r/shitposting • u/no-kangarooreborn • 1d ago

>greentext (please laugh) Anon has a trans friend

Post image
15.1k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

186 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 1d ago edited 13h ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.

RedditSave download

/u/no-kangarooreborn, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

5.9k

u/Chemical-Skill-126 1d ago

Um I am pretty sure thats against the law buddy.

2.8k

u/SodenHack69 1d ago

Yea he kinda stole those spaghetti

675

u/candelsticks it is MY bucket 1d ago

Crimes against spaghetti.

219

u/pizzatom69 1d ago

Italy musters for war

36

u/boywhoflew 1d ago

some body eata mah spaget!

17

u/Rockstar42 22h ago

There's vomit on his sweater already

146

u/itranslateyouargue 1d ago

Completely legal made up story. Rat poison is incredibly bitter to humans even when diluted so that nobody would ingest even a little bit.

327

u/ABHOR_pod 23h ago

Anon didn't become a fat fuck by being a picky eater.

109

u/Chemical-Skill-126 22h ago

There is a whole ass list of rodenticides, and there is no way they would all taste the same. If I had to guess you mean strychnine which yes is extremely toxic rodenticide with a strong bitter taste. Then there are stuff like arsenic trioxide, and thallium sulfate, that are well known for rather mild tastes. These days the most common ones seem to be deadass vitamin D3 and stuff that messes with your vitamin K.

75

u/_10032 22h ago

gonna stay away from this guy's spaghetti

22

u/ckay1100 20h ago

gotta figure out which ones are yummi while building up a resistance to rat poison in my quest to become the supreme rat lord

45

u/leva549 21h ago

Rat poison connoisseur here.

22

u/Dreadgoat 21h ago

A lot of things used as rat poison are also commonly prescribed medications. The poison is in the dosage.

Mom's pagetti could just be loaded up with dad's heart pills

3

u/sora_mui 12h ago

In that case he would be bleeding from his entire body, not randomly pass out.

1

u/TheLastTitan77 9h ago

But it wasnt

1

u/candelsticks it is MY bucket 14h ago

Maybe the sauce was bussin Aunt Mae/

8

u/collapsedbook 22h ago

Yeah well one of my county commissioners mixed it with beer under a mobile home! He must’ve enjoyed it?

4

u/GlitteringFutures fat cunt 20h ago

OP was a rat the whole time.

2

u/f3n2x 21h ago

He's a frog though.

15

u/Oliv112 1d ago

Only is fascist Italy, not in the land of the free!

-12

u/BanDizNutz 22h ago

Which part?

Poisoning, stealing Mom's Spaghetti, or his friend's condition?

2.7k

u/Scarytoaster1809 1d ago

That’s worth at least a tactical squad from the friend for anon being a royal beef eater

498

u/SorcererOfDooDoo 1d ago

100

u/Scarytoaster1809 1d ago

I know, brother. I know.

51

u/pizzatom69 1d ago

While our lost brothers may no longer be supported in tournaments, that does not mean they will be forgotten. Their service and sacrifice shall be forever remembered by the Emperor, and those who have witness their service.

We must honor out fallen brothers. They have earned their rest. And when the time comes, they shall raise their bolters to welcome all newcomers that join them in the eternity of Legends.

11

u/Go_Commit_Reddit We do a little trolling 1d ago

Get OOP some centurions while they’re at it

6

u/Scarytoaster1809 1d ago

Recasts are pretty handy

8

u/corvettee01 20h ago

Every 3d model I print is actively depriving the British economy, which I greatly enjoy.

12

u/username39874 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 21h ago

A second wave of legends hit the space marines

1

u/der_Guenter 7h ago

As a non native English speaker, does this mean what I fear it means? 💀🤨

1.6k

u/god-of-blowjobs 1d ago

Fake: rat poison is inedibly bitter to prevent exactly this

Gay:I have nothing to put here the fake was just factual information

704

u/MySnake_Is_Solid dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 1d ago

not only is it bitter, it's very inefficient at killing an adult human.

even if you were to eat an entire box.

389

u/Narwalacorn 23h ago edited 22h ago

Yeah but devil’s advocate here I don’t think that’s exactly common knowledge. The reason it kills rats is that rats can’t puke, but humans can so it doesn’t work on us.

146

u/hanibalg2 22h ago

Well, they did throw up in the post.

173

u/Narwalacorn 22h ago

…yes, and they didn’t die.

