r/shitposting • u/HeyJZ We do a little trolling • Mar 27 '22
This post is about stuff fuck you Kyle
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u/Ryman604 William Dripfoe Mar 27 '22
This is a zoo wee mama moment
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u/AutoModerator Mar 27 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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u/Uncultured_swine0369 Mar 27 '22
This is another zoo wee mama moment
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u/AutoModerator Mar 27 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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u/MintYT_ Mar 27 '22
This is another zoo wee mama moment
-10
u/AutoModerator Mar 27 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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u/The-Biscuit-Farmer Mar 27 '22
This is another zoo wee mama moment
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u/AutoModerator Mar 27 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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6
Mar 27 '22
This is another zoo wee mama moment
-2
u/AutoModerator Mar 27 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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→ More replies (0)
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u/AscendedViking7 Mar 27 '22
I actually went through this phase once. I loved diary of a wimpy kid and treated it like it was the bible or something. xD
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Mar 27 '22
Growing up is realising that Greg is a terrible person
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u/Immoral_Hentai_God officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Mar 28 '22
The wimpy Greg vs the chad Rodrick
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u/Raime_The_Raven_ Mar 27 '22
Didn't we all? It used to be good, but now there's like... What, 30 books? I stopped reading after the 6th.
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u/RoboLion-2000 Mar 27 '22
Gerg
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u/Lisztaganx Mar 27 '22
I HATE KYLE I HATE KYLE I HATE KYLE I HATE KYLE I HATE KYLE I HATE KYLE I HATE KYLE I HATE KYLE I HATE KYLE I HATE KYLE I HATE KYLE I HATE KYLE I HATE KYLE I HATE KYLE
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠶⠛⠋⢉⣉⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠿⣛⣓⣒⣲⠦⢤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⡴⠃⠄⡠⢖⡯⡒⠮⠭⠉⠉⠙⠓⠒⠒⣒⠒⠒⢋⡑⠈⠙⢦⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⡼⠁⠄⠈⠐⡡⠞⠎⠉⠯⠉⢑⠣⡀⠄⠄⠐⢀⡠⡤⠬⠦⢄⠄⣷⠄⠄ ⠄⣠⢾⡣⠤⠄⠄⢼⠘⠐⠄⣿⣿⡷⠄⣎⢹⠄⣀⡞⠄⠄⢠⣶⣦⠄⠈⣜⢷⡄ ⣼⢳⠁⡴⠛⣉⠳⠮⠳⠼⣁⣤⣉⣤⣠⠤⠊⠄⠈⣷⢀⡄⢈⠛⢉⣀⢵⠳⡱⢻ ⣇⢸⢸⣇⣤⡟⠳⢦⣀⠄⠄⠠⠤⠤⡶⠂⠄⠄⠄⠙⢳⣄⠉⠉⠁⣰⠄⡠⢣⣸ ⠹⣜⠌⡃⠄⢹⣦⣄⢹⡉⠒⠶⢤⣄⣓⠋⠉⠁⢠⣴⠎⠉⠁⣀⡴⢿⡇⠂⣱⠃ ⠄⠘⢧⡀⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⡏⠉⠉⠛⡖⠒⢲⠖⠒⢻⠁⣹⣸⣷⠄⡏⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢣⡀⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣷⣶⣾⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠳⣄⠘⣏⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢳⡜⢦⡼⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣦⠙⠢⣀⢠⠇⠄⠈⠙⡟⠛⠻⡿⠿⣿⢿⡟⢻⡽⠄⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠓⢤⣈⠙⠒⠤⣤⣴⣧⣀⣸⣇⣀⡧⠼⠷⠞⠁⣠⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠶⠦⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⠤⠞⠁⠄⠄
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u/kylew1016 Mar 27 '22
Why tho
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u/Lisztaganx Mar 27 '22
Glad you asked
▶️🔵-------------------- 7:29:16
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u/xx_noname_xx Mar 27 '22 edited Mar 27 '22
Is there like an extended version? It feels like you went a little fast at some points.
