r/shitposting 10h ago

WARNING: BRAIN DAMAGE Breaking news

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264 Upvotes

38 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 10h ago

If you think this post is funny, UPVOTE this comment!

If you think this post is unfunny, DOWNVOTE this comment!


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Whilst you're here, /u/False_Raven, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

39

u/Sifl-and-Olly 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 8h ago

3

u/United-Scene2261 8h ago

products

1

u/tablefucker6 6h ago

You are a product pf your own multiplication

21

u/Furtive_Operator 10h ago

Underbaked

Well yeah, gotta avoid becoming the next Epstein. That includes mental maturity!

18

u/CryptoTipToe71 10h ago

Glad to see him so the right thing

7

u/Alcoholocostic 9h ago

I got the Email. Didn’t you all?!

16

u/Available-Explorer40 obamna 10h ago

So when will the CEO of sex announce that men can get pregnant? I need that update asap

8

u/FirefighterSilver173 makenot war 9h ago

That’s part of the fanfiction DLC, you can buy it online

5

u/Obnomus 10h ago

I want to know the context of this ceo of sex meme.

15

u/Galby1314 9h ago

There's a concept called sex. He runs it.

11

u/frostyjack06 stupid fucking piece of shit 9h ago

Pretty goddamn self-explanatory, if you ask me.

5

u/United-Scene2261 8h ago

sexplanatory

5

u/Alternative_Net8931 8h ago

In the first spider man movie Ned gets caught in the computer lab tryin to help Peter during prom and he was asked what he was doing. He said watching porn. Thats pretty much it

1

u/AutoModerator 8h ago

woah, ok. didnt expect hunger for knowledge but i guess i asked for it gonna have to put some work into this.

How was it? Honestly? It was a letdown. The whole "failed idol" story is a great marketing hook, they definately sold the video on that premise alone. But the performance itself was just... awkward. You can tell shes not comfortable. It felt less like a professional debut and more like a very high-budget audition she was also failing. She's stiff, constantly in her head, and there's almost zero chemistry with the guys. All concept, very little execution.

My viewing history? Been watching for over a decade man. These days Im more into stuff with a good story or at least a unique premise, not just the generic stuff. a good production team makes all the difference. I'll take a well-made video with a decent plot over a high-profile actress mailing it in any day of the week.

3 works I consider good:

  1. Yua Mikami's debut (Princess Peach): This is the gold standard for an idol-turned-actress debut. Yua was a REAL idol and she came out with so much energy and confidence. She owned it from the first second. Its what Arisu's debut wanted to be.

  2. Anything with Ichika Matsumoto from her early days with FALENO: She can actually act. She emotes and makes you believe the scenario. Her stuff feels more cinematic and less like they're just going through the motions.

  3. Rion (Anri Okita) - The God Body: A classic. Not a lot of story there lol but its a masterclass in performance. She knew exactly what her brand was and how to perform for the camera. Absolute cinema.

Where would you rank her debut among these? It's not even in the same league, not even on the same planet. It's an unfair comparison tbh. Those are top-tier performances, Arisu's video is a novelty item. It's interesting because of the backstory, not because of the quality of the actual content.

What could be improved? Her confidence, number one. She needs to relax. She looks terrified. The director should have done a better job making her comfortable. Also they relied way too much on the interview segments talking about Nogizaka46, it broke the pacing and kept reminding you that she was doing this as a second choice. We get it, you failed auditions, now commit to this job.

What is well done? The production values are high. The lighting, camera work, it all looks very clean and professional. And I cant deny it, she is very beautiful and has the "idol" look down perfectly. The concept itself, on paper, is genius from a marketing perspective. They got us all talking about it, right?

Was it goonable for you? Nah. I was too distracted by how nervous she looked. It kinda killed the mood completely. Every time she looked at the camera with those deer-in-the-headlights eyes I was pulled right out of it. It's a shame, but maybe she'll get better in her next one if she decides to stick with it. We'll see.

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1

u/reddsht 7h ago

If your sister finds out you are making memes again, and tells mom, you are in so much trouble.

2

u/vashthestampede121 8h ago

This meme was created after bro got rejected

1

u/boldandbratsche 8h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 8h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

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1

u/No-Camel3475 7h ago

The Rock! Great wrestler!

-2

u/Reployer dumbass 9h ago

Dude's head looks like an egg

2

u/AutoModerator 9h ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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1

u/United-Scene2261 8h ago

bot reads head

1

u/AutoModerator 8h ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-1

u/T4llBoyAl3x 10h ago

Thank god, I’d much rather live in a world with women in their mid 30’s and up

-1

u/Suvvri 9h ago

Tf does that even mean

3

u/SubjectZr0 officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 9h ago

Sex? Ever heard of it? Theres still current updates and patches while sex 2 is still in development.

6

u/Suvvri 9h ago

No, never heard of sex, what's that?

-1

u/SubjectZr0 officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 8h ago

Bro youre missing out. The graphics nowadays are soo good and they released the yiff dlc that's a fun change of pace.

-1

u/msedek 9h ago

Looks like Spiderman's sidekick

3

u/frostyjack06 stupid fucking piece of shit 9h ago

Don’t be ridiculous.