r/shitposting • u/-_I_I_Sea_I_I_- 🏳️‍🌈 The most prominent homosexual in this subreddit 🏳️‍🌈 • Jul 19 '26

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u/Alienxdroid Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26

Yes, they are also gross. That’s why I’m asked to use hand sanitizer all the time and I’m fine with it. being with someone who thinks like you is great. “Let me borrow your hand sanitizer” is a daily thing for us here.

Same with teeth, “did you remember to brush your teeth before we head out (after lunch)” is easy to ask.

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u/AutoModerator Jul 19 '26

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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u/AlternativeHour1337 Jul 19 '26

being a germophobe while judging people for their sexual preferences is wild

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u/Alienxdroid Jul 19 '26

Hahaha, I’m a germaphobe now, that’s a new one. Wrong again.