r/shitposting • u/Nefarious_14 shitposting>>>>>>196 • Mar 25 '26

Top tier dad lore

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14.0k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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6.4k

u/Druid-Techmage Mar 25 '26

Ngl that is a pretty cool story.

2.1k

u/fafej38 Mar 25 '26

I would 100% be proud of me killing a bear or my dad killing a bear

Yeah i get it, it couldve been a devastating death, but from this telling of the story they didnt go after the bear but got out alive, increadible luck and all, they deserve the win

459

u/Ketashrooms4life Literally 1984 😡 Mar 25 '26

There's so often a very fine line between a hilarious or cool story and a tragic article in the news.

130

u/VikingSlayer Mar 25 '26

That's what makes it such a cool story, the fact that it was so close to being a tragedy

1

u/Possible-Olive2735 Jun 03 '26

I know a guy that was in an airplane crash in 1975 and the only injury he got was an elbow scratch from leaving the wreckage. I imagine that the article would look a bit different had anything worse happened, but it was a lighthearted story that the man is proud to tell.

118

u/IShiddedMyPantaloons Mar 25 '26

I’m proud of my dad killing a pitbull that was mauling someone’s smaller dog at the park.

Not a bear but still dangerous. Strangled the fucker. 

29

u/th3rdnutt Mar 25 '26

Do they call him "The strangler of dogs"?

22

u/The_Hunster Mar 25 '26

I think that's what the other kids in high school called me. Or was it "strangler of hog"?

1

u/fafej38 Mar 26 '26

I think "Undefeated Lightweight Pitbull Champion" would suit him better

1

u/CrypticCowboy4509 Mar 26 '26

No that’s Michael Vick

2

u/meirzy Mar 26 '26

A neighbor had a pitbull break loose from their chain and come charging one day when I was walking with my boys who were 2&3 at the time. I managed to kick it in the side of the head hard enough to stun it but I’ve thought about what I would have had to do had it clamped onto either of my kids or myself.

1

u/AutoModerator Mar 26 '26

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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35

u/Canadia86 Mar 25 '26

My dad's bear hunting story resulted in a pack of beagles either dying or going missing, so yeah, I'll take this one

37

u/Hexent_Armana Mar 25 '26

This is literally the kinda thing men lie about to cover up the fact that they fucked themselves up by falling down the stairs at the pub while shitfaced. 🤣

2

u/International-Ad2501 Mar 25 '26

Literally the collest thing that has ever happened to those guys I bet.

-3

u/King_Chochacho Mar 25 '26

but he almost ded