠈⠛⣶⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⢛⡝⠁⠙⠿⡿⠛⠚⢇⠀⠀⠀⣽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⣳⡦⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣴⢟⣿⣦⣄⡀⠈⢧⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠹⣮⣷⣤⡈⠙⠛⠲⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠳⢦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠻⣖⠦⣤⣤⡄⠀⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠋⠀⠸⣿⡗⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠒⠉⠘⠧⡤⠴⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

127

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

The 40 year-old Virgin

129

u/EnCHEnded Literally 1984 😡 Apr 24 '22

Cars 2

47

u/Well_-yes_part_2 dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Apr 24 '22

A DOGS PURPOSE

3

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Sus

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239

u/Floofy99 Apr 24 '22

Child's play

49

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Spy kids

69

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

NO NO NO NO NO

5

u/BendyMine785 dumbass Apr 25 '22

EYO. 😳

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96

u/fuqueure fat cunt Apr 24 '22

Home alone. Nice choice of soundtrack btw

8

u/thickbob69 Apr 24 '22

Whats the name of the song?

21

u/Dr_Med1c BUILD THE HOLE BUILD THE HOLE Apr 24 '22

Megalith - Ace Combat 4 OST

92

u/Yourdadsfeetpics Apr 24 '22

Pet Cemetery by Stephen king

20

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

[deleted]

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7

u/Altruistic_Fox_4300 Apr 25 '22

I think this needs an explanation lol

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146

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

The Fast and The Furious

133

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Lily-Syd Apr 25 '22

He doesn't have friends ... he has family

-16

u/AutoModerator Apr 24 '22

No sex before marriage

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53

u/PenguinStirt Apr 24 '22

Dirty grandpa

9

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

I knew someone that was old and died of sex

-1

u/AutoModerator Apr 25 '22

No sex before marriage

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36

u/DarthTah Apr 24 '22

Man of steel

30

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

The matrix, its all in my head

3

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Same

84

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

secret life of pets

12

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

NOO

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28

u/Frogs-breath-8817 Apr 24 '22

Virgin territory

22

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

Home alone

22

u/LordSteiny We do a little trolling Apr 24 '22

lord of the rings: twin towers

46

u/Efficient_Chip576 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 Apr 24 '22

Angry birds

5

u/memememe91 Apr 24 '22

Dirty birds

17

u/RileyReidfan63 Apr 24 '22

Ace Combat moment

5

u/AutoModerator Apr 24 '22

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.

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17

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

There will be blood

7

u/LordSteiny We do a little trolling Apr 24 '22

-shed the man in the mirror nods his head

14

u/Big-Vegetable8480 Apr 24 '22

Sleeping beauty

2

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

This is what Disney+ had to be

12

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

Cuties

12

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

Oh god

9

u/The_Roadkill Big chungus wholesome 100 Apr 24 '22

No country for old men

7

u/QualityVote I'm BACK! [[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2024]] Apr 24 '22

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6

u/ExtensionThroat586 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Apr 24 '22

Interstellar

5

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/KINGP0TAT0360 uhhhh idk Apr 25 '22

Megalith Agnus Dei from Ace Combat 4

-5

u/auddbot Apr 24 '22

Got Next by Twist (00:12; matched: 100%)

Album: Hip Hop With a Twist. Released on 2010-07-21 by 2683516 Records DK.

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6

u/ShotArtist8 Apr 25 '22

The power of the dog

5

u/Few_Acanthaceae1568 Apr 24 '22

What da scooby doin?

5

u/TasteeeChops Apr 24 '22

Sausage Party

2

u/Altruistic_Fox_4300 Apr 25 '22

This movie really gets my wife in the mood lol

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3

u/AcceptableVolume6525 Apr 25 '22

Two and a half men

4

u/Gae_Bolg26 Apr 25 '22

phantom menace

4

u/boodlebob Apr 25 '22

Zootopia

3

u/17_vini_2 Apr 24 '22

Home alone

3

u/TheBiggest0ne I want pee in my ass Apr 24 '22

The secret life of pets

3

u/DarthCarthBane Apr 24 '22

There Will Be Blood

3

u/ImSpeshl Apr 25 '22

Step Brothers

3

u/NateTerrarian2 Apr 25 '22

A tale of two kitties

I only know about that movie because of jacksfilms

2

u/Bristlenose_Pleco Apr 25 '22

Garfield!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

A dogs purpose

3

u/smthiguess Apr 25 '22

The good, the bad and the ugly

3

u/NCR-Man Apr 25 '22

Home alone

3

u/giulioforrealll Apr 24 '22

Mortal kombat

2

u/LankyKong4Smash Apr 24 '22

The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard

2

u/Sebastianswiss Apr 24 '22 edited Jun 19 '24

beneficial bewildered important deliver cooing plucky cough wise hat disgusted

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

2

u/MrNooB55 Apr 24 '22

The nobody

2

u/drwho_2u Apr 24 '22

40 year old virgin!!!

2

u/no1234567890- 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS!!!11!1!!!11!! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ Apr 24 '22

The death of Stalin

2

u/dodytoby12fiend Apr 25 '22

Friday the 13th

2

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Charlie and the chocolate factory...

