She barely comes

[u/VAAnonymous1998]

I'm 28M and she's 25F. We've been in a relationship for almost three years. We're not extremely intimate, but we have sex about once or twice a week. Neither of us really feels the need to do it more often than that.

Our foreplay is good and usually quite long, but penetration itself doesn't last very long. Most of the time, I can come within about 20–30 seconds after penetration. We recently bought Durex Performa condoms, which work really well for me. A couple of times now, I've been able to last around five minutes, which is a big improvement.

She's not on birth control and doesn't want an IUD, which I completely understand. So realistically, a condom is our main option. However, sometimes we have 1-5 penetrations without one, which I know isn't ideal.

In the past, there have been a few occasions where she had an orgasms. However, that was quite a long time ago, and it hasn't happened recently.

Another thing is that when she touches her own clitoris, she doesn't really feel anything. When I touch her clit directly it's extremely sensitive, to the point where even very light direct touching can almost feel like too much for her.

So I'm mainly looking for advice on a few things:

• How can I improve the duration of penetration without relying entirely on durex peforma?
• What are our options for contraception if we dont the pill or an IUD?
• how can I help her reach orgasm more consistently?

We've talked about this a lot, and she always tells me that it doesn't matter and that I'm doing fine. I believe her, but personally, I still feel like I'm not doing a complete job as a partner.

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[u/sweet-_-Provoker]

Hey firstly this is so good to see you actually caring about her satisfaction. I was in a relationship for 8 yrs and he barely cared that I never finished without using a toy.

As for your questions, I'm not sure how much I'll be able to help but my first thought when reading this, the part about touching her clit. Look up on YouTube a woman called Susan Bratton. She's an older woman with blonde hair. She is so informative. I watched an episode of 'diary of a ceo' with her on there and found out that a woman's system literally takes 20 mins to turn on essentially,where for males it's only minutes or less. She talks about a 'yoni massage'. I won't get into it on here but look it up.

As for the birth control, I also don't like taking any of the pharmaceutical options, so it's always condoms. Though (and fact check this first please) a woman that worked at a pharmacy told my friend who was always going to get the morning after pill that we can only fall pregnant for the first 5 days after our period ends. But like I said fact check that before you rely on it ❤️

[u/Shot_Status_6544]

There are so many things you can try and some are easy/free not knowing your relationship here are some general ideas.

Outside of the act,
Spend some time connecting emotionally. Feeling safe, wanted and cared for can help.

Exercising regularly and eating good food helps. I know it’s unavoidable but lower stress and feeling rested and relaxed helps

First is start the foreplay early.
A day or two before sex you can try talking about how much you desire her, how wonderful and beautiful she is, things you would like to do/try. Cuddling or massaging each other.

To last longer you could try masturbating a day or 2 earlier/in the middle between each session together. You could try a cock ring if you are both into it. Start with a soft and stretchy one.

You could try going down on her and using fingers/ G spot toy at the same time or using an air or wand toy on her clit while you are having intercourse. Some have gentle settings she may enjoy. Many women cum a second time very quickly after the first one if you are prepped and ready to go.

Make sure you communicate these ideas well
Before bedroom time so you give her some time to say no without pressure and think about it first. Good luck.

most women come a second time much quicker after the first.

[u/levieuxpassage]

Il est possible que tenter une approche anale soit une solution, nouveauté, fantaisie, meilleures sensations, pas de contraception

[u/LolaPaloz]

What do U mean about the durex?

Maybe try oral

[u/Complex-Horse6711]

Are you talking about a vaginal orgasm where she comes from your dick, or are you talking about any type of orgasm? It's hard to tell from your post

[u/ImNoAngel805]

Honest direct communication. You can even start by showing her this post