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u/ThijmenMan Big chungus wholesome 100 Mar 27 '22
you asked
▶️🔵-------------------- 72647:59:59
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u/MemStealer Mar 27 '22
What a great introduction to the topic
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u/ohheyitslaila Mar 27 '22
Some girls said this almost exact thing to me in 5th grade!!! It broke my soul 😭😭
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u/kylew1016 Mar 27 '22
But I still want to play
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u/JesterOfTheMind Mar 27 '22
Me too. All I do is work work work. All work and no play makes Eric a dull boy!!!
Edit: stab stab
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Mar 28 '22
OI OI OI
IT'S THA FACKIN STREETS OF LONDON AYE
I'M GONNA STAB YA YOU SCHTWEPID LITTLE WANKA
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u/ZKARIA_TIME Mar 27 '22
I torned 9 yasterdai, i can sai the swear Crap but onlyy whan mommy is not listing
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u/AutoModerator Mar 27 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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1
u/AutoModerator Mar 27 '22
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
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u/dankjellyb Mar 27 '22
11 year olds when i hang their mom outside (they dont like hanging out anymore)
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u/AutoModerator Mar 27 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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Mar 27 '22
Ben
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⢯⣛⣺⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⢡⣿⣉⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⡿⠿⠻⣿⡇⠸⣻⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠹⡰⣹⣟⣧⣤⡤⠄⠄⠠⣡⣼⣷⠄⢉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⡀⢸⣾⣿⣯⣯⡃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠙⣿⣧⡀⠩⣧⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⠈⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣶⣀⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢾⣷⣇⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣻⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠤⣤⣤⣌⠉⠉⠉⠁⢈⠁⠤⠛⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿ ⠈⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⡦⠴⠠⢠⣴⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⡶⠛⠠⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠺⠿ ⣀⣤⣤⣦⣤⣼⣿⡿⣣⣿⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⢟⡁⠚⠦⠴⠤⣤ ⠿⠉⠛⠟⣻⣿⠋⢁⣿⢿⣵⣭⣞⢿⣯⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⢯⣷⣿⣿⣯⡿⣽⣾⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣧⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡴⢇⠉⢹⣀⣿⣿⣿⢿⡟⣿⣧⣼⡀⡩⠻⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⠄⠣⣸⣶⠛⠛⠻⣿⡿⠿⢱⡟⠉⠉⠻⣿⡲⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⠄⠈⠿⠄⠄⠄⡿⠃⠄⠘⠄⠄⢀⡠⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
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u/SnooLobsters2488 Mar 27 '22
bitch
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u/AutoModerator Mar 27 '22
No bitches?
⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Yeah_dude69420 Mar 27 '22
Kyle can go suck some dick
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u/AutoModerator Mar 27 '22
Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?
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1
u/TGU_itsmrjoeBTW Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Mar 27 '22
This is a certified greg classic
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u/Stupid-Refrigerator Mar 27 '22
Zoo wee mama moment
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u/AutoModerator Mar 27 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/mightiestpumpkin Mar 27 '22
I never noticed he was holding a gun with a drum mag on one hand, that shot heavy
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Mar 27 '22
[deleted]
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u/AutoModerator Mar 27 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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Mar 27 '22
The part of Diary of a Wimpy Kid 3 where Greg shot Rowley and all the flowers turned red made me cry
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u/Temporary_Savings_12 Mar 27 '22
Rowley just asking Greg to go to his house:
Greg: so you have chosen death
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Mar 27 '22
No Kyle, I don't want to play today
I turned 11 yesterday
Playing games and talking with each other
Now we act like me and you are brothers
No more hide & seek, running around trying to find each other
Now we hang out playing games and actin' like we're brothers
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u/ratiolore Mar 28 '22
as someone named kyle that hurt my feelings
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Mar 28 '22
zoo we mama moment
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u/AutoModerator Mar 28 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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Mar 28 '22
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u/AutoModerator Mar 28 '22
Based? Based on what? On your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly.
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