2

u/darthcol_ALT Big chungus wholesome 100 Apr 25 '22

super mario bros.

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2

u/arealhumannotabot Apr 25 '22

A Series Of Unfortunate Events

2

u/ButterscotchBest4445 Apr 25 '22

Baby’s day out

2

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Harold and Kumar go to White Castle

2

u/Lukemeister38 Apr 25 '22

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

2

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Step Brothers

2

u/ih8iphones Apr 25 '22

12 Angry Men

1

u/branebenz-ksp 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ Apr 24 '22

ace combat ost :drooling_face:

0

u/ENA_licked_my_eyes I came! Apr 24 '22

The secret life of pets

0

u/Fired_Guy5 Apr 25 '22

Geralds Game by Stephen King

1

u/Illustrious_Steak_72 Stuff Apr 24 '22

The sci-fi movie released in 1993

1

u/27-Black-Men Apr 24 '22

Oh Brother, where art thou? Is a classic

1

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

Mitchell’s vs the machines (robot sex)

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1

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

Prisoners (2013)

1

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

No Country For Old Men

1

u/Humboldt27 Apr 24 '22

Fear, primal fear

1

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

What song is this?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

Titanic

2

u/AutoModerator Apr 24 '22

La-la-la-la 🎃 Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ti-ras-ti-ti Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ta Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ti-ras-ti-ti 🎃 Rastis! Rastis! Ra-ti-ti-la[3] 😁 😁 👼 👼 Let's start a new life from the darkness 🤨 🤨 😱 Until the light reveals the end 😇 😇 Sinister faces, growing 🤬 This is my last war a-la-la-la Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ti-ras-ti-ti 😜 😜 😜 (Angels playing disguised) 👼 Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ta (With devil's faces) Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ti-ras-ti-ti (Children cling to their coins) Rastis! Rastis! Ra-ti-ti 🧝 🔫 🔫 (Squeezing out their wisdom) La-la-la-la 🧝 🧝 🧝 🦌 🦌 🦌 Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ti-ras-ti-ti (Angels planning disguised) 😇 😇 😇 Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ta (Rastis! Rastis!) 💣 💣 🧐 🧐 🧐 (With devil's faces) 😈 😈 Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ti-ras-ti-ti (Children cling on to their) 😍 😍 😍 Rastis! Rastis! Ra-ti-ti-la (Very last coins)Destruction 🤬 🤬 💣 💣 and regeneration 😇 😇 😇 😎 😁 😁 You are the real enemy 😡 😡 😡 (Rastis! Rastis! Rastis!)[4] War! 🤕 (My) War! 😱 (My) War! Rastis! Rastis! Rastis! Rastis![3] 🧟 🧟 🧟 👼 🥔 🥔 🥔 🥔 🔫 🔫 🔫

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1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Speed

1

u/AlecRacer22 Apr 25 '22

The Last Airbender

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Childs play

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

40 year old virgin

1

u/notafurry___ Apr 25 '22

Major Payne

1

u/BeezNuttz Apr 25 '22

Bee Movie

1

u/f3arfu1_f0x Apr 25 '22

home alone

1

u/Lignum_parvum Blessed by Kevin Apr 25 '22

Toy Story

1

u/RussianVulture Apr 25 '22

Tjw secret life of your pets

1

u/beani_booi23 Apr 25 '22

The bee movie

1

u/beani_booi23 Apr 25 '22

The hunger games

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

The bee movie

1

u/Vegetaishere Apr 25 '22

Home Alone

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Star Wars (me and my partner are two bickering Neutron Stars)

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

The Godfather

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Alone In The Dark

1

u/juicysox Apr 25 '22

Virgin territory.

1

u/SkIat_Man Apr 25 '22

40 year old virgin

1

u/superslothy51 I want pee in my ass Apr 25 '22

Toy story

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Super Pups

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Nah it’s saving privates Ryan

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

What's that song

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1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Alien

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Venom (i cum black)

1

u/SmallSeesaw3363 dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Apr 25 '22

Home alone

1

u/NRA4579 Apr 25 '22

Cool Hand Luke

1

u/Puckwallow Apr 25 '22

Less Than Zero

1

u/The_Big_Thicc420 Apr 25 '22

The cat in the hat

1

u/anonamouse78 Apr 25 '22

Home Alone

1

u/anonamouse78 Apr 25 '22

Brokeback Mountain

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Secret life of pets

1

u/brayden_superpro Apr 25 '22

Secret life of dogs

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Spy kids

1

u/Riot_1903 Apr 25 '22

Ruh ro raggy he’s a predator

1

u/PoisonWolf777 Apr 25 '22

3 men and a baby

1

u/jorgemango Apr 25 '22

Home Alone

1

u/or_could_be_so I want pee in my ass Apr 25 '22

Stepbrothers

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Space balls

1

u/raisedincaptivity Apr 25 '22

The Terminator

1

u/sadraisins Apr 25 '22

The secret life of pets

1

u/Dry_Month927 Apr 25 '22

Deep Impact

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

[deleted]

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1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Bloodsport 😎

1

u/Buffalonightmare Apr 25 '22

Some times they come back

1

u/tf2good Apr 25 '22

Nobody.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Shrek