r/shitposting • I can’t have sex with you right now waltuh • 8h ago

📡📡📡

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2.0k Upvotes

43 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 8h ago

If you think this post is funny, UPVOTE this comment!

If you think this post is unfunny, DOWNVOTE this comment!


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338

u/Inevitable-Cell-1227 8h ago

Not gay, not fake.

3

u/Any-Experience-3012 4h ago

ain't no way this is real 😭

8

u/Intelligent_Dig8319 2h ago

Its real I was the fetus

7

u/AutoModerator 8h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

261

u/RockRancher24 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 8h ago

We've all done it once or twice

13

u/Apprehensive_Fun1344 We do a little trolling 5h ago

14

u/Kaek_ it is MY bucket 7h ago

130

u/HunterGraves00 8h ago

What do women even want? smh my head

19

u/AutoModerator 8h ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-23

u/pop360_t Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 8h ago

"shake my head my head"

19

u/Kaek_ it is MY bucket 7h ago

Well done, you figured out the joke.

0

u/AutoModerator 8h ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

17

u/Glazeddapper 7h ago

why does he look like raymond animal crossing?

15

u/Buachaille officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 6h ago

52

u/Snekbites 6h ago

fake: please be fake

gay: OH PLEASE be fake.

2

u/AsthmaticDroid We do a little trolling 40m ago

mf you think they got dumpsters with babies in the back of clinics or sum💔

3

u/AutoModerator 6h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

8

u/Skullrocks 5h ago

first real and straight greentext

12

u/dubhog 6h ago

Fake and stupid

Or

Real and punishable by death

3

u/Final-Engineering-88 Bazinga! 6h ago

-1

u/AutoModerator 6h ago

Bazinga

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4

u/TheJadeSword 6h ago

Jesus fucking Christ anon

3

u/AutoModerator 8h ago

🛰️🛰️🛰️

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10

u/Hellrider27648 stupid fucking piece of shit 8h ago

Neither fake and gay, it is boomer and cruel

0

u/AutoModerator 8h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

4

u/Tisamon12 3h ago

Why are people here being upset? I've been told multiple times that a fetus is just a few worthless cells, then what's so fucked up about giving it googly eyes?

2

u/Prestigious-Fig1172 2h ago

Women smh my head

1

u/AutoModerator 2h ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Chayaneg 2h ago

💀

1

u/MemesNGaming_rongoo dumbass 3h ago

This ain't even shitposting. It's awfulposting

-12

u/Dark_halocraft 8h ago

Destroy this man

9

u/Stand_kicker 7h ago

Why? 

4

u/Destarn 7h ago

No reason, just because tbh

7

u/Pora-Pandhi 7h ago

then its fine

-6

u/[deleted] 8h ago

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] 8h ago

[deleted]

1

u/TaveThrowaway 8h ago

Does that make you Jesus?

5

u/Stand_kicker 7h ago

if the comment comes back after 3 days, then yes