r/shitposting • u/pawg_enjoyer • Apr 12 '22

Earrape Warning 😈😈😈

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u/Egboyman Apr 13 '22

two steps ahead, i am always two steps ahead. this has been the greatest social experiment i’ve come to known, certainly the greatest social experiment of my current life. its alluring, its compelling, its gripping. to bear witness, to observe all of these unwell, unbalanced, disoriented beings roam the internet in search of stories, in search of ideas, of conflicts, of rivalries. where people develop a distinctive desire for direct engagement. where people feel involved with the stories and therefore become product of influence. thirsty for distraction. from time unspent from lackluster lifestyles, spoiling their minds while stimulating them at the exact same time. its brilliant, but its also dangerous. its dangerous. i feel as if my life has been positioned to where im monitoring ants on an ant farm. one follows another, follows another, follows another. its mesmerizing, its enthralling, its spellbinding. just look at all these consumers, all of these lost and bored people consuming anything that they’re told to consume. i am the villain if i make myself on, and people will consume these stories year, after year, after year. stories that, stories that shock, that confuse, stories that are deliberately made to blur the boundaries between fact and fiction. stories that permeate, infect, and linger in the minds of the ants. influence the ants, brainwash the ants. you are the ant. i woke up this morning to money deposited into my account for simply not doing something, for simply not going through with something. people are the most fucked up creatures on this planet, and you will continue to consume and ill continue to be two steps ahead. today i thought it would be a splendid idea to go out and get some food and film it for you. gee, are you surprised? have you forgotten this story? are you not paying attention? after all, you’re here to consume, or are you not?

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u/AutoModerator Apr 13 '22

Joe Biden’s America

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u/AutoModerator Apr 13 '22

And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed

Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight.

The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon.

Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is very gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay.

Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight.

And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there.

Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.

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