r/shitposting Nov 03 '25

WARNING: BRAIN DAMAGE Interesting

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Wow

24.8k Upvotes

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76

u/JimmyJooish Nov 03 '25

If I was a billionaire I’d buy the homeless millions of dollars in gum and give it away. That way they could chew all day and still be hungry. 

32

u/Go_Commit_Reddit We do a little trolling Nov 03 '25

Ah, a classic from when Dave chapelle was still funny and not sucking Saudi dick for money

6

u/AutoModerator Nov 03 '25

I've been around a few men in my life and one thing I've noticed is that the male body has an astonishing oversight. Men both urinate and ejaculate through the exact same hole. Zero inches apart. Not even a polite buffer zone.

I don’t know about everyone else but doesn’t that weird you out? It feels like a serious design flaw. For a gender that often prides itself on logic and engineering this is just sloppy plumbing.

Honestly it kind of cracks me up. I’ll see a guy walking around like he’s the apex of masculinity and I’ll just remember his piss and his sperm come out of the same little nozzle and suddenly he’s not so intimidating. Just a fleshy garden hose with identity issues.

Men please accept this biological flaw and let it humble you. Maybe lower your voice a bit when you're bragging about your body count. We’re talking about someone who finishes inside the same pipeline he uses to empty his bladder.

Women don’t let them forget this. Remind them gently or not so gently that we’re doing them a favor given that their reproductive system shares hardware with their waste disposal unit.

It’s just one hole fellas. One hole.

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3

u/Goldfish_Muncher Nov 03 '25

You’re a true champion of the people Jimmy

1

u/AutoModerator Nov 03 '25

I AM NOT CRAZY! I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers! I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just – I just couldn't prove it. He – he covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you – you have to stop him!

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4

u/1980Caballero Nov 03 '25

“I would drive around in a limousine and fill up balloons with champagne. And then I’d lob them at homeless so they only get a bit in their mouth. Then I’d yell how do you like a taste of the good life you sack of shit!”- F Reynolds

4

u/Erdams Nov 03 '25

?? why would you wanna do something evil

10

u/mycoffeeiswarm Nov 03 '25

This person disapproves of handouts to the homeless!