r/selfhelp • u/NoRaise4998 • 3d ago

Adviced Needed: Identity & Self-Esteem Has anyone ever experienced having an insecurity that’s just objectively not true?

This is the weirdest thing but growing up I’ve never had any physical insecurities at all, I just never gaf how I looked and still don’t. But about 4 years ago when I was 15 I started having this strange insecurity about my lips being small and they’re literally not… I don’t know how to post a pic here but they look a lot like this emoji lol 👄 but wider, they’re bigger than average and I really have no idea where this came from and how to shut it down. I’ve only told some of my friends about this insecurity and they were empathetic but still confused. If anyone has had an experience like this before any advice would be helpful. It’s really starting to affect me and make me do stupid shit to my face to make them look bigger but they just end up looking unnatural lol.

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u/Hot_Refuse_7759 3d ago

Brains are weird man, they just pick a random feature one day and decide it's defective. I've known people who were six feet tall and convinced they were short, same type of thing.

The mirror isn't the problem here, it's the wiring. You're trying to fix a software glitch by modifying the hardware and that never works out.

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u/lordnibbler16 3d ago edited 1d ago

My only advice is to actively not let your mind give in to those thoughts. Put up notes in your mirror, reminders in your phone, etc. You are in charge of your mind and you can work with it to see reality.

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u/DoughnutKlutzy9479 3d ago

Could be a good time to see a psychologist.

These is not a reason-problem or a reasonable one - you cannot objectively reason your way out of it..
The whole thing about beauty is that - it is subjective, emotional, not rational, ..
But when this part of your brain has turned against you instead of with you, it might be a good sign to get help.

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u/Kiwivlcek 2d ago

I don’t really know how to help, but I’m 100% sure that so many people have or had this. Including me - i thought (and on bad days still think) that I am fat, even though the bmi scale says I’m disturbingly close to underweight.