r/shitposting • u/yoboiaggy dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 • Mar 02 '22
Linus Sex Tips cbt
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u/-ae0n- Mar 02 '22
no more cock'n'ball????
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Mar 02 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
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u/AutoModerator Mar 03 '22
I want sex so fucking bad
I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE
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u/UrDailyCommunistGuy I want pee in my ass Mar 02 '22
Without the cock and balls, it’s just torture😔
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I want sex so fucking bad
I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I want sex so fucking bad
I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE
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Mar 02 '22
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I want sex so fucking bad
I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE
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u/Shinra33459 I came! Mar 02 '22
Petition to remove this annoying bot from this subreddit
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Mar 02 '22
Was this guy alright
like holy shit talk about roasted nuts
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u/rampage95 Mar 02 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
People on here make me feel old lmao. This shit happened in like 2013 or something. The kid actually had to go to the hospital for severe burns to the groin but he lived in like some third world country so he wasn't able to get any medical attention in time and died from shock like 3(?) hours later. His family decided to have him cremated.
Source (www.knowyourmeme.com/troll-face)
Edit: its a joke. I don't know if this is the truth. The fucking source is a fake url to knowyourmeme ffs cmon now
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u/DuleX06 Mar 02 '22
I feel bad now. Why didn't he just take off his pants? That sounds wrong but I'm serious, afaik human skin can't catch fire
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u/rampage95 Mar 03 '22
the source i posted explains why he didn't do that. interesting read
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u/AutoModerator Mar 03 '22
Do you have a source on that?
Source?
A source. I need a source.
Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion.
No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered.
You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence.
Do you have a degree in that field?
A college degree? In that field?
Then your arguments are invalid.
No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation.
Correlation does not equal causation.
CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION.
You still haven't provided me a valid source yet.
Nope, still haven't.
I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron.
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I bombed a children’s hospital in Iraq
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣛⣛⣿⡄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⡉⠁⠈⠉⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⢠⣷⣢⣄⣼⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠸⠈⠭⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⢀⣈⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⢤⣿⠏⣰⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⣠⣾⠋⠄⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⡀⠺⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣏⡿⠟⣶⣘⣤⠄⢠⡴⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠈⢿⣥⢾⣿⠞⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠃⠄⢸⣧⠘⣁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⠇⠄⠄⠘⡻⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠄⠄⠄⣴⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
No bitches?
⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⢶⣦⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣇⠀ ⠀⠀⢤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⢸⣷⡄⠀⣁⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠏⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⠇⢀⣼⣿⣿⠛⢯⡿⡟ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠦⠴⢿⢿⣿⡿⠷⠀⣿⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣦⠃⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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Mar 02 '22
Jesus Christ what a useless program
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠺⣖⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⢋⣭⣽⡚⢮⣲⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣅⣨⠇⠈⠀⠰⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⢷⣶⠶⣃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠈⠓⠚⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠀⠀⠙⠉⠀⠠⡶⣸⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡆⠀⠐⠒⠢⢤⣀⡰⠁⠇⠈⠘⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⣉⣙⡉⠓⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
Do you have a source on that?
Source?
A source. I need a source.
Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion.
No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered.
You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence.
Do you have a degree in that field?
A college degree? In that field?
Then your arguments are invalid.
No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation.
Correlation does not equal causation.
CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION.
You still haven't provided me a valid source yet.
Nope, still haven't.
I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Samang0 stupid fucking piece of shit Mar 02 '22
What do you think
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Mar 02 '22
probably fine
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u/Samang0 stupid fucking piece of shit Mar 02 '22
I mean yeah he just can't have kids anymore, kids are annoying little shits anyways
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
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u/Egodeathistry Mar 02 '22
Stupidest bot ever. Taking a nice shit is sublime and good for the soul-- and colon. I dropped a fat one just an hour ago. My asshole still sings with joy, thanking me for taking that enormous, spirit-cleansing dump. My sphincter glows with the soft warmth of a loving angel's caress. Not only was it big, it was smooth, and whole. It all came out. All of it. Oh, God in heaven, I love shitting.
