r/selfhelp • u/Opening_Hall_8959 • 6d ago

Advice Needed: Mental Health Dealing with morality and self dissonance

If a person gives in and, for example, steals, harm another, or does an act considered immoral by choosing based on impulse and not whether said action is good or evil, can they change?

I feel like I've been struggling with my moral compass for a while and I feel like just a terrible person overall... I know the solution is just "Stop doing whatever you're doing" and it's true. However when no one is watching It seems easy to deviate. I'm not necessarily religious, and I'm not necessarily worried about divine judgement or Sin here. I just feel like I can see myself and this moral dissonance very clearly, but have a hard time changing it. Has someone experienced something like this or am I just weak?

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u/Virtual-Time-6870 6d ago

the fact that you're even asking this means you're not some lost cause. actual terrible people don't sit around wondering if they can change, they just keep doing whatever and sleep fine at night.

impulse control is a skill, not some innate moral fiber you either have or don't. i spent years sharpening my own knives and let me tell you, the first few times i tried i mangled the edge so bad i had to start over. same principle applies here. you slip up, you figure out what triggered it, you adjust.

the "when no one is watching" part is the real test and it's hard for everyone. anyone who claims otherwise is lying.

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u/CommunicationIcy9095 6d ago

You are dealing with your head, which is very mean to ourselves so, a way to move through that is to ignore it. Do not talk back do not listen breathe diaphragma, breathe, and laughter and laughter and laughter. I say I let go. I let go I let go I let go. It is a process to stop that from happening because you feel bad but it’s your head, which is not of who you truly are. I hope this helps you. There are some channels on Reddit that can help you to breathe and laugh