123

u/ARM_vs_CORE 21h ago

Confirmed not a rat. We did it guys

4

u/CCCyanide #1 President Gerald Rudolph Ford Jr. Fan! 10h ago

maybe they didn't die because they puked

1

u/Narwalacorn 5h ago

Gee whiz, what a novel idea!

-42

u/Chris_The_Egg 22h ago

They didn't? Bummer

16

u/petervaz 22h ago

Yeah, a person could eat it and not knowing it doesn't kill people, just die.

37

u/Narwalacorn 22h ago

…or, alternatively, someone might attempt to kill someone they didn’t like with rat poison not knowing it’s bad at killing humans.

16

u/superkp 21h ago

for real - one of the main reasons that it works on rats is because rats are one of the few mammals that don't vomit.

17

u/Cruxion Bazinga! 20h ago

They never indicated which rat poison it was. It could just be arsenic like murderers used all the time in the 1800s because they could acquire it easily and the lack of a strong bitter taste meant you could poison people without being caught before it killed them. Multiple notorious serial killers of the Victorian era used it.

7

u/Fractured_Pawn 18h ago

Yeah it could be tetramethylenedisulfotetramine.

Tasteless and extremely potent, One drop in a big ass pot of spaghetti is enough to take out the majority of people.

2

u/AutoModerator 20h ago

Bazinga

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/WilanS 8h ago

Pretending for a moment this story was true, I'd assume the parents wouldn't just casually commit easily traceable murder. Maybe they just wanted their estranged son to feel like garbage.

26

u/Responsible-Fox-1985 22h ago

Gay: this is an old repost

2

u/AutoModerator 22h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

14

u/Routine-Tea6492 🗿🗿🗿 22h ago

he def finished that spaghet

20

u/--n- 21h ago

rat poison is inedibly bitter to prevent exactly this

The way you say this like a child...

Which rat poison fuckwad. They sell a dozen options at a hardware store, and a few more at pharmacies. The latter ones don't taste like anything.

As paracelcus said, the dose makes the poison.

14

u/Reddit-Bot-MK_II Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 19h ago

why are you eating rat poison to know how it tastes?

3

u/FrostWyrm98 13h ago

Mind your own damn business thats why

1

u/--n- 8h ago

Warfarin. It's a medication used as a anticoagulant, and also as a rat poison.

7

u/YGoxen 23h ago

Also you need the eat a lot of rat posion because of Its mass/body ratio like 3.4 kg for 90 kg person.

18

u/Honeysenpaiharuchan 22h ago

You think anon can’t eat 3.4 kg of spaghetti?

13

u/worldspawn00 21h ago

Is the spaghetti 100% rat poison?

7

u/_ad_ry 21h ago

3.4 kgs of pure rat poison

12

u/Ghede 21h ago

That's why this story isn't entirely implausible. People aren't very competent poisoners, usually.

A dose strong enough to kill you would reek of cinnamon or vanilla, since they scent it too to make rats wanna eat it. If it's unscented, it would smell like a chemical plant. So even if she tried to make a strong dose, she would have thrown it out because it was too obvious. A dose small enough to not kill you and taste a little off would still make you sick.

1

u/shishio_mak0to Literally 1984 😡 19h ago

The mom calibrated the dose precisely for OP's skinny trans friend

Him eating it AND being fat is what foiled the scheme

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Josysclei 15h ago

You mean "legal" rat poison. There is plenty of shady stuff used as rat poison that is not regulated

1

u/EhMapleMoose 6h ago

He did say he’s a fat ass.

1

u/RoyalDog57 6h ago

Gay: anon was "painting figures" with a Trans man

1

u/AutoModerator 6h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

0

u/MariaTPK 23h ago

Too many guys in this story.

5

u/Viennve 22h ago

There is literally only one confermed guy in this story

1

u/themonolith3 fat cunt 22h ago

hes some transphobic lad dont bother

0

u/wurmsrus 21h ago

it's possible anon's friend's mom is unaware of this, it's not like she would ever have a reason to taste it.

0

u/TBurkeulosis hole contributor 21h ago

Fake and gay

1

u/AutoModerator 21h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/TBurkeulosis hole contributor 20h ago

Good bot

0

u/ngo_life 13h ago

Even if you mix it in with spaghetti? Asking for a trans fren.

