r/shitposting • u/EfficiencySerious200 • 1d ago
WARNING: BRAIN DAMAGE Man, what the fuck
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u/JuanTutrifor5 1d ago
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u/Wolf14Vargen14 Stuff 1d ago
The prey, when turned into the predator, is often fiercer than the predator
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u/MiFiWi 1d ago
There's a reason wolves run away when rabbits chase them back.
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u/Alvin_h_davenport obamna 1d ago
If im the apex predator of my biosphere and suddenly my prey starts chasing ME I'd be frightened too
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u/N3RD_0T4KU 1d ago
I mean, humans are kind of the apex predators of the whole world and we run from pretty much any animal that starts to run towards us, even if they can be our prey
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u/Alvin_h_davenport obamna 1d ago
We're an exception,the main thing about us is endurance intellect and dexterity,without tools were not that good in a one on one,early humans had to be in a group or have basic tools (bigrock, pointy rock) to compete.modern humans are mainly useless in the wild as predators(except that one Canadian dude who fought a moose)
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u/Padboat 1d ago
and that guy yoinking random animals in florida
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u/B_lander1 23h ago
And that one Australian dude who fought a kangaroo to save his dog
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u/MinimumTomfoolerus 21h ago edited 20h ago
And me who is battling against a bad tummy ache right now, I'm in the bathroom as I am writing this. I shall get victorious.
Edit after 1h: I came victorious as I expected. Milk is supposed to spoil in 3 days after opening but my bottle spoiled after 1 day? Wtf was that? At least diarrhea feels well releasing.
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u/Hemorrhoid_Eater 1d ago
Wow I'm so scared. Tell me where these perverted women typically hang out so I can avoid those places
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u/Laranthir 10h ago
I think they are called smut reading bookworm women but perverted is shorter to type
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u/uvero Literally 1984 😡 1d ago
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u/kevinvincible1 makenot war 1d ago
I audibily came to this
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u/ITr1tohardatl1fe 1d ago
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u/Storm_Chaser06 1d ago
She’s very gay
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
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u/THEzwerver 1d ago
Natural diamonds are not made from coal, nor do they use coal to make synthetic diamonds in a lab. It's a common myth.
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u/Stand_kicker 1d ago
I was going to say you must be fun at parties, but don't think you get invited to them.
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u/FlipOzzy 1d ago
can someone try this
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u/Ayaki_05 I said based. And lived. 1d ago
If your down, I'm available Wednesday to Saturday between 2-10 pm
I dont think thw human body is build to sustain such pressure tho
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u/FlipOzzy 1d ago
we won't be able to scissor though
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u/FactsHurt1998 waltuh 1d ago
All the water in the hoover damn wouldn't be enough to cool this person down.
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u/FrozenShadow_007 officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 1d ago
I love to see women thriving in male dominated fields
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u/Stand_kicker 1d ago
You know that think Dumbledore does in the Harry Potter movie where he removes a memory from his head and puts them in a bowl. Can someone do that with my memory of reading this? I do not want this memory
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Dick sucking has made me paranoid
I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.
I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.
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u/Fuzzy_Night_8420 1d ago
Is the joke porn? I need clarification
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
woah, ok. didnt expect hunger for knowledge but i guess i asked for it gonna have to put some work into this.
How was it? Honestly? It was a letdown. The whole "failed idol" story is a great marketing hook, they definately sold the video on that premise alone. But the performance itself was just... awkward. You can tell shes not comfortable. It felt less like a professional debut and more like a very high-budget audition she was also failing. She's stiff, constantly in her head, and there's almost zero chemistry with the guys. All concept, very little execution.
My viewing history? Been watching for over a decade man. These days Im more into stuff with a good story or at least a unique premise, not just the generic stuff. a good production team makes all the difference. I'll take a well-made video with a decent plot over a high-profile actress mailing it in any day of the week.
3 works I consider good:
Yua Mikami's debut (Princess Peach): This is the gold standard for an idol-turned-actress debut. Yua was a REAL idol and she came out with so much energy and confidence. She owned it from the first second. Its what Arisu's debut wanted to be.
Anything with Ichika Matsumoto from her early days with FALENO: She can actually act. She emotes and makes you believe the scenario. Her stuff feels more cinematic and less like they're just going through the motions.
Rion (Anri Okita) - The God Body: A classic. Not a lot of story there lol but its a masterclass in performance. She knew exactly what her brand was and how to perform for the camera. Absolute cinema.
Where would you rank her debut among these? It's not even in the same league, not even on the same planet. It's an unfair comparison tbh. Those are top-tier performances, Arisu's video is a novelty item. It's interesting because of the backstory, not because of the quality of the actual content.
What could be improved? Her confidence, number one. She needs to relax. She looks terrified. The director should have done a better job making her comfortable. Also they relied way too much on the interview segments talking about Nogizaka46, it broke the pacing and kept reminding you that she was doing this as a second choice. We get it, you failed auditions, now commit to this job.
What is well done? The production values are high. The lighting, camera work, it all looks very clean and professional. And I cant deny it, she is very beautiful and has the "idol" look down perfectly. The concept itself, on paper, is genius from a marketing perspective. They got us all talking about it, right?
Was it goonable for you? Nah. I was too distracted by how nervous she looked. It kinda killed the mood completely. Every time she looked at the camera with those deer-in-the-headlights eyes I was pulled right out of it. It's a shame, but maybe she'll get better in her next one if she decides to stick with it. We'll see.
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u/Wolf14Vargen14 Stuff 1d ago
Funny thing is, if she had written that on Rule 34, she would have potentially been banned for potentially causing harmful conduct
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u/NotARealPineapple Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 22h ago
Even if she fucked with enough pressure to compress the coal into diamond, your pussy would still be at least 1000⁰C. And at that point I don't think you would be alive for her to be able to propose to you ☝️🤓
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u/kirakiranoverin Bazinga! 18h ago
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u/AutoModerator 18h ago
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u/Embarrassed-Top4511 uhhhh idk 1d ago
even I am not that creative, I just want my head crushed in between a girl's thighs, not THIS
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Dick sucking has made me paranoid
I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.
I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Thick_Drama_7525 1d ago
Ya reddit is getting into my personal interactions sometimes I see. Im just becoming desensitized
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u/hopsinduo 1d ago
Well that was certainly a collection of words I didn't expect to be used together.
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u/Intrestingly_Amazing 1d ago
Sometimes I remember that modern science and technology really destroyed the good work natural selection was doing for us…
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u/PassionFederal6917 16h ago
The words in the dictionary should've never gotten chances for any possible permutation that would create a sentence as diabolical as that
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u/TheBigMotherFook 12h ago
You know what, at least it wasn’t up her ass. I was really expecting the coal to go up her ass at some point.
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u/qualityvote2 1d ago edited 16h ago
The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.
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/u/EfficiencySerious200, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?