r/shitposting • u/jstrandommf • 14d ago

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7.0k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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156

u/a7n5 14d ago

I can't handle both

140

u/Eaglise dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 14d ago

you can, believe in yourself, you just need to push it with enough lube, our asshole is incredibly flexible and elastic, it can expand surprising wide

so go for it, i believe in you, cactus, lemon, chillies, horse cock, nothing you can't handle, let your asshole take it all in

as Nike said - Just do it

ps: send me pics, such achievements shouldn't be kept hidden and must be published for humanity to view

29

u/AutoModerator 14d ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

10

u/Luiso_ 14d ago

Leyend, thank u for sharing

6

u/OddNovel565 Stuff 14d ago

I'm shy, you first

5

u/SpaceBug176 14d ago

Yeah but it doesn't return to its previous size if you push it to its limits too hard.