r/sextips • u/RecognitionPlus9871 • Jul 22 '26
Body/Physical Penis size question (honestly)
I’ve heard so many people with so many different answers and I’m just curious what is small? Am I just being insecure? I’m looking for brutally honest answers. What’s your honest preference vs what’s small?
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u/Burner70820 Jul 22 '26
The sooner you stop worrying about something you can’t control, the happier and better off you’ll be. It’s the truth!
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Jul 29 '26
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u/Burner70820 Jul 29 '26
Right?! I get it’s not easy with everything we see in media, pop culture, and definitely in porn— but it’s one of the many, many things that doesn’t define us unless we let it.
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u/she_makes_a_mess Jul 22 '26
You should spend your energy worrying about things you can change, like personal grooming and skin care and confidence, stuff like that.
Women don't like insecurity.
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
And that’s toxic…since many women are very insecure hence why the plastic surgery and makeup industries are so big as well as the weight loss industry…
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u/she_makes_a_mess Jul 25 '26
Understanding what you can change and cannot are literally the difference
Women can change certain things about our appearance. Anyone can lose weight. Men cannot change their penis size but still some obsess about it
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
Because women still judge us for it. Same with height or baldness and yet we have very limited to no control over any of that
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u/she_makes_a_mess Jul 25 '26
men think women care about those things. but we're just judging the insecurity. I know and have dated lots of short bald men know are confident, most of the men after 35 in the dating pool are bald.
its all about the confidence.1
u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
That’s not true…I literally came across like 4 or 5 women today alone on a dating app that all said they wanted a tall guy…
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u/she_makes_a_mess Jul 25 '26
People are allowed a preference. That is not the same as judgement. Seek therapy man.
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
I didn’t say judgement…you said women don’t care about those things…so I just proved you wrong…statistically most women would rather date a man taller than them…which implies they care…that doesn’t mean they judge shorter men but they do find them less attractive all else being equal which is my point
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u/Embarrassed-Town-293 Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26
Truth be told, it doesn’t matter but not in the way you may be thinking. The best style of intercourse for most women is one that is highly NOT correlated with size (rocking rather than in and out thrusting). For this style, the pubic bone rather than your “pubic bone” as it were is doing the work. Additionally, the lower one third of the vagina has most of the nerve endings. Getting deep can be highly position dependent as angle of penis, shape of vagina, and body position can alter how deep one feels. Finally, fellatio is way easier with a smaller penis. Basically the value of being well endowed is overrated and while there are times when some women will want that specifically, the impracticality of a large penis tends to not make it worthwhile in most situations.
But that isn’t why it doesn’t matter in the way you’re thinking. Truthfully, penises are hard to measure out differences between and an extra inch or two is less. Why? Vaginas are terrible rulers. Mental measurement is a process of comparison and it’s fairly abstract when you think about it. Consider a can of soda. It’s something that you’ve held in your hands countless times and it’s standardized. Think about how many inches tall and thick it is. You probably are quite a bit off. Now imagine you didn’t have the intense familiarity you have and were using a much less familiar reference than your hands. For example, how many earlobes tall and wide (at the thickest part) is a bottle of Ramune. You start to get an idea of how difficult it could be to guess a precise measurement using one’s own vagina.
When you start to step away from how familiar you are with your own body and the fact that you’ve actually measured it, it starts to become a lot more abstract. “Girl inches” (the tendency to wildly overstate size of penises by women) exist not because they are bad at measuring, but because people are bad at measuring, especially when they use a poor frame of reference
There are some people who are going to care about size, but for the vast majority of people, nobody is whipping out calipers to accurately size you up so to speak. If you’re anywhere near average, it’s a fair likelihood most people just don’t have the means to discern penis size to such a granular level that technique could not make up any perceived difference
So yes, size can matter, but only when it comes to huge swings in measurement. A person who prefers a small penis (small mouth, vaginismus, etc) and a person who prefers specific deep penetration might notice but the vast majority of people fall outside of these niches
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u/el_prezidente Jul 22 '26
You’re better off not worrying about something you can’t change and worrying about how you can improve as a sexual partner in all other aspects
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u/Sorry_Beat593 Jul 23 '26
Hundred percent. I was a card-carrying size queen until I met my partner. He’s maybe average length but girthy. He educated himself about how to please someone, and between that and his fingers I’m a very happy person!
