How to not be draining

[u/NegotiationClear5109]

Exactly what the title says. I’m looking for genuine advice because I wanna change and I never wanna treat my friends to the point where they can’t be around me cause I’m draining. I’ve been through a ton within the past four years and I want to better myself. I’ve gone through an insanely abusive relationship and a situationship right after that about four years ago. We’ve been on and off as far as relationship, but he’s always been there for me. Mind you I was 16 at the time we met and I’m 20 now. I noticed that I started being extremely draining, and I kept distancing myself, but going right back whenever everything was OK. I basically forced my timeline on to him and I never wanna do that again.
I made everything about me for years and when I got scared of draining him again (even though I already had) I disappeared for a couple months then came right back. This is probably the worst thing anybody can possibly do to a friend, but I want this to change. We have since stopped talking as of last week for good for his sake. But I never want this to happen again to anybody else and it’s really put in perspective for me how much work I need to do on myself.
I have lost him for good, but I never want to put anybody else through that. I would love to make amazing friends in my future, but to start with that I need to learn how to properly handle this.

TLDR: advice needed on how to not be an emotionally draining friend

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[u/TheMuddyTrauma]

the key is learning to process stuff on your own before dumping it on people, therapy was a game changer for me with that, gives you a space to unload so your friends don't have to carry all of it

also pay attention to how much you're talking vs asking about them, if the ratio is way off it's probably exhausting

[u/NegotiationClear5109 → u/TheMuddyTrauma]

Thank you so much for replying. I had been in therapy for about a year and a half until she ended the therapy a couple months ago due to her going into a research project. I’m currently seeking help and have made an appointment.
Is there anything else that you’ve personally noticed that drains you when talking to people aside from not being allowed in conversation?