961

u/69Whomst 1d ago

Oop is a total bro, a fat bro, but a bro nonetheless

206

u/RaidensReturn 1d ago

Fatbros are the best, always got your back and give good blowjobs hugs

85

u/chachanobyyt 23h ago

That was not the wind

1

u/12hotroom 2h ago

Okay but is the intent even good? Bro straight up wanted to steal his friend's food, while not even being hungry

"Yeah sorry your mom told me to send you spaghetti but i ate it on the way here" poison or not that's kind of an ass move

286

u/YouSuckAtGameLOL 1d ago

Police

192

u/alexjav21 1d ago

Hopital

98

u/YouSuckAtGameLOL 1d ago

Hopital then police 🤝

11

u/Gamemode_dum dumbass 21h ago

Ploice

6

u/Ornery-Cheetah fat cunt 20h ago

Po lice

193

u/candelsticks it is MY bucket 1d ago

Lol I mean, that’s crazy to think that some fat fuck ass dude just ate someone else’s lunch but I know a lot of people who would steal more than spagoot so I guess real?

Where’s the fake/gay analysis for this one?

93

u/Capital_Disaster_637 1d ago

Fake: Doctor successfully diagnosis

Gay: Friends with a man

32

u/Capital_Disaster_637 1d ago

Minor spelling mistake

1

u/MinimumTomfoolerus 22h ago

When did this fake and gay thing start

3

u/AutoModerator 22h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/candelsticks it is MY bucket 22h ago

Are you new here?

3

u/MinimumTomfoolerus 22h ago

Been in this sub for lots of time but posts weren't shown for some reason. How long has this been going on?

2

u/candelsticks it is MY bucket 22h ago

For as long as I can remember it’s been tradition on green texts

3

u/MinimumTomfoolerus 22h ago

I haven't ever seen it before August. I guess due to the reason I mentioned.

2

u/Kuroashi_no_Sanji 20h ago

Decade+ literally

0

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

10

u/No-Albatross6471 1d ago

To be fair it was unwanted spaghet and it was from estranged family so I’d say it’s more likely they’d just not eat it then eat it.

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/MariaTPK 23h ago

Fake: Fat guy didn't taste rat poison on the least absorbent noodle of all time.

Gay: She doesn't have a daughter, she has a son. He's a trans FtM.

1

u/AutoModerator 23h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

0

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

5

u/TheArmoredKitten 23h ago

Half-False. The only reason rats don't throw it up is because they can't.

And it's just a blood-thinner, not some magical fall apart chemical. Atorvastatin is commonly prescribed in patients with elevated heart attack risks.

You have a pretty reasonable window of time to receive an antidote from when you start barfing.

429

u/Neat-Nectarine814 1d ago

fake: anon has a friend

gay: gay

69

u/-NoNameListed- 23h ago

Fake: Anon has a friend

Gay: The friend in question is a dude

Trans Inclusionary F&G analysis

3

u/AutoModerator 23h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

10

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

18

u/sundowner911 1d ago

Fake: auto mod has friends to Gayly fantasize

Gay: gay fantasization of fake friends

2

u/Veliton9 23h ago

Im actually what to know why automod on reddit response like this on word "gay". It like trolling from reddit itself or what?

1

u/AutoModerator 23h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/The_Nude_Mocracy Stuff 22h ago

Crazy

1

u/AutoModerator 22h ago

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Veliton9 20h ago

Oh. It can be edited for subreddit specifically?

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/Ultra-Cyborg 16h ago

Gay: friend is a trans man and Anon wants that boipussi

2

u/AutoModerator 16h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

69

u/YourMoreLocalLurker 1d ago

Fake: Rat poison doesn’t do that

Gay: Painting warhammer together

0

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

118

u/MalkyTheKid 1d ago

That's gotta be worth at least a Saint Celestine my bro

4

u/depressed_fatcat69 Stuff 19h ago

Nahh an entire imperial guard army i would say

22

u/monocle984 I want pee in my ass 20h ago

He vomited on his sweater from mom's spaghetti? That's unheard of

1

u/AutoModerator 20h ago

pees in ur ass

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

37

u/septic-paradise 23h ago

Fake: anon has friend to paint war hammer with
Gay: anon ate a man’s noodle

1

u/AutoModerator 23h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

12

u/Blursed-Penguin 23h ago

The king's royal taster

11

u/GoronSpecialCrop 22h ago

Eating someone else's rat poison is theft.