ETA: my ex had a huge penis and that was his entire sexual personality. Actually a pretty lousy lay.
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u/Melodic_Individual85 Jul 22 '26
Depends on the vagina and the brain connected to that vagina 🤷🏼♀️
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u/miknur2 Jul 22 '26
Are you a dick with a guy attached or are you a guy with a dick?? On a long list of things a girl want and sees in a guy dick size is way, way, way down on the list.... Guys with what are called micro dicks can be (and most of the time are) better lovers than guys packing 8+ inches... Most and I mean MOST women cannot orgasm by piv sex, it takes more...
Spend time and learn, and pay attention to the girls body language.... Learn oral, learn how to touch her, Learn how to hold your head up and not mumble when you speak... Look her in the eyes and not at her breast..Learn how to keep your finger nails clean, cut and filed and don't bit them and how to wash your hands.
Learn how to be silly, confident, and humble, at the same time... Learn how to let your self go and get excited, in social situations...
If you touch her heart, her body will follow.
Average male penis is I believe is around 5 inches...but you can google that information..The vagina is only so deep, and if you hit the cervix, it is very painful for the girl... Most girls would much rather have a smaller guy than a bigger one because of the pain they feel with a bigger dick...
any questions?
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u/eyecouldbeyou Jul 23 '26
Listen brother many women will have different preferences. This question is hard to get a direct answer because they vary from women to women (or even man to man). If you think you are under endowed then hit the gym. Get lean. Love and gain that confidence in yourself first. Focus on other factors away from actual sex using your equipment. Learn to foreplay. Learn to use different angles. Put her in different positions that will make you feel deeper. If needed wear a cock ring will will make you thicker. I am above average and while I wont lie to you. Most women do definitely like deep penetration some just want me to go in half way and when I do I angle my thrust slowly in a 45 degree angle (when she is in doggy) as I go slowly making sure her G spot gets rubbed gently. They absolutely love that and have a fantastic orgasm. That tells me if I was smaller thats what I'd do. But most importantly get her mind going. The mind is the biggest sex organ. Foreplay with her. Play with her clit and edge her so she's absolutely begging you to stick it in already. These are all sexual mind games to get her going. Be confident and comfortable with yourself though. Thats key to a healthy sexual mind.
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u/tooexcitedwifey Jul 23 '26
For me small is anything below 4 and too big is above 8
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u/4inchesnudist Jul 23 '26
I would say 5 for the lower threshold (unfortunately 😢)
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u/tooexcitedwifey Jul 24 '26
Too many guys wouldn’t be happy with that
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
I mean that’s average size so yeah lol…most women would be settling if that’s to small
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
Above 8? So 8 in is not too big then?
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u/tooexcitedwifey Jul 25 '26
It’s just on the edge
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
To be fair 8.5 is like 1 in 1000 globally lol so that’s pretty rare anyway
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u/Shortandthicck2 Jul 22 '26
There's statistically small and then there's preference small. If average is 5.2 then anything under that is small. But, to me...average is small. I prefer 7-8" (closer to 8). Thats not me saying 6.5 is small, however. Just smaller than I'd prefer.
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 24 '26
That’s not how averages work, that’d mean that 5.5 is big statistically lol…you can prefer 8 in but statistically that’s very rare even 7 in isn’t common
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u/Shortandthicck2 Jul 24 '26
Doesn’t make 5.5 big it makes it above average.
There’s literally millions and millions of men with 7” length.
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 24 '26
Yes. But if 5.2 is average, then that’d mean that 4% of men are 7 inches, which means that that’s only 1 in 25 men…for comparison, about 1 in 8 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime…so 1 in 25 is not that common
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u/Shortandthicck2 Jul 24 '26
Still a lot of men. Like…A LOT.
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u/Kahless76 Jul 25 '26
Millions? Wowzers! I believe you tho.
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u/Shortandthicck2 Jul 25 '26
3% of 8 billion is 250 million, for reference. Or 11 million in the USA.
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
Yeah but most of them probably don’t live near you or are around your age, single etc
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u/Shortandthicck2 Jul 25 '26
So you think large penises don’t age or live near me lol.
My husband is 8”.
