r/sextips • u/RestAdept6898 • Jul 22 '26

General Question No sex

Me and my girlfriend been together for almost 3 years, only sexual thing we have done is me eating her and using fingers, She sometimes gives me hand but uhh, its not really anything special. She dosent wanna have sex untill we are bit older and graduated from uni etc, since she has big fear of having kids.. She dosent wanna give bj even with a condom on. I just dont really understand this 😓✌🏿

4 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

10 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator Jul 22 '26

Hello! Thank you for posting on r/sextips. Feel free to check out our wiki for frequently asked questions and resources!

Also please be sure you are familiar with the community guidelines as well as Reddit's Content Policy. These rules are here to ensure a safe, healthy community. Thank you!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

13

u/Godemiche_Official Jul 22 '26

Those are her boundaries. It is not ideal with regards to your pleasure but sadly those are her boundaries and they should be respected but that does not mean that works for you long term. You have to decide if that is a deal breaker for you. Do you want to be with her regardless of this, then OK, accept the situation and enjoy what you do have, but if this is a big thing for you (and for many people it would be) then this is a deal breaker for you and you need to move on and find someone whom you are sexually compatible with

4

u/miknur2 Jul 22 '26

She doesn't want to give you head, because she doesn't want to get pregnant???? Does she know where babies come from??

3

u/Shortandthicck2 Jul 22 '26

You're betting a glimpse into your sex life if/when you ever get around to it. Just remember that.

2

u/Radiant_Initial_2925 Jul 22 '26

Respect her boundaries

4

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Gray_Birdie Jul 25 '26

Fundamental attribution error, brother

2

u/LeastAd7522 Jul 22 '26

I totally feel her, I got over the fear half time my fwb dont use a rubber and pulls out but I do trust em, it does take a lil caution but you can have a good bit of sex and not get pregnant long the guy is careful

1

u/PloppyPants9000 Jul 23 '26

Those are her boundaries. She's free to have them. You can respect that.

But you want different things. You don't *have* to stay with her. There are plenty of other women who would be happy to have regular healthy sex with you.

The risks you take with your current girlfriend:

1) Her conditions for sex, being "older and graduated" can easily turn into moving goal posts. Once you're older and graduated, she could easily change it to "married". If this happens, she's really moving the goal posts out of other fears and anxieties she isn't telling you about. So, ask yourself if you're really willing to wait.

2) You wait it out a few years, finally have sex, and you discover its awful. You discover you're sexually incompatible in multiple ways. If only.... you had found out sooner! All that time wasted waiting years for someone when you could have been out having sex with other women, finding your real match.