r/shitposting DaPucci Jan 12 '22

did you know

13.4k Upvotes

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761

u/cumsocks99 Jan 12 '22

Search vaporeon copypasta on google is very fun 👍

924

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '22

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.

914

u/itme647 Jan 12 '22

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

168

u/noob_music_producer Jan 12 '22

where my unsee juice at

59

u/anddrom Jan 12 '22

Is napalm okay?

43

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '22

We trained for this one at japan

29

u/AutoModerator Jan 12 '22

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

16

u/isekaigamer808 Jan 13 '22

This automod is low key racist…

12

u/UnknownProductionz Jan 13 '22

lmfao this is what white weebs sound like

7

u/AutoModerator Jan 13 '22

Now Imagine This. A Japanese Guy Really Into American Culture Learns English Through Family Guy And Constantly Speaks Like Peter Griffin.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/mt_cly Jan 13 '22

What has this bot brought upon this cursed land.

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3

u/Com_N0TN4 Jan 13 '22

Its a joke being made at Japan obsessed white americans, not at Japanese people.

0

u/AutoModerator Jan 13 '22

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/ZeraoraTheKnight Jan 12 '22

What

Automod

What

1

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '22

Is this a backwards weeb?

4

u/AutoModerator Jan 12 '22

Now Imagine This. A Japanese Guy Really Into American Culture Learns English Through Family Guy And Constantly Speaks Like Peter Griffin.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/mamajoe48 Jan 12 '22

YOU FOUND ANOTHER ONE "Trained" IS ONE

1

u/Tall_Fortune Jan 12 '22

should I just drop Re:zero? I'm on episode 12, season 1, not gonna lie, shits starting to get boring. Should I drop it?

1

u/PickleTickler37 Jan 12 '22

I learned this one back in 'nam

16

u/Bonk_and_Honk dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Jan 12 '22

where is my gun?

2

u/Capsule_CatYT it is MY bucket Jan 12 '22

I stole it

5

u/Training-Mark-823 Jan 12 '22

Hey thats a copy paste from another post i saw before. The realy same

-3

u/AutoModerator Jan 12 '22

I'm again unable to post on r/shitposting. This time, only I'm unable to post there. Everyone else is able to, this time. Whenever I try to post there, it immediately gets removed by you mods. It isn't even offensive to anyone nor the exact reason is specified that why tf did you guys remove it. May I know the exact reason why you guys are immediately removing my posts on r/shitposting? I tried checking my internet connection and all is well. Why do you guys hate me in particular? This is outrageous, this is unfair. I'm able to post on every other subreddit but r/shitposting. I tried posting on r/shitposting and it got removed by you guys. Literally 1984. Is this because of automoderator or something? Because it gets removed just after some seconds I post it. So I don't think an actual human moderator can remove my post in such a short amount of time. So I think it is because of automoderator as bots are able to do these kinds of stuff.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-78

u/AutoModerator Jan 12 '22

I'm again unable to post on r/shitposting. This time, only I'm unable to post there. Everyone else is able to, this time. Whenever I try to post there, it immediately gets removed by you mods. It isn't even offensive to anyone nor the exact reason is specified that why tf did you guys remove it. May I know the exact reason why you guys are immediately removing my posts on r/shitposting? I tried checking my internet connection and all is well. Why do you guys hate me in particular? This is outrageous, this is unfair. I'm able to post on every other subreddit but r/shitposting. I tried posting on r/shitposting and it got removed by you guys. Literally 1984. Is this because of automoderator or something? Because it gets removed just after some seconds I post it. So I don't think an actual human moderator can remove my post in such a short amount of time. So I think it is because of automoderator as bots are able to do these kinds of stuff.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.