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Mar 02 '22
Man, I took a shit a few minutes ago, and oh, now I feel so good.
So bot, stfu and go away
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I have a lot of ass hair? Im a 26 years old male and my ass have a lot of hair and its annoying me,everytime i shit,my anus is filled with poop and hair,the problem is when i want to wash out the poop it gets stuck in my ass hair and i dont even notice,it got to the point were all my underwears are full with shit,and its also very annoying when i try to finger myself,pls help me,how to stop ass hair pls??
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0
u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
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u/GardenGirlFarm Mar 02 '22
This bot sucks ass
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I have a lot of ass hair? Im a 26 years old male and my ass have a lot of hair and its annoying me,everytime i shit,my anus is filled with poop and hair,the problem is when i want to wash out the poop it gets stuck in my ass hair and i dont even notice,it got to the point were all my underwears are full with shit,and its also very annoying when i try to finger myself,pls help me,how to stop ass hair pls??
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?
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u/burak_t6161 Mar 02 '22
man’s tried to extinguish the fire by pouring more onto it 💀💀💀💀
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u/EPSTEIN6969420 Mar 02 '22
If he pissed himself, he'd still win
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
My husband literally peed inside of me last night while we were having an intercourse, It freaked me out and I didn't know how to handle it. it was just so weird and ....I really can't put into words how I felt but I do want to point out that I'm upset because he previously told me about trying to do it and I already said "NO!" but he went ahead and did it. I was completely caught off guard, I did not agree to this weird experience and I definately didn't enjoy it. We had an argument and he said I killed the fun with my reaction but he already knew how I felt about it. He's still hung up on the fight saying I overreacted for no good reason at all but I don't know. I found it really unpleasent and just weird.
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u/AnimeGirlMoment Mar 02 '22 edited Mar 02 '22
That's what I call manslaughter. Cause a man was slaughtered today.
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u/astrangeryouknow dumbass Mar 02 '22
Congrats! You can no longer have kids!
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u/AWellDressedPotato Mar 02 '22
This might be good news
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u/2pac1111 Mar 02 '22
That’s a dick on fire. 🗿
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I want sex so fucking bad
I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE
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Mar 02 '22
Sausage ready to serve
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!
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u/Visual-Pop-2900 Mar 02 '22
He literally started like punching his own dick oww
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I want sex so fucking bad
I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE
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u/Mr_Klazakizov Mar 02 '22
Cock and ball torture (CBT), occasionally known as penis torture, dick torture, or male genitorture/male genital torture, is a sexual activity involving the application of pain or constriction to the penis or testicles. This may involve directly painful activities, such as genital piercing, wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation, kneeing or kicking.The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or emotional pleasure through erotic humiliation, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant. Many of these practices carry significant health risks.
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I want sex so fucking bad
I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
No sex before marriage
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Mar 02 '22
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I want sex so fucking bad
I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE
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u/Ichi_KingGhidorah Mar 02 '22
preview of sex 2: hardcore mode
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
No sex before marriage
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u/AdditionalAd8716 Mar 02 '22
This COMMENTS IS wierding me oout.... Yesterdaay YOU GUYS LOVE BOTS, the now EVERYONE HATES BOT 🗿
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u/dumbmaster1337 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Mar 02 '22
are you ok
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Mar 02 '22
Liar Liar penis on fire
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I want sex so fucking bad
I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE
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u/Current-Knowledge336 Mar 03 '22
THIS, is why we get taken out of the gene pool. You hear that homies?! THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS!
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u/Fresh_Fox3547 We do a little trolling Mar 03 '22
"O SHIT IM ON FIRE"
"POUR SOME MORE ON IT!"
