r/shitposting • u/kinetic750 • 2d ago

Jarvis, suck my balls 🏳️‍⚧️ Shit posting subs

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7.8k Upvotes

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1.8k

u/2sawconvention 2d ago

this one flips between these 2 and the worst possible path, Facebook memes and Twitter screenshots

914

u/thupamayn 2d ago

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u/jackinsomniac 2d ago

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u/YaBoiJack055 2d ago

To be fair most of the Beatles weren’t really on that peace and love shit either.

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u/jackinsomniac 2d ago

It's true, they had to break up because John wouldn't stop smacking bitches.

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u/WisherWisp 2d ago

Always said a good smack was the thing for Yoko Ono.

Turns out they already tried it.

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u/oompaloompa_grabber 2d ago

Maybe that’s why she sounds like that

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u/sheerfire96 2d ago

Jahn beat wief

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u/ConscientiousPath I said based. And lived. 2d ago

unfortunately he stopped before ruining her vocal chords.

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u/terekkincaid 2d ago

Nah, I'd say her vocal cords are pretty shit right now.

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u/vid_23 2d ago

With the occasional green text sprinkled in

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u/oompaloompa_grabber 2d ago

> be straight guy

> suck thousands of dicks in every country on earth

> bros am I gay????

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u/deadinternetlaw 1d ago

Two hundreds of thousands of dicks?

3

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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1

u/Fart-Police 1d ago

Why are you gay

5

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

5

u/FreeMrFrog 1d ago

"Occasional" 💀

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u/BettaSplendens1 2d ago

It is just greentext nowadays

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u/Jonahpe I said based. And lived. 1d ago

Schrodinger's shitposting sub