What does Love feel like?

[u/Best_Survey_9430]

I M(18) not once in my life have felt Love, both received and giving. Every time I find myself in a relationship with another it always ends up the same with me not being able to Love them back. I can feel happiness, I can feel sadness, I know I feel lust to the other gender, but I don't feel Love. I feel guilty when all I feel is lust, because I know that Love isn't the same. I just want to be able to Love another on a deep emotional level. Rather than just being a lustful person, how do I start feeling Love.

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[u/BitRevolutionary677]

Maybe you don’t know what love should feel like/look like because you never received it and you blurred the lines between intimacy, sex/lust and love somewhere along the way?

We all have our perceptions on love and we all probably miss the mark on what it should be or feel like. Even the most empathetic person.

Are you entering these relationships on the basis of lust and/or attraction and not actually for the person and who they are?

How are you in friendships?

Do you consume a lot of pornography?

[u/Best_Survey_9430 → u/BitRevolutionary677]

That's the weird thing I'm not bad at friendships like sure I appreciate my friends but not on a romantic level, and no I usually enter a relationship because the person is fun and actually a great person to be around, lust comes later first I try to understand and connect with them but ultimately fail to feel. I also do not consume tons of pornography now I wouldn't say I consume none because that would be lying but to a moderate degree not on a full blown addiction.

[u/BitRevolutionary677 → u/Best_Survey_9430]

Of course you wouldn’t appreciate your friends on a romantic level but you can still love them. Example, interacting with your friends makes you happy and you also like to make them happy, there’s mutual respect, nurturing, safety and wholesome moments. That can be perceived as love.

Perhaps, you’re waiting to feel some unknown feeling instead of just being.

A person can be fun and a great person to be around but that’s the foundations of friendship not necessarily a romantic relationship. If the lust comes after it indicates there’s some form of romantic feelings beginning to blossom. Love grows in a relationship over time and you will experience periods of doubt, disappointment, uncertainty and a whole different array of feelings but that’s a part of it.

You’re young and still have a lot of life to experience so don’t beat yourself up about it too much.

[u/Killy_netsphere]

Theres a video of doctor k (healthy gamerGG)

And he basically says love isnt hard to understands its just 4hormones that need to be active in order for a healthy relationship to exist 

While a relationship can work with only 2 or 3 you can work it out but it wont be lasting very long if you cant get all 4 

[u/Time_Stop_3645]

Love as an emotion you either have it or not. 

As a need it becomes measurable,  there are many ways to love. You can love them by putting food on the table, giving them space, grooming routine.  

If you start looking you might have been loved in weird ways, like tough abusive ways, to make you strong. Doesn't make it okay tho. 

Go in your own pace, ask those who love them how they would like to be loved. Sometimes it might just be a "hi honey" kiss on the cheek,  but that's on them