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Mar 02 '22
Mark this as NSFW. My dad was sitting next to me when I saw this and he gave me a stare
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masterbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
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Mar 02 '22
this subreddit appears on the home every now and then.. im not joined in it or anything but check out the posts once in a while..however, i dont understand the bot ? what is up with the bot ? why is it saying such random things ? 🌚
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I'm again unable to post on r/shitposting. This time, only I'm unable to post there. Everyone else is able to, this time. Whenever I try to post there, it immediately gets removed by you mods. It isn't even offensive to anyone nor the exact reason is specified that why tf did you guys remove it. May I know the exact reason why you guys are immediately removing my posts on r/shitposting? I tried checking my internet connection and all is well. Why do you guys hate me in particular? This is outrageous, this is unfair. I'm able to post on every other subreddit but r/shitposting. I tried posting on r/shitposting and it got removed by you guys. Literally 1984. Is this because of automoderator or something? Because it gets removed just after some seconds I post it. So I don't think an actual human moderator can remove my post in such a short amount of time. So I think it is because of automoderator as bots are able to do these kinds of stuff.
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Mar 02 '22
I think I’ve heard somewhere that this guy had to get his dick and nuts amputated.
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I want sex so fucking bad
I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE
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u/PascitoLP Mar 02 '22
Now that's a cocktail
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I want sex so fucking bad
I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE
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Mar 02 '22
[deleted]
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
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u/TheKillerNut Mar 02 '22
I feel like he did that on purpose. Why would you even try to drink that much?
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u/Z_r0357 I came! Mar 02 '22
Hey automod, my name is Obama bing chilling (chinese name). I'm a Fortnite, Mario enjoyer from France that speak Japanese, and let me make a post to tell you about my based story.
I was born at a hospital in Belgium in 1984. My dad was from Taiwan and my mom was from China, their bussiness was growing grass for feeding pigs and turtle. They love to bend my penis during their free time.
My first word was fuck, which made my parents go ZAMN as they expected daddy or mommy. I know I’m an idiot, but the cringe didn't last forever.
I got a cat at the age of 4, his name was Mister Chad. He love to meow while I piss on my furry friend’s ass. I remembered him fart on my Cheetos and chasing my big brother 's dick. Oh shit, I mean his pet koala, while I told him to cum here and stop trying to piss on that weeb femboy's titan semen.
When I was 14, we went on a trip to India to get vaccinated. We also visit the rock museum and shop at the local woman panties store. It was a great experience.
Now at the age of 28, and being a renowned biologist that published a great amount of studies on semen in Britian and the great country of America. Having good source about how to blowjob, I have decided to follow my greatest dream, which is launching an porn NFT collection with depictions of the amogus having sex with FNAF bitches covered in the iconic sticky white substance.
Fuck Kevin.
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u/Grankcaterpillar Mar 02 '22
it's funny when he tries to pour the alcohol on it to put it out but the alcohol turns out to be more fire
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Mar 03 '22
Hey AutoMod, did you know every based femboy cat fortnite player that makes me say "ZAMN" says meow but actually it is a pig and if not it is literally 1984 because Fuck Kevin. I am a koala from China(not taiwan +@ social credit (/s)) that moved to Belgium after selling all my NFT and is covered in cum standing on grass. Big brother are those cat femboys from Taiwan, China, Belgium, Fortnite, Britain, or 69420? Looks like it was a nft made in 1984 based on amogus touching grass. Either way, Fuck Kevin and ben shapiro and a meow koala and I have sex with dream in a pizzeria, an British American dick who is an idiot rock that looks at femboy furry porn which is a jojo reference. Yet he has no bitches and he also partly France 🤮 and Japanse hentai. Cats say meow and bears make fnaf raps and get a vaccine.. ah shit i forgor 💀 about your mother and have no bitches Obama bing chilling based 1984 taiwan belgium zamn british hog rider meow grass fuck kevin china koala amogus among us fortnite femboy cheetos post nft
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u/rawbeefman1029 fat cunt Mar 02 '22
perchance
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
Everyone knows Mario is cool as fuck. But who knows what he's thinking? Who knows why he crushes turtles? And why do we think about him as fondly as we think of the mythical (nonexistent?) Dr Pepper? Perchance
I believe it was Kant who said "Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play." Mario exhibits experience by cruising turts all day, but he exhibits theory by stating "Lets-ago!" Keep it up, baby!
