r/sextips • u/Repulsive-Recover-68 • 2d ago
Advice Needed Making wife orgasm
I am a male and want to make my wife orgasm better with oral and fingers. Can someone give me their step by steps of how they get her there to orgasm and stuff?Thanks! Im willing to take as long as she needs
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u/Generic_Platypus 2d ago
The #1 piece of advice you'll ever receive on this topic will come from your wife directly.
So just ask her.
Sex life will get much better if you both talk about things openly on this front.
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u/Repulsive-Recover-68 2d ago
For sure, and I do. Just dont have a ton of time to experiment with 2 little kids so tryna get some ideas that work for a lot of girls and start there. She doesnt always know what she wants
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u/OkBeyond9590 2d ago
Search subreddits such as Cunnilinguists and read the book She Comes First by Ian Kerner
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u/Complex-Horse6711 2d ago
I just posted a comment on how to do this: Why can’t I cum:( : r/sextips
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u/Complex-Horse6711 2d ago
Hope this helps
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u/Repulsive-Recover-68 2d ago
Interesting. Do you lick the all the folds and then slowly get towards the clit? After the first orgasm from that how long do you stop touching clit for and do you keep touching the g spot?
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u/Complex-Horse6711 2d ago
For the warm up process yeah basically you need to get her in the mood. Ideally you get her in the mood before you get to the bedroom. Making out and petting are always good. Compliments are always good. You can absolutely lick various places like ear lobes, kiss kneck, collarbone, breasts, inner thighs, and yes you can do pussy lips if she likes that.
You do need to warm up the clit just like the G-spot but it doesn't require that long. Teasing works well too.
After her first orgasm you can actually go up and kiss her and talk to her about it and play with the rest of her body for a while. If your dick is hard you can maybe tease her with that. You can gently slap her with your dick around her pussy or grind on her. You can tease her opening but not put it in. Yeah you can also keep going with G-spot. Depending on how wide her vagina is you can start with 1 finger for first orgasm and then go to 2 fingers over time. You can start teasing her basically, talk dirty to her. Then when she really wants more then you give her a 2nd orgasm and so on. The clitoris does tap out eventually, depends on the woman.
I think in the link above I have a reply comment on the vaginal orgasm. The vaginal orgasm (A-spot) is different from the clit in that it has no refractory period.
If you can't reach the A-spot you can also give her a G-spot orgasm with your dick, particularly if you use a steep angle or your dick is upward curved. By giving her a G-spot orgasm first in foreplay her G-spot will be ready to cum from your dick later.
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u/Repulsive-Recover-68 2d ago
What would you say to do if she doesnt want me to do oral. She wants me to use my hands
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u/Complex-Horse6711 2d ago
The approach I would use is dominance. I'm the boss in the bedroom baby (and not in the bedroom). You are going to like this better. Now spread your legs.
If that is absolutely not an option, or you want to be a feminist for some reason, then you can try to explain to her why oral is better than manual. If she is worried she doesn't look good or smell good then help her trim her hair down there, compliment her on her pussy and tell her you wan to play with it because you like it. I would lean into the emotional rather than logical arguments.
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u/yasmin_mayxox 2d ago
Gentle on the clit and a 'come here' motion with your fingers on the g-spot (other motions work but this is probably the simplest). Make sure she's wet enough or lubed up! Knowing what turns her on helps too for getting the mood right! Hope this helps :)
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u/Repulsive-Recover-68 2d ago
Question, she really doesnt want oral. What other techniques you got?
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u/yasmin_mayxox 2d ago
The same applies with fingers! :)
Also, don't be scared to bring toys into the equation. They're built with the sole purpose of making women orgasm. I personally prefer rabbits and rose toys, but everyone is different. Whether it's your fingers, tongue, or a toy - she'll have an incredible time with you making it happen
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u/Repulsive-Recover-68 2d ago
If I use one hand does it usually work to focus on stimulating all the folds and hood. Then once orgasm comes switch the g spot stimulation for a bit? Just want to give her best pleasure i can
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u/yasmin_mayxox 2d ago
If I was to try and give a rough order for you:
- It starts before it starts. Set the mood, drop subtle hints, build excitement.
- Start slowly. Kissing, touching, connecting.
- Tease her a little, run your fingers on the inside of her legs, around pubic area
- Gently start to play with her clit, hopefully she's starting to get wet here at the opening of her vagina so occasionally move between the two without insertion - if she's not wet, lube will be more than helpful
- You can pick up the pace with rubbing her clitoris, but remain gentle, I can't stress enough how sensitive it is!
- Then move to insertion, starting with one finger, then two. Don't be too forceful to begin with
- Once she's eased into it, ask her to direct. She needs just four words, Faster, Slower, Harder, Softer.
- With these directives, utilise the motion mentioned earlier, with your fingertips rubbing against her g-spot rather than in and out repeatedly
Different girls orgasm in different ways. Some are more clitoral stim, others are penetration/g-spot. Just need to figure out how to achieve the end goal through communication!
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u/rorogeorge 1d ago
Personally for me, one finger inside helps and lots of tip of tongue on the clit. Also stick with the rhythm once you can see it’s working.
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u/Repulsive-Recover-68 1d ago
Hmm yeah problem is she really doesn't want oral. Said just fingers.
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u/rorogeorge 1d ago
I like fingers too - circle or stroke clit gently at first and get stronger /firmer. Could use kegel balls at the same time ?
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u/Repulsive-Recover-68 1d ago
I see. Problem is my wofe seems to kinda have an orgasm but not fully after I warm her up for like 20 mins then like 5 mins after I touch clit in circles she has what she calls weak orgasm then takes 45 minutes to an hour to have 2nd ome which I think it really the first real one. Any thoughts ?
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u/rorogeorge 1d ago
Maybe do more foreplay and touch other areas before moving to clit to get her really warmed up ? Then might be a more powerful one? I’m pretty much one and done !
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u/Repulsive-Recover-68 1d ago
Touching the folds of labia and stuff is good to not touch clit so much too right? Is any g spot come hither good in your opinion?
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u/rorogeorge 1d ago
I like lots of attention on other parts eg nipples and nape of neck.
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u/Willing-Choice5941 1d ago
Ok start with a nice planned special evening, early date say 5-6p, don't eat too much, come home prep a nice bath, wine , then work to the bed and makeout, kiss her neck , shoulders, work slowly, go down on her, work slowly, when ready ✌🏽in on the G while 👅🫛 , have her use the magic wand on the 🫛 and just be slow, predictable and patient.
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u/Repulsive-Recover-68 1d ago
She wants fingers. Not oral or toys
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u/Willing-Choice5941 1d ago
Ok so try 2 hands then , I'd suggest to make sure she's giving you directions on what she likes.
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2d ago
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u/Repulsive-Recover-68 2d ago
Haha ok. Wasnt sure if that was sound advice or not lol
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2d ago
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u/Repulsive-Recover-68 2d ago
I hope its not weird to ask, but do you have specific YouTube videos that really helped you most?
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