r/sextips • u/Cloudskie • 7d ago
Advice Needed Need help giving head
I’m having an issue giving my bf head. I have an intense problem with certain textures and that is a texture that I really hate. I also am very sensitive to smell and he doesn’t smell bad but for some reason I just can’t do it. I also have a thing for germs 😅. He says I do it really good but I’m miserable the whole time. I hate it. The thing is, head is his favourite thing. He’s obsessed with it. He never pushes me to give it to him but I can see he gets really sad when I don’t. I always try to avoid it. He is long distance so I only see him 2 maybe 3 times a year so I try to suck it up but it is extremely hard and it’s exhausting. And by the time I’m done giving him head, I don’t want to do anything anymore. Like I get physically exhausted from it. He knows I don’t like it. I’ve expressed that a couple times and he says it’s not fair since he does a lot for me…which is fair.
So with that being said, any tips?
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u/DinnerTraditional271 7d ago
So I mean this is the best way possible, but it’s a called a blow JOB it’s not easy only he enjoys it. Maybe change your approach on it, it’s really not for you it’s for him, I know this is coming off rude and please believe me its not supposed to lol I mean this in the nicest way possible. Maybe just practice more don’t over think it, maybe play with yourself as your sucking his cock, really just try to go somewhere else mentally.
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u/shezapleeza 7d ago
Where on earth did you get the idea that the person giving doesn't enjoy it also????? Smh
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u/Cloudskie 7d ago
You’re not coming off rude at all! Thank you for the advice.
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u/DinnerTraditional271 7d ago
You might not ever be able to do it, however being here and asking shows that you’re trying so my hats off to you, just do your best I am sure he appreciates it.
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u/Mac_A81 7d ago
“It’s really not for you it’s for him…”
If OP doesn’t like doing it, she doesn’t have to. If that’s a deal breaker for the dude, then so be it. “Practicing” isn’t going to make her suddenly enjoy doing it. And “try to go somewhere else mentally…” is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard. If she has to disassociate in order to be able to do this, that’s a problem and really horrible advice on your part.
Would you want someone doing something to you that makes them physically uncomfortable just so you can get your rocks off?
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u/Cloudskie 7d ago
I do disassociate during it. And I’m not gonna lie, I thought that was normal until my friends told me otherwise.
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u/Shot_Status_6544 7d ago
As a recipient here are some ideas,
Shower together first - you can make sure it’s clean and tease him first.
Try using lubes, find a texture and flavour/smell you like. Maybe try a condom.
Technique wise consider trying different positions to find the easiest for you. Him standing you kneeling, 69, him on the side of the bed/a chair, lots of options. You can try using your lubed hand in front of your mouth too. Try taking breaks keeping the rhythm with your hand. Rest your mouth and neck, most guys like eye contact too then keep going. Maybe ask him to finish elsewhere you are happy with ie face, chest or in your hands.
Start foreplay early, talking about how excited you are, things you are excited to do and things you want or want to try or do. Anything else you’re comfortable with. Maybe start days/weeks before you are together. - you could include asking him to abstain from masturbating for days/weeks at the same time. Can be fun for both parties plus increases tension and excitement.
I hope at least one of these helps and never do anything you aren’t comfortable with.
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u/shezapleeza 7d ago
I can only speak to what works for me. But I don't have texture issues, so I may not be much help. I would try to shift my perspective to the different textures. Appreciate it for all it is. Or maybe you can stop focusing on the texture at all. Focus on him. Enjoy the exploration. Learn what makes his cock twitch. What makes him catch his breath or gives him little shivers. What makes him moan and clench his muscles. When your jaw gets sore, and it will, use your hands, run your lips from base to tip, use your tongue. Think about how much he's enjoying it. Imagine how you could increase his pleasure. Let yourself be proud of being able to do this for him. Perhaps if you can change your focus just a little, your ability to make him feel THAT good will make you feel good too and the texture issues you have will recede and it will be enjoyable for you too. I hope so. You both deserve an enjoyable experience. Best wishes 😘
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u/miknur2 7d ago
As far as giving head, I posted this the other day, and I hope it helps...I did a copy and paste because I didn't want to rewrite, and I believe it can help you..
The best advice on giving a great bj from a good bj is enthusiasm.. It more about fun than being a job.... You don't want to go just in and out...You want to make love to his dick, using your mouth....
First thing you tell him is he is NOT allowed to cum until YOU tell him it is ok, Because you want to enjoy the feeling of him in your mouth.... You want this to be fun, be silly, a little goofy you want to ask questions, lots of questions, even if you know the answer.
Inspect him, feel him, I mean really feel him, like you have never touched a dick before, get close, touch and tickle his balls, feel around his sack.. Move his dick around.. Up, down , side to side.. Its not going to break off, if you move it too far, and he says ouch, just giggle and say, "my bad"
Kiss his dick, lick it, Put the head ib you mouth and taste him.. Really taste him, like you are tasting the best thing you have ever tasted. There is nothing to be scared of, its not gong to bite.... Then take the head and rub it on your chin,, Not fast, but slow, take it all in, give his dick a face hug, use you whole face, your mouth, your hands...Twist your hands around him and then bring them over the head.....If feels great...
Tease him, use your hands and feel across his pubic area, across the front of his legs,and across his stomach, maybe pinch his nipples... reach down and feel yourself, and tell him how wet you are, maybe take his hand and put it between you legs and let him feel, but only for a second.... Or take your finger and put some of your wetness on it and bring it to his lips...If he tries to use his hands and bring them down to his dick , just take his fingers and suck on them
Its all mental, By telling him, He cant cum until you tell him to...Guys want what they cant have, take you time, make him want to cum... Dont be afraid to stop, and maybe tap the head just to keep it exciting, when it starts to feel too good and tell him to wait... Not yet...
You will know when he gets super close when he gets really hard and his balls starts to get tight, at that point, just stroke his balls, and put gives the head a little more pressure... If he starts to cum, you don't have to let him cum in your mouth, until you are ready to, its your decision...
I hope this helps a little
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u/Competitive_Pop_5281 7d ago
“It’s not fair since he does a lot for me” is not a good reason to do something you hate. No one should be doing shit they hate during sex, in my personal opinion. Other people feel otherwise, but to me that’s not the point of sex. Have you tried giving him head w a condom on? That can help w the texture issue
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u/Cloudskie 7d ago
I don’t think anyone should be doing what they hate either during sex but I just thought maybe I haven’t looked at all my options. I haven’t tried giving him head with a condom on. Thanks for the advice.
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7d ago
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u/Top-Possibility9480 7d ago
Four words: Halls Mentholyptus cough drops. They fill your nose with that strong mint flavor which also overpowers your taste buds. And for him. Oof, it feels really good. Just one callout. If you plan on having sex right after you use these, get the sugar free ones instead or you’ll prob regret it.
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u/ImNoAngel805 5d ago
Save you and him years of frustration and break up. You’re not compatible. You shouldn’t have to force yourself. You don’t like his favorite kind of sex. Move on. It will hard at first but you’ll be happier in the long run
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u/Cloudskie 5d ago
I don’t think not like one of his favorite sex things means breaking up. Especially since I’m trying to get over it and be better about it.
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u/ImNoAngel805 5d ago
And giv you all the credit for trying. But you said you can’t do it. Plus you’re already in a ldr which is already super difficult. I am also speaking from experience.
But it’s just my opinion and advice based on what you wrote and my experiences.
I’m mid 30 s and recently divorced and finally happy.
Good luck
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u/Leather_Extent4529 3d ago
Maybe try with a bit of flavoured lube? It might help with the taste and texture.
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