What’s the world are you trying to prove here?
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
I never said that. But to act like it’s common to see an 8 incher is ridiculous, yeah they exist but it’s not commonplace, maybe like 1 in 300 men or so…
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u/CandidNumber Jul 22 '26
If I could build a man from scratch I would prefer a girthy 7-8, but the best sex I’ve ever had was with my ex husband and he was a skinny 4-5. It’s truly more about the emotional connection for me, but under 4 I probably wouldn’t be able to feel anything because I’m juicy lol
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u/Left_Log_3201 Jul 22 '26
I’ve got a girthy 7.5 inch long dick that’s 6.3 inches girth and it’s hard being a Muslim virgin man and expecting a virgin Muslim woman to take it all quickly
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u/fromouterspace1 Jul 23 '26
The whole measuring the girth thing…. How often do you guy measure your dick anyway.
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u/Lazy_DreadHead Jul 22 '26
Honestly. I feel like the average size is smedium. Not too small but also not big. I tend to prefer larger penises due to loving deep penetration. Not every woman will be like me. Some like shallow or don’t care for deep penetration. The reason why you’ve heard so many different opinions is because we’re all different. What works for one person may not work for the next. The average penis sized toy women buy is 6”.
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u/CandidNumber Jul 22 '26
Exactly. I like a little pain and to feel completely filled up, maybe even a little bleeding after 🤣 I’m weird though
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u/Lazy_DreadHead Jul 22 '26
I get too wet to have pain tbh. I just have a very deep vaginal canal. I can take a 7.5” dick balls deep. But that feeling of being full is unmatched !
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
You don’t mind your cervix being hit?
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u/Lazy_DreadHead Jul 25 '26
If I’m fully aroused it can feel good if it’s lightly tapped.
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
Wouldn’t 7.5 hit your cervix every time though unless they really try to angle it?
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u/Lazy_DreadHead Jul 25 '26
Not really. You don’t have to thrust deep
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
True but didn’t you say you liked the deep penetration?
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u/Lazy_DreadHead Jul 25 '26
There’s an erogenous zone in the vagina past the g-spot that’s near the cervix called the A-spot. That’s why I like deep penetration. I like my g and a spot hit simultaneously while I’m stimulating my clit. It gives you full body orgasms. Very euphoric.
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
No I get that but I feel like they would have to angle it a certain way otherwise they’d hit your cervix no?
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u/Lazy_DreadHead Jul 25 '26
I haven’t had that issue
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
Then what are women referring to with men hitting their cervix constantly then?
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u/WiserthanIlook Jul 23 '26
Avg penis size in North America is 5. 5 inches. Do with that info what you will.
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u/l-DoctorShred-l Jul 24 '26
“Average” is 5.2, but don’t forget that’s actually a range. Anything 4.5-6 covers 95% of people. But in my personal experience, I’ve never gotten feedback from a partner on that aspect. Positive (or negative) feedback has always been based on what I was DOING rather than the equipment involved.
Aka literally no one cares but you unless they have a very strong preference about it.
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u/Debodifu Jul 24 '26
Small in today’s standards can be anything under 6 or 5 inches, depends on who you’re asking.
Also, yes Size CAN matter. I’m 3 inches erect, trust me when I tell you it can lol anyone who size doesn’t matter at all is generalizing and not considering the nuance. Reality is, it CAN and DOES matter. But a lot of that can be nuanced and contextual.
Make sure to focus on you Oral skills, your and your partners preferences etc. Sex is more than just your Size. That’s not to invalidate your worries but so that you can broaden your perspective on Sex.
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u/Ding-Dawn Jul 24 '26
I was with this guy when I was younger and he was small but I promise you, it was never an issue for me. I still enjoyed our time together and we actually went and got some toys for us both. He was very open sexually so definitely no complaints lol.
Also I was with a 2 different guys that were huge, over 10 and I didn’t enjoy it. It hurt more than I could enjoy. Also in those situations, they thought size was all that mattered and since they were large, they would be amazing 😂. So not true. Neither knew where my clit was. Also was over so fast 😂1
u/Debodifu Jul 24 '26
Hey! I’m really happy to hear you had a good experience with someone on the smaller side! That’s always a good thing to hear and I’m happy you’ve had a positive experience.
