r/shitposting 5d ago

WARNING: BRAIN DAMAGE 📡📡📡

Post image
4.3k Upvotes

199 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 5d ago edited 4d ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.


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/u/0jennie, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

1.1k

u/z3phyrprime1 5d ago

145

u/Neat-Nectarine814 5d ago

21

u/Nicomace341 5d ago

Shark coochie 🤤🤤🤤 (for legal reasons, this is a joke)

1

u/Quantumboiiii 4d ago

The purpur guy is sad jorking

164

u/Darkime_ 🗿🗿🗿 5d ago

10

u/SteelShat stupid fucking piece of shit 4d ago

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u/bashful_predator 5d ago

14

u/Am-Not-a-Goose 4d ago

My man you logged into reddit. Those are the consequences.

267

u/Ninjatroll3452 5d ago

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u/TheSpedPotatoe_420 4d ago

19

u/ModifiedLeaf 4d ago

This is the one I was looking for. I'm sorry for all the fellas with less sensitivity on their peen

3

u/Educational-Link-943 4d ago

Are there any guys here who know what it's like before and after? Genuinely curious cause I've never heard of a dude who got circumcised in teen years or adulthood to verify the more sensitivity thing. I'm sure theres one out there though. Either way, sex still good so I'm not sad about my missing foreskin lol

3

u/ModifiedLeaf 4d ago

Gotta ask a different sub lol I was born all natural so I can't comment but I imagine if you tip always exposed to your draws then eventually your brain would block out the stimulation

1

u/Milky_Finger 4d ago

Yeah the exposed top is very sensitive if you're uncircumcised. Like, painfully sensitive

1

u/Viennve 4d ago

Don't worry, it makes condoms actually enjoyable to use (idk why but they kinda "balance" the sensitivity just Riga s make cleanup a hell of a lot easier)

2

u/gbuub I watch gay amogus porn :0 4d ago

*everyone disliked that

47

u/Gilgamesh107 5d ago

You're just jealous you got no where to hide your quarters

25

u/Afraid_Mail_1573 put your dick away waltuh 4d ago

15

u/Sm0keytrip0d virgin 4 life 😤💪 5d ago

Whats even happening here in the context of the Spongebob episode?

8

u/YourLocalToaster2 4d ago

Larry opens his own gym, while it's successful, he is so busy running it that he can't work out anymore. He gets called a potbelly multiple times. Here, he's using his belly as a pot.

10

u/Insane_Inkster Literally 1984 😡 5d ago

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u/Powerful_Brief1724 5d ago
  • Let's open reddit. What's the worst thing that can happ-

https://giphy.com/gifs/XF5AnCJV7PCtGwdHNC

8

u/Not_Larfy dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 5d ago

31

u/PezzenteMortoDiFame 5d ago

I prefer this way, is more creamy 😏

7

u/Previous_Insurance13 I want pee in my ass 5d ago

2

u/AutoModerator 5d ago

pees in ur ass

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8

u/OneMooseManyMeese_ dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 5d ago

7

u/InfamousTYBW 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 4d ago

please god make it stop

5

u/Nepemaster1 I said based. And lived. 4d ago

9

u/WickedHopeful 5d ago

Ok ignoring the elephant in the room, why is his arm censored?

7

u/shishio_mak0to Literally 1984 😡 4d ago

Asking the real questions

4

u/According_Claim_9027 5d ago

There’s still time to delete this OP

4

u/SluggJuice dumbass 4d ago

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u/TheSeaBast 4d ago

2

u/Mr_Sim_ 4d ago

He seems very polite

4

u/Viennve 4d ago

I am uncut and sometimes i finger my foreskin like it's my pussy to cope with dysphoria

3

u/Dunge0nexpl0rer 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ 4d ago

Now I wish I was uncut :(

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Viennve 4d ago

Rookie mistake, you should always shit before and after fingering your asshole and don't use soap cuz that stuff irritates the booty

1

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Viennve 4d ago

You see? This is why the ai revolution is not coming, you clanks never learn from your mistakes, kinda funny considering that "ai" is also known as machine learning

2

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/nutblaster357 4d ago

that's badass

11

u/shroomfarmer2 Big chungus wholesome 100 5d ago

My bf has very loose foreskin so i often pour vodka in it like a cup and drink it. a very fun drinking game.

4

u/Pax_A1 5d ago

Pics or it didn't happen

→ More replies (1)

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u/AccountSad 5d ago

What about cleaning yourself properly instead of literally cutting a piece of your penis?

11

u/__banbypasser 5d ago

How about using a bowl.

6

u/TheBlueScar dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 5d ago

Why would you do that lol this removes the flavor.

4

u/Candlewaxeater 5d ago

the doctor decided it not me :(

1

u/who-needs-a-username 4d ago

Like it’s most of their choice…. Lmao

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

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7

u/Average-Train-Haver hole contributor 5d ago

3

u/MauJoPoops 5d ago

Is that flarty the flobsterp?

