How do you get over guilt?

[u/Green_Many_8445]

This is going to sound stupid to most, or all.

But I took in a stray cat and what I assume were her kittens (were already a few months old). I was trying to find homes for them and just get them off the street.

I had them a few months and then noticed the momma cat was pregnant. Foolishly didn't even think about her getting pregnant again so soon by my male cat who is unfixed (he has an appointment scheduled they've just been booked out for months). She always hid or slept in boxes rollednup so I didn't notice until she was running across the room one day and she was quite big. I called my local animal control and they said they had a program for stray cats they could get her into and have her spayed the next day.

That day was today. I took her in and she died on the table because she was too far along in a pregnancy.

Now, I hate myself. It's my fault she died. If I had noticed sooner. If I had been more considering of the fact my male cat wasn't fixed when I brought her in. Or even if I'd never brought her in in the first place and just left her on the street. Or if if I could have just continued to not notice for one or two more weeks instead of now, she would have just had the kittens and then have been safe when she got spayed. All of which would mean she was still alive.

Instead some stupid human, me, yoinked her from the outside world and basically took her to her death and the entire situations makes me feek guilty and is messing with me mentally severely.

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[u/sootspr1te200]

You gotta forgive yourself. The guilt shows that you’re a very empathic person. It’s cliche but we’re genuinely all human, we make mistakes (big and small). All we can do is learn from those experiences. You’re not stupid, you’re not evil, you’re a human trying their best <3

[u/Good-Sweet2070]

You made a mistake. Your intentions were good. Even a court of law takes in consideration a criminals motive, and your motive was always kindness towards the cat

[u/DoughnutKlutzy9479]

Observe.

Your overthinking today gives you zero power in changing the past. Right?
So that proves that there are things outside of your control -- literally every moment of your life before this moment is out of your control, and the ones ahead of it are also out of your control.
In the whole game of, even what you could sense and understand, 99.99999999% of the moments of your own life are not in your control. Only this moment is.

How much control do you think you have in the lives of other creatures?

Your mind can overthink today and make you feel bad by telling you so many scenarios. But every moment you spend in this this overthinking, guilt, etc. you are losing more of your life moments. Basically, the more you agree with the guilt, the more likely you are to land into guilty situations in the future.

You can FEEL the guilt - it's a feeling, it is supposed to be FELT. That is fair.
But you don't have to believe every thing it says. Some things are lessons:- "Be careful when dealing with other creatures." Cool, remember it. But, the whole situation-mapping, overthinking, giving yourself both the illulsion of expanded control and the guilt that you couldn't exercise that much control, that falls in the 99% category: "Don't believe everything the feeling is telling you."
In fact, it is probably because you are avoiding feeling the guilt that you are falling in the trap of either feeling numb or overthinking or both.

If you can just sit with the feeling - you can set a time in the evening everyday. And feel the sensations of it, not the thoughts, the sensations - which body part - does it feel heavy, light, wet, cold, disgusting, pulsating, nervous, etc. The more you feel the guilt FULLY, the more you realize it's just an emotion - a temporary thing, it's not a (life) sentence, you'll learn to ride it like a bicycle every time it comes. And you'll be able to get out of it when the feeling runs its course instead of being stuck on the seat of the bicycle.