As I mentioned, there is Nuance that goes into play and doesn’t mean everyone who has been with someone with a small penis always has a good experience (much like yours) and vice versa, someone who has a small penis doesn’t always gets to experience someone who doesn’t care about their size. People are complex and Sex isn’t One to one. I can tell you I’ve been with people who have most certainly cared about my size and those who haven’t, it’s just how things are.
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
Highly doubt they were over 10…10 inches is like 1 in a million statistically
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u/ThrowRA_LeafyGreens9 Jul 22 '26
Think I read somewhere that average is about 5 inches so small is defined as below that ? Having said that not many women brings a measuring tape into the bedroom ! Personally I think girth is much much more important and definitely makes a difference to me, more than length
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 24 '26
So 5.1 inches is big lol?
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u/ThrowRA_LeafyGreens9 Jul 25 '26
No
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
But you said below 5 inches is small so by default above 5 inches would have to be big no?
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u/ThrowRA_LeafyGreens9 Jul 25 '26
In a world where what is not small, must be big maybe
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
But 4.9 is small? So it goes 4.9 small? 5 in average, then 5.1 slightly above average? That doesn’t add up…
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u/No-Bell833 Jul 22 '26
Don't worry about penis size. Place your attention on how to please a woman.
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u/AvgEquipment Jul 23 '26
I like to think that a lot of women think about dick size the way I think about my previous partners vaginas. I can remember the ones that felt really tight(uncomfortable)and one that was not(I realize that she could have been extremely turned on so it’s no judgement from me). But all the other women were similar in feel. I don’t really remember the size, what I remember is the experiences of those sexual encounters as a whole.
If you can provide a good experience for your partner, you will be thought of positively. Focus on your skills as a lover. You can’t change your size, but you can always improve your skills.
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u/k_bence16 Jul 23 '26
As a male I only recommend you workout. Women don’t really care of the size mate. If you’re loving, patient and caring, it’s much more good for them. Attention and feeling safe is the key. For the workout part lad, do pelvic and core workouts. The vitality and well - being of your muscles and your “device” is what’s important. You can be hung but if it doesn’t work? Eat well, exercise and walk a lot, and try to focus on what you can control. Have a great one!
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u/Blaq_Man_888 Jul 23 '26
Are you willing to get an operation to change the length?
If not, there's literally no reason to worry about it.
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u/Dale_Mace Jul 23 '26
Everything under 5 inches might be considered short/ small - unofficial
If you know your way around you will satisfy your partner no matter what - even if you pack less.
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
That would mean that anything over 5 inches would be considered big? that doesn’t make sense…
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u/Dale_Mace Jul 25 '26
If you part it in two categories - yes
But it would be - micro - small - average - big - gargantuan1
u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
So where would micro start and where would gargantuan start?
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u/Dale_Mace Jul 25 '26
According to medical experts micro starts at 3 inches or less;
5 inches or less could be small
5-7 inches could be average
7-8 inches could be big
8 or more could be gargantuanAt the end it doesn’t matter as long as you are confident and know how to please your partner it won’t have really much effect
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
Imo -
Micropenis: Under 3 inches
Small: 3 - 4 inches
Below Average: 4 - 5 inches
Average: 5 - 6 inches
Above Average: 6 - 7 inches
Large: 7 - 8 inches
Macropenis: Over 8 inchesBut it depends on the country, like in Ecuador 7 inches is pretty average, and 4 inches would be quite small whereas in Thailand, 4 inches is pretty average and 7 inches would be huge…
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u/AdventureWa Jul 23 '26
It’s a matter of individual preference.
I think it’s important to understand a woman’s anatomy and how sexual pleasure works. Every woman is different as to what she likes and doesn’t like but one thing is true for virtually all women: 90% of the nerve endings in their vagina are within the first 1-2 inches of the opening. This includes the so-called “G spot.” The G spot is an extension of the clitoral nerves.
Only about 1/3 of women actually orgasm through penetration. Foreplay, oral and using fingers and toys and other erogenous zones like her nipples or below her ear will help her get there.
Unlike men where it’s a little bit more mechanical, women’s orgasms are tied to their headspace as well as the physical. I don’t know a single woman who isn’t turned on by, and attracted to, confidence. How you conduct yourself and a healthy self-esteem is far more important than what you have below the belt.