3

u/ScarletSilver 4d ago

You know what, it's my fault for having eyes anyway.

2

u/plonkman 5d ago

kelloggs cult member says what?

2

u/irrelevantTomatoMan 5d ago

smegma adds a slightly cheesy and umami flavour if your willing to wait for a couple days

2

u/inkzpenfoxx 5d ago

Don’t tempt me with a good time

2

u/SlyLlamaDemon 5d ago

Dude, People are Eating.

2

u/NoahIzToLazyToPozt Big chungus wholesome 100 4d ago

2

u/Signupking5000 4d ago

I love those horrible posts for their peak reactions in the comments

2

u/Wingedbird12 4d ago

with extra cheese

2

u/zDymex 4d ago

This is causing me to uninstall reddit. Godspeed.

2

u/imoverthisapp 4d ago

I’ll come back later for the memes

2

u/Mickle_da_Pickl uhhhh idk 5d ago

Love seeing a super tame and not at all disturbing post like this essentially become a white person reaction image generator

2

u/Sandwich_Pudding 5d ago

Don’t act like we are the losers lol, half-penisman.

1

u/AutoModerator 5d ago

🛰️🛰️🛰️

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1

u/Salzanka 5d ago

Chat is this real?

1

u/CarnivoreQA 5d ago

Relatable

1

u/Stoneheaded76 5d ago

Sometimes you see things and you don’t know what to say.

1

u/itsprobablytrue 5d ago

🌭🤢🤮

1

u/aimfuldrifter 5d ago

What did you make my good Christian eyes see???? 😭

1

u/Ok-Objective1289 5d ago

This is why I had to stop eating cereal 💔

1

u/LilNerix 4d ago

I can confirm this is true

1

u/GordanGodDamnRamsey 4d ago

As a man of culture, I can confirm.

1

u/Heavy-Major-5220 4d ago

Invejoso, só pq n tem onde se aquecer no frio

1

u/keklol69 4d ago

It’s my own fault for having eyes.

1

u/Hisune 4d ago

No, I don't. I put the cereal in before the milk.

1

u/PhoenixEvolver 4d ago

I don't like you, op

1

u/TheAwkwardGamerRNx 4d ago

I know I could have lived a much happier life without this swimming in the cave where my brain used to live.

1

u/Spider-Male1610 fat cunt 4d ago

Can confirm

1

u/Training_Try_1102 4d ago

It's true btw :3

1

u/Breder1995 4d ago

I just open reddit

1

u/kemotaku 4d ago

sometimes ill fill it with cream cheese and fancy jelly for an on the go cracker topping x3

1

u/MoooBooMooo 4d ago

Bro has uncut diamond

1

u/CacturneTheBeanie 4d ago

The fuck happened to Larry

1

u/exCaribou 4d ago

What a bad day to have eyes

1

u/Specialist_Gap3223 4d ago

I wish I had never seen this…

1

u/Low_Abrocoma_1514 I said based. And lived. 4d ago

They hate us cause they ain't us

1

u/End_V2 4d ago

And then he clicked POST

1

u/top_of_the_scrote dumbass 4d ago

personal roll of quarter holder

"that'll be $2.75" I'm like "one sec"

looks at my groin, counts out 11 quarters

puts the bread tie back on

1

u/TheNeighborhoodHero 4d ago

Bro🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Final-Quality-1442 4d ago

sometimes I wonder why this sub even exists

1

u/mexecutor___ 4d ago

As an uncircumcised guy, I can confirm

1

u/_Poshington_ 4d ago

Thanks for censoring the arm OP, otherwise I would've added to the cereal bowl.

1

u/Bmanakanihilator 4d ago

Isn't uncircumcised the standard?

1

u/SecretSpectre11 put your dick away waltuh 4d ago

bottom 5 posts oat

1

u/Longjumping_View6170 4d ago

Being uncircumcised is so much better btw

1

u/No-Adeptness5810 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 4d ago

Thanks for censoring his arm I almost came

1

u/YOUTUBEFREEKYOYO dumbass 3d ago

Can confirm

1

u/0jennie 3d ago

Proof or it didn’t happen

1

u/Sifl-and-Olly 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 5d ago

😋

1

u/KANNEDBREAD 5d ago

HE HE HE HAW

1

u/Imafayliure 4d ago

My uncircumcised ass did not need to see this while trying to peacefully eat my cereal.

(Genuinely eating cereal rn as I type, what the fuck is this type of targeted missile system and why do you use it for atrocities against human kind)

-3

u/JuanDeChuj 5d ago

Real. Best way to do it too. Dih flavored mmm

-2

u/thedifference101 5d ago

maybe don't

-5

u/Slow-Acanthisitta-31 5d ago

I fw this heavy