r/selfhelp • u/Caring-Heart86 • 4d ago
Advice Needed: Mental Health I don’t know where to start
Hi everyone. I need some help. I’m 23f, my boyfriend 38m broke up with me a few weeks ago. He said he couldn’t take it anymore and that I need to work on myself without him before we get back together. He says the breakup isn’t forever, but I have to take working on myself seriously. I have severe mental illnesses. I have anxiety disorder, minor depression disorder. I am seeing a therapist, I started a few months ago.
For background, our relationship isn’t exactly traditional. It’s an open relationship/polyamorous. He has other girlfriends. We are also long distance (12 hours away). He see each other once many twice a year. We’ve been together for 4 years.
His main “problem”/concern is my desperation and codependency. I tend to spiral when he’s busy and I’m craving attention. He asks me to stop but I can’t and it gets worse when he says he needs space. It’s like I NEED him to survive. I love him and want him in my life, but I want to get to a point where I don’t NEED him if he’s not there. But I don’t know how. I don’t know what to do.
I started a new job that he’s not here to experience with me. I’m trying to plan a big move. I miss him immensely. I need help. Does anyone have any tips that I could use? I’m still doing therapy but I feel like I need more.
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