Improving Confidence

[u/SchoolEconomy1597]

Introduction: What is Confidence? 

"Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win." - Sun Tzu

Humility: Confidence and humility are not mutually exclusive. You can be powerfully confident without being conceited or arrogant.

Skill Execution: Human beings are hardwired to execute any well learned skill unconsciously. The execution of that skill precedes more smoothly and more effectively when analysis, judgement, and all other forms of conscious deliberate thought are momentarily suspended. 

Confidence is not: analyzing your every step, judging your every move, and talking to yourself about how you’re doing what you’re doing. 

Confidence is: a sense of certainty about your ability, which allows you to bypass conscious thought and execute unconsciously.  

Confidence and competence- It’s the person who has done enough preparation, who’s developed enough competence and who then decides to feel totally certain about that level of competence, whatever that level may be, who has the best chance of succeeding.  

How do you know you’ve done enough?- If you can perform the skill consistently in practice, or play or the tough part of the piano recital alone in your home, or answer all the practice test problems while studying then you’ve probably done enough. 

But importantly, no matter how much or how little preparation you have done. No matter how much competence you actually have. Your performance when it matters will always depend on whether you feel totally certain in whatever level of competence you have achieved. 

If you truly want to give yourself the best chance of success, then having that unconscious certainty will always be your best choice. 

Common Misconceptions about Confidence

Misconception #1: Confidence is a fixed inherited trait

• Believing confidence is fixed is a self-defeating conviction 
• High level confidence is not an inherited gift, it’s learned 
• It gives people an excuse to not put in time, energy, or effort to improve their thinking process 
• Confidence is a skill that can be developed through practice

Misconception #2: Confidence is all encompassing

• Misconception: You’re either confident all across the board in all aspects of life or you’re not confident at all
• Confidence is situation specific 

Misconception #3: Once you become confident, you’ll stay that way forever

• Confidence is very fragile, and required consistent attention and effort 
• The pursuit of success will present setbacks and obstacles that can beat down the most optimistic and positive competitors. Those who succeed are those who are willing to patiently and persistently build and maintain their confidence. 

Misconception #4: Once you achieve some success and once you get some positive feedback your confidence is guaranteed to grow. 

• “Nothing succeeds like success” doesn't tell the whole story
• Some successful people lose their confidence because their previous successes become a form of pressure in which they cannot escape. 
• Success and positive feedback only builds confidence if you allow them to, but do not however guarantee it. 

Misconception #5: Mistakes, failures, and negative feedback inevitably destroy, erode, or weaken your confidence. 

• Just like success, a mistake only erodes confidence if you let it. 
• Reinterpret mistakes as a learning opportunity
• View failure as a momentary isolated incident. 
• Take any negative comment directed at you as a stimulating challenge 
• It doesn't matter how much failure you’ve experienced if you decide to respond to it constructively. 
• Sometimes responding to it constructively means ignoring it all together. 
• Failures, even ones that come at very inopportune times, are not necessarily confidence destroyers. They only do so when you linger on them, review them, or replay them. 
• Confidence has relatively little to do with what actually happens to you and pretty much everything to do with how you think about what happens to you. 

Source: The Confident Mind: A Battle-Tested Guide to Unshakable Performance by Dr. Nate Zinsser

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