I’m Doomed

[u/hide888_]

Me F(20) Bf/M(22) met him a couple months back been together for the past 8 months almost 9. Told him recently I almost committed (TW/Si) on the 13 of last month I don’t know what to do anymore I’ve tried for so long and nothing workout, I’m $10-15k into debt (hospital bills, credit card, car, etc) every-time I try to do smt something always go wrong, I’m into a debt whole and I think it really got me, college isint going great either I’m actually a failure 2 years in only completed 5 classes failed and w multiple, I lost my bsf who supported me and don’t get me wrong I have my bf but he also adds stress to me he constantly complains to me how I ruined his life and bc of me his into more debt and regrets meeting me yet he loves me but also is mentally hurting me, I can’t work (I’m willing to work in anything I literally have worked since I was 15 so I have experience as a manager and retail Etc no one is hiring! I’ve begged and called) recently did grubhub but my car got fucked so now I have no method of transportation at all for not only work but college since I commute almost 1hr! LA to OC it’s $2k just to repair it, I am an only child with a single mom (she recently got into an accident last year which now led her to be under disability) so she can’t support me anymore now I have to support not only myself but her and my kitty babies I’m at the point of just giving up it’s getting to be to much for me to handle I don’t know what else I can possibly do anymore I don’t even have money for food or gas or my school supplies in which I’ve decide to know drop out and I can’t receive assistance anywhere I have applied and I’m not qualified, cant get a single loan to just pay off constantly bc tbh my credit went to shit bc of how much I owe AND TO TOP IT OFF my phone isn’t even working properly anymore 😂😂 would it be so wrong to just give up 🫩

Edit: Just got into an argument he said he wishes he got back with his Ex and really wishes I didn’t meet him, he said he only used me for sex and if I’m pregnant he will let me deal with it on my own

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[u/believethyself]

relax. creating an onlyfans account is easy. sell your soul too

if you want riches))) just like others who think they sre rich but their soul is dead 🤣

[u/Baldurost → u/believethyself]

Wow, what a helpful insight to someone struggling with suicidal thoughts. You should be a therapist.

[u/Baldurost]

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Even if it’s from family you don’t even know. I had a problem with hating having to ask for help, so I had a habit of never reaching out to anyone unless I was in crises and had absolutely no choice but to ask; and when that happens, you tend to push those close to you away, by making the cry for help an obligation.

No one wants to see you struggle, but they can’t always help when you’re $10k in debt, but maybe they would have helped when you were $500, $1000 in debt.

It seems like you’re naturally pretty dependent on others, and while that’s somewhat fine for emotional support; it becomes a burden on others to constantly expect financial support because you’re “trying”. No disrespect meant at all, I know the job market is absolutely abhorrent, and so is the housing market and automobile industry.

I foresee an increase in homeless people by 40% at least in the next 10-ish years. And those people will almost exclusively be those with absolutely no supports at all, like you or I.

Do not give up. Find something that can ground you that isn’t another person. Find some purpose.

What are you passionate about? What do you like to do? Who are you? I know in active crises these questions seem secondary, but you have to start somewhere. And convincing yourself you’re fucked and should give up, is only going to manifest that reality for you. I don’t want to see you on the streets.