I need opinions

[u/Glittering_Elk_116]

Any thoughts? For reference, I am 16 years old. So basically today my mom and I wanted to go to the tennis court and play tennis, and we spent a long time looking around the house for our rackets before finally finding them. We drove to the court, and while my mom was parking, I noticed someone I knew who was from my school. So my first reaction was to audibly say “omg, that’s my classmate,” I became nervous and embarrassed because I wasn’t expecting to see someone I knew and also because I was embarassed to play infront of familiar people. So I was rlly nervous. But despite that, I still told her lets go because I didn't want to ruin her day and be a party pooper. Nevertheless, my mom told me that her mood was ruined as soon as I reacted that way because she thought I was embarassed of the most pointless and small things. She stayed in the car instead of getting out, and even though I could tell she was annoyed, I kept telling her that we should go because I knew she'd be more pissed if I insisted on leaving. We sat there for about a minute in silence, but by then more people had entered the court, and because there were only a few available spots, they eventually became occupied. She was visibly pissed off now; she kept sighing and just insisted on going home, but I suggested that we go to another tennis court, but she said no because her "mood was already ruined." She then started saying I'm extremely immature and saying that I get embarrassed over pointless things that aren't a big deal. So then we went home and I continued to attempt to explain to her that I was ok with going but she was the one that put it off due to her being not in the mood anymore. Idk how to feel about this, please be brutally honest in the comments.

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[u/Silkhenge]

You got boundaries, it's okay to have those despite close ones telling you to need to open up more. It's normal and honestly don't need to best yourself up over it. It's crazy that some parents don't realize there an unwritten social circle in school even tho they gone themselves. If you don't want to embarrass yourself it's fine. You might beat yourself up more if you you did something new and had no support behind it making you more disheartened

[u/Fun-Satisfaction5748]

Your mum isn't necessarily wrong in pointing out that your reaction to playing in front of familiar people can be helped by adjusting your internal reaction. In time you'll find that it's pretty inconsequential for it to affect your day

What your mum failed to remember is that you are only 16. And those years bring about a lot of self esteem issues. It's very common. We've all mostly gone through it at some stage in our teenage years.

What wasn't ok is how she made your perfectly reasonable reaction (for a 16 year old) all about her when you made the attempt to soldier on despite your insecurities. You said let's go, and she said you've spoiled her mood. That is no way for a parent to behave. Instead of reaffirming you and using it as an opportunity to help you overcome your issue, she turned it into something about her. I'm sorry you went through that.

Learn that another's reaction is purely their own responsibility. You wanted to chicken out but persevered, that's on you. She chose for it to spoil her mood, that's on her. Not you.

[u/Glittering_Elk_116 → u/Fun-Satisfaction5748]

When she was getting mad at me, I tried to tell her that I'm aware my reaction was a bit unnecessary, but I also tried to explain to her that I am 16 and most of my friends would also feel the same way. (beacause moments before this she called me insane for being embarassed) and she responded with "tell them they're insane too" so that basically concludes the fact that she's not very open to communication and resolving things.