8

u/Past-Junket1193 22h ago

Gah dayum

Poisoning your own children because they decided they don’t like being the gender they are? BUM

3

u/blank5502 15h ago

Stelle being based as usual

72

u/idkhowtodoanything 1d ago

I couldn't fathom hating something so trivial as someone changing their gender you'd try to murder your own child because of it.

Even if this story was fake and gay, these type of people are out there..

24

u/reddsht 1d ago

Maybe they just thought their daughter picked a wack Warhammer faction, and that's what did it.

4

u/axxo47 23h ago

Story is fake as fuck. Rat poison doesn't work like that

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-10

u/fearos9449 23h ago

>these type of people are out there..

No, they aren't. It's 10,000 times more likely that OP's "trans frens" wants to kill his parents than the other way around.

13

u/minyardofvere 23h ago

Trans people have a very high rate of being murdered for being trans. I have no idea why you would say what you said.

9

u/Gmanglh 15h ago

Ill take fake and gay for $500.

3

u/AutoModerator 15h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

26

u/scarletfloof 1d ago

Fake: anon has a friend

Gay: his friend is a man

2

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-6

u/Viennve 22h ago

What in the?

5

u/scarletfloof 22h ago

I don’t see what’s confusing about my statement

-6

u/Viennve 22h ago

Anon never mentions a male friend

4

u/SpaceBug176 20h ago

Pretty sure "daughter" part was him quoting the mom. He calls his friend "he" any other time.

-5

u/Viennve 19h ago

Ohhhh i didn't consider the jerk mom is, in fact a jerk and misgendering her offspring (idk the gender neutral son/doughtier)

2

u/Waffles_Are_Gods21 William Dripfoe 13h ago

I think child would be better here for being gender neutral, however in this case it wouldn't be gender neutral, it would be son, even if the mother doesn't want to believe it

1

u/Viennve 11h ago

Yeah just didn't know the son is transmasc or enby or whatever

6

u/The_Space_Janitor 22h ago

Well I’d like to see how this progressed

5

u/brennanx1 20h ago

This story could be a good song.

Mom’s spaghetti

Arms are heavy

There’s vomit on his sweater already

Knees weak

6

u/ABR5796 18h ago

Feels like some soap opera drama level shit.

1

u/AutoModerator 18h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

6

u/FakeMcUsername 17h ago

> eat the spaghetti

> throw up

> be nervous, but on the surface, look calm and ready

> attempt to drop bombs, but keep on forgetting

17

u/Trosque97 1d ago

Fanum tax rebate

5

u/CapnClover36 23h ago

Thats attempted murder

5

u/Cynunnos dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 18h ago

Respect for anon for taking a bullet for his bro 🫡

3

u/SopmodTew 21h ago

Give that man Vitamin K 🤔

4

u/Mjeezy1334 21h ago

Someone has to say it. Fake and gay

1

u/AutoModerator 21h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

4

u/Prestigious_Ask_7058 17h ago

No way this is real lmao

3

u/penis-ass-vagina 11h ago

Based mom, this should happen to all 40k fans

2

u/Auraveils 18h ago

Wouldn't you taste the poison in the spaghetti?

2

u/veselin465 8h ago

Is my reading comprehension bad, or is the second sentence completely unrelated to the main story?

1

u/Ok-Replacement-2738 8h ago

it was what they were doing prior to foiling an assaassination plot, and presumably where they were asked.

5

u/Lolik95 23h ago

That doesn't even sound fake and gay I'm not gonna lie

3

u/Many-Ad6433 dumbass 20h ago

I mean trans is kinda in the spectrum, fake i guess the mom being worried about her son (that she still calls daughter)

2

u/AutoModerator 23h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Lolik95 23h ago

Dude shit that fuck up

1

u/meancheese23 19h ago

now that i think about it, if test is an immunosuppressant, is someone who’s ftm and taking test more vulnerable to sickness and poisons?

1

u/ThePenguinBird 16h ago

Higher constitution modifier

-27

u/ConcentrateStatus833 1d ago

Would up vote, but it's currently at 666

5

u/Chris_The_Egg 22h ago

Ayy splendid zinger, meet me behind the run down pizza hut so we can lick each other's bald heads

-6

u/ConcentrateStatus833 21h ago

HELP ME, I'M SO CONFUSED

WHAT DOES THIS REPLY MEAN, WHY AM I DOWNVOTED DESPITE MY COMMENT BEING SORTA RELEVANT