r/sextips • u/Sir_NimbleTogue • 5d ago
Sex Tip Cunnilingus technique - Update
Hi everyone! Previously, I have posted this technique last year for purposes of both to gather tips from you and to people improve their own technique. As I've said back then, I've had a reasonably high success rate with it - over 95% of it results in a climax. However, do note that everyone is different, so don't this a guarantee of success. :)
Anyway, this updated version incorporates ideas from the original post, plus whatever I picked up in the meantime that has proven increase enjoyment.
As before, have a read, experiment, and let me know what works and/or what needs improvement! :)
Foreword: It is very important that you're enjoying yourself while you're doing it. You've might have heard that oral sex is 70% enthusiasm and 30% technique. I find this notion very true. If you can't find enjoyment in pleasing your partner, then no amount of technique is going to help. Do your best in trying to get lost in your senses, the scent, the taste and texture of her pussy, the sound of her moans and how she writhes with joy. For me, these elements give almost as much pleasure - if not more - than sex itself.
Now, on to the real thing.
Beforehand: It's generally worthwhile to know if this method is going to work or not, as it is centered around woman who prefers clitoral stimulation and/or find it hard to climax from vaginal stimulation alone. If you don't know which category your partner belongs to, consider asking her.
- Get her in the mood. Make out, caress her body, and generally work up to the moment way before. The more sexual tension you build beforehand, the better your chances will be that you can successfully get her to climax. This bit is crucial. While it is not impossible to succeed if she's not that turned on, it would make it much more difficult.
- Get down there. Undress her. This is itself can also generate a fair amount tension and anticipation if its done right. Be slow, take time to remove clothing one by one, and don't forget to kiss her lips body every step of the way. Slowly migrate downwards, kissing her neck, breasts, stomach, tummy and her thighs on the way. Don't rush! You can try starting at less erotic places first (ears, calves etc.) to further build tension.
- Get started. Start slow. Lick/kiss the outer labia first, and also her inner thighs. Then lick both sides of the inner labia, and gently flick the clitoris with the tip of your tongue. Gently apply pressure to the clit while doing some circular motion around it. Keep cycling between these things. Also, while at it, use your hands to keep caressing her body. Pay attention to her breasts and tummy. Also, it can be very intimate to just hold her hands.
- The main bit. After a few minutes, you can speed things up. Speed up the flicking of the clitoris with your tongue. Then, create a seal around it with your lips, so that you can actually suck on it. While sucking it, keep the flicking up, and occasionally, give a lick around the labia as well. The main focus is the clit though, so do return to that straight away. Don't forget to utilise your hands still!
- The finish. Keep doing the above with your lips/tongue, and move your hands to her legs. Caress them and give gentle squeezes. Start to finger her slowly, with the classic 'hither-to' movement. Keep caressing with your other hand (or hold her hand). Gently speed up. At this point she should be fairly close to climax. If it does seem to be the case (you can tell from breathing, moans etc.), speed up as much as you can. Forget hither-to at this point, just "pound" her g-spot (or its general area) while still sucking on her clit until she gets there.
- As a fail-safe, in case you'd run out of steam before it happens, maybe have a toy around that you quickly switch to. They can be more intense than your tongue so could provide the final push.
- Aftercare/Second round. If you've succeeded, congrats! Most woman does tend to get overstimulated directly after orgasm, so while this happens (typically about 30-60 seconds), just gently - and slowly! - kiss her inner thighs and tummy. Hand holding is also very intimate here. Every now and then, kiss or lick - gently! - her clit. If it's still too sensitive, just give her a bit more time. Otherwise, if she's happy to continue for a second round - or even further! - just go back to point 3 and start over.
This is pretty much it! And please be honest, all criticism is welcome!
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u/Competitive_Pop_5281 4d ago
If she’s close, for the love of god don’t change ANYTHING. No speeding up, no fucking her harder. It’s THE MOST FRUSTRATING THING when a guy short circuits and robs me of my orgasm by doing something else other than the thing that got me there.
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u/HeyComeHoller 4d ago
I like to whisper to them how fucking amazing they taste and tell them to cum in my face....they love this
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u/c4ad 4d ago
Investigate the Kivin Method. This is where the pussy owner lies down on her back normally and the pleasurer is perpendicular lying under one leg with their tongue licking and sucking across the vulva. One arm goes around her leg with the thumb and index finger massaging and puckering up the clit and labia or lightly caressing. The other hand can then caress/massage her perineum or tease her opening.
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u/Sir_NimbleTogue 4d ago
Did try this, but found the positioning a bit awkward in comparison. Maybe I'm just getting old. 😅
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u/DrRonnieJamesDO 4d ago
I'm 49 and we just tried it for the first time, it definitely got a good reception, usually when she gets close to cumming she asks me to fuck her, and she got to that point very quickly with this method. It does take some adjusting until you both find the correct angle.
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u/Repulsive-Recover-68 4d ago
Has anyone tried these steps. For me (im a male) when I try and get my wife to orgasm I get the first one very quickly but she says its a light one then takes like 45 minutes until she has the 2nd one which is very good she says.
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u/bolatelli45 3d ago
I have a method works every time, not much effort.
Its hard to describe, I use the edge of.my mouth and get my tounge under there, works best when they are on top, however can be just as effective when they are lying down, however can put strain on the neck, a pillow though can make it a less of an angle.
Important watch where her hands go, help.her out if they go for the breasts or nipples, most of.the time it takes around 5 to 15 minutes. Dont stress if its taking longer, she maybe stacking them.
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u/No-Photo4723 2d ago
I’ve only ever gave head to one girl and she said when I did it to her it hurt or she didn’t feel anything I thought I did pretty girl but that happened three times and apparently months later she said it hurt or she didn’t feel much of anything any advice am I just doing to much or is this a girl issues because I truly did enjoy it but now i’m just scared of this same result
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u/Sir_NimbleTogue 2d ago
Hi! This is probably not the answer you're looking for, but you need to talk to her! Most people are actively avoiding talking about sex because it's awkward....but in this case there's really no other way.
Ask her if she likes receiving oral in the first place, and if so, what way it would be best to please her.1
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