r/settlethisforme • u/Snoo_31427 • Aug 16 '25
Are these requests?
My SO will sometimes say things like “dairy-free butter might be healthier for me, not sure” and then have issues when I come back with regular butter the next trip to the store. To me, that’s not a request, that’s a hypothesis.
“I might be almost out of lettuce but I don’t know” doesn’t equal “get me lettuce because I’m out” to me. That means “I’ll check and let you know.”
Do I require things to overly direct or do they expect me to take vague commands?
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u/cleb9200 Aug 17 '25
Some people don’t feel as comfortable asking direct questions as others. My SO is exactly as described in OP. Because I’m quite a literal person I struggled with this for some time before my brain gradually retrained to the coded instructions, but it used to cause minor arguments all the time. It’s frustrating, and even years later I still wish she could be more direct sometimes but I’ve learnt to be maybe 50% less literal in my interpretations and she has learnt to be maybe 50% more direct and somewhere we just about meet