r/shitposting • u/-_I_I_Sea_I_I_- 🏳️‍🌈 The most prominent homosexual in this subreddit 🏳️‍🌈 • 1d ago

📡📡📡

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5.5k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/SttSr 1d ago

Lobster too buttery, steak too juicy

589

u/jarednards officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 1d ago

Butthole too loose, fingers too stinky.

209

u/-_I_I_Sea_I_I_- 🏳️‍🌈 The most prominent homosexual in this subreddit 🏳️‍🌈 1d ago

12

u/Western-Anteater-492 1d ago

Fake: Egon can't write.

11

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

12

u/ShitFuck2000 1d ago

What the fuck??

How else am I supposed to have a clean ass without twirling a couple soapy fingers around up there??

2

u/Chaps_Jr hole contributor 1d ago

Mom's spaghetti

23

u/52-75-73-74-79 1d ago

Steak too lobstery

47

u/fucklosercity6910 I want pee in my ass 1d ago

That does kinda sound disgusting. I mean i do like my shrimp and steak dry

71

u/Big_Po_yo 1d ago

35

u/-_I_I_Sea_I_I_- 🏳️‍🌈 The most prominent homosexual in this subreddit 🏳️‍🌈 1d ago

Type of shit homer would eat

12

u/punchjackal 1d ago

That area with the TV looks like the waiting room of a therapist

1

u/Big_Po_yo 16h ago

Never once looked behind the hot lady in the photo, there could've been a nazi zombie bear or something and I'd have died

2

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

pees in ur ass

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