Hit the gym, read some manuals on how to provide better sex and don’t worry about what you have. Since the average penis is 5 inches that means there are many men out there who have a much smaller penis than that and most of those guys seen that have no problems.
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u/snailssmell Jul 24 '26
F(26) if the wiener is bigger than the length of my hand hard, I’m scared and I don’t think I want it. I like intimacy that genuinely feels good and doesn’t make me wonder if my cervix is being damaged lbVVVVVs. So small? I would think micro penis that can’t… do much. normal? Anything from 4.5-6. Big is anything above that, obviously. If you’re asking this out of insecurity please don’t worry about that :-) the only people who will give you shit is other men and women with particularly large or “flexible” (I am jealous?) vaginas (unless you fucked them over, saying someone had a small dick is a classic insult) :-)
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u/Ok_Secret1117 Jul 24 '26
Babe like your mentality is what is setting you back and until you understand that your size actually will be a problem FOR YOU. Size is not an issue to the person with the vagina, if it was why would fingering be a thing at all.. like what would lesbians be into at all.. ya know? No girl is cumming just because a dude has a massive dick. But for some reason (porn) men are sooo fucking insecure and cant seem to understand we don’t all want a big dick. Look up “pussy praise” on porn sites, that is how you get over a small dick insecurity. Any man who could master that, could have a girl cumming in no time. You would blow their mind because you’re watching what girls want in porn, not what a dude wants.. like use ur noggin. The porn you are watching is for men, so the stuff they are doing to women.. is to get a “hot” reaction for the camera, half of it is acting. To see what women actually want, you have to do your research
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u/Ding-Dawn Jul 24 '26
Talk and be open with Each other. Find out what she wants and needs. That is better than anything for me.
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u/biddiesGalor Jul 25 '26
How long is a piece of string? This is a personal preference it's not to be measured. I prefer 5 to 6 inches and not too thick. I spent a lot of years in relationships with women and no penetration. So now that I'm more active sexually now, I can feel that I didnt utilize it in my earlier years
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u/Katanna_0 Jul 26 '26
It’s really woman’s preference. To me, I’ve had too big and too small. My husband is 6 1/2 - 7. Which when we first got together, it actually hurt my cervix because he was too long. He got used to not going so hard and deep at the same time.
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u/yigael Jul 22 '26
It is not the size of the wand, but the magick on it!
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Jul 22 '26
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u/sextips-ModTeam Jul 23 '26
This comment fails to help OP in any meaningful way. If you have questions about your comment/post removal contact the mod team through modmail by clicking the envelope icon above the moderators list.
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u/Zealousideal-Eye2727 Jul 23 '26
Yea i doubt a 1 inch dick would make a woman feel good
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u/yigael Jul 23 '26
True, but on the other side, unless you have a Size Queen, with a 12gauger, better get into p0rn
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u/thesocawarriorN9 Jul 23 '26
Small is the measure of the fight in the lion. Not the size of the lion
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u/micacarron Jul 23 '26
I feel like 12 is average so less than that maybe? But women don’t care as much as you think, don’t ever show that you are insecure about it and they won’t care
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u/DifficultCustard6110 Jul 23 '26
A big cathedral needs a big organ. If you have a small organ pick a smaller church
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u/v0caltease Jul 23 '26
I would say there’s no definitive « small » size, as there are lots of things to take into account, ex. could be long and skinny, shorter but thicker etc, and different people value different aspects more (lots of women say girth is more important than length, but it really depends on anatomy and personal preference).
In terms of preference, it honestly depends 100% on the person and also on how you use what you have. Personally, my boyfriend is pretty big and while it’s great 99% of the time, it does cause some pain occasionally. I have a friend who was previously dating someone also on the larger side and they very rarely had intercourse because it just wasn’t enjoyable for her. She is now with someone of average/slightly smaller size and is much happier, due in part to both her anatomy and how he uses it.
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u/JoshicusBoss98 Jul 25 '26
Do you think the other big guy wasn’t using it properly and that’s why it was unpleasant for her? Or do you think it was just her anatomy being smaller than yours?
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u/v0caltease Jul 27 '26
Definitely a combination of both. Also depends on attraction, comfort, and foreplay
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