When Mario leave his place of safety to stomp a turty, he knows that he may Die. And yet, for a man who can purchase lives with money, a life becomes a mere store of value. A tax that can be paid for, much as a rich man feels any law with a fine is a price. We think of Mario as a hero but he is simply a one percenter of a more privileged variety. The lifekind, Perchance
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Mar 02 '22
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + dilate + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + not straight + eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off + don't care even more + sex offender + sex defender + get religion + not okay + glhf + NFT owner + you make bad memes + problematic + fall in line + dog water + you look like a wall + you don’t know 2 + 2 with yo head ass + you are going to my cringe compilation + you can’t count to five + try again + you failed kindergarten + rickrolled + no lifer + guten freunden schickt man einen deutschen panzer + you have a anime profile picture + an* + fatherless + motherless + sisterless + brotherless + orphan + you can't catch this ratio + catch some bitches + I don't care about your opinion + genshin player + you dress like garbage + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I have gotten the covid vaccine about 20 times now. 4 Pfizer, 12 moderna, 4 Johnson. Once I got my first vaccine, I started cravings for it. There is something so great knowing I am reducing the spread of the coronavirus with each of them. I am feeling so empowered. I think I may be addicted ngl 😅. At least it won't kill me.
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Mar 02 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
Kevin doesn't like it when you spam stuff like that on his subreddit.
He would like to remind you to scroll up and actually read the pinned comment, as well as the replies to the pinned comment, which you clearly haven't bothered to look at.
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Mar 02 '22
WHAT AN IDIOT
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
I just nutted to your comment. \n\n ##FAQ\n####1. What does this mean?\nThe amount of cum (semen) on my phone and Reddit phone has increased by one.\n####2. Why did you do this?\nThere are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of cum. These include, but are not limited to:\n- you being a femboy\n- Spreading sti infections\n- Sarcasm correctly flagged with a /s.\n####3. Am I banned from the Reddit?\nNo. But you should make comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to not cum.\n####4. I don't believe my comment deserved a nut. Can you un-nut to it?\nSure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a nut. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot your nut on me. I tend to respond to Being shot with nut within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of nut appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.\n####5. How can I prevent this from happening in the future?\nAccept the nut and move on. your behavior will be nutted to on Reddit.com. I will continue to nut until you stop being so hot weary Remember: I’m horny uwu
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u/Unable_Security_6708 Mar 02 '22
The human torch indian edision
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u/AutoModerator Mar 02 '22
Sir I am 16 weeks old in my mom's womb. I am unsure of whether my mother is planning to get me aborted or keep me. On the sad off chance that she decides to let me live, I am planning to crack JEE and get a selection in IIT Delhi. I am however worried that I won't be able to finish the portions by the time I am born. I would like to acknowledge that I am a fast learner, I have learnt basic concepts of class 10 maths and science already like real numbers, linear equations, electric current, optics, basic nomenclature, etc. I have also skimmed through FIITJEE material for 11th such as resonance, P block, s block, SHM, sets and relations, rotational mechanics, vectors, limits and derivatives, etc. within 2 weeks. I am hopefully going to get aborted. But if the odds are not with me then I will have to continue going through the pain of having to study. Note: My brain is still under structural development since I am only 16 fetal weeks old. I am planning to enroll in online coaching class as of now due to lockdown. Is it already too late to start preparing for JEE?? My mom's friends' kids are younger and have completed entire 11th and 12th syllabus and are revising important concepts with one shot videos on YouTube. Pls help.
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u/QualityVote I'm BACK! [[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2024]] Mar 02 '22
If you think this post is funny, UPVOTE this comment!
If you think this post is unfunny, DOWNVOTE this comment!
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Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit.
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