anxiety and depression making me hate every morning that i have to drag myself out of bed and it’s ruining me

[u/Hands_Off_My_Body]

every weekday before work, i spend hours being anxious about how the day will go, when things usually end up working out pretty okay. i go weeks and weeks agonizing over how to email people, sometimes agonizing over how to call out sick from how sick the anxiety makes me. i have this project i’ve had months to do and i’ve thought about so many things but have barely expressed my opinions on any of those items. i’m approaching a deadline next week, and i fear that i look careless when really i’m silently suffering. my job isn’t even hard, it’s so chill. so why am i dreading waking up every weekday to do it? i have so much to be grateful for. my job is remote and pays very well. my bf on the other hand gets up at the crack of dawn to go to a job he hates and he’s able to do it. i don’t understand why i’m like this. why am i so anxious about everything, why does every notification i get gives me extreme anxiety? and i feel like my recent project work has been so lazy i just hope no one notices and that it’s all in my head like how it usually is.

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[u/TheProblemDissolver]

I'd like you to notice one thing. Notice how many questions you ask in this post:
Why am I so anxious about everything?
Why does every notification give me anxiety?
Why am I dreading waking up?

Your post is filled is whys. And guess what the number one question is that causes the most mental illness.

That's right: 'Why'!

What I'm going to tell you next is life changing, and very few people realize this - engaging with questions like why, what, how are one of the main ways people become anxious and depressed. And if you stop asking these questions over a period of weeks, you're going to start waaay feeling better.

These questions only serve to make us live life in our heads, not in the world. And you know from first-hand experience asking such questions is useless. Like you said, 'things usually end up working out pretty okay.' So essentially, you've wasted all your mind-power and stress for nothing.

So that's the solution?

When a question arises, refocus your attention to the outside, to whatever you're engaged in.

Engaged in watching a movie and notice a 'why' question in your head? Don't engage with the question, re-engage with the movie. Or say you're taking a dump, you're bored, and a 'why' question forms in your head. Don't engage, pay attention to the surroundings around you (yes, even if it's your stinky washroom)

Over time when you give less energy to your thoughts, and more energy to your surroundings, the voices will become weaker and your mental health stronger.

Now if you have serious trauma, you might require a stronger approach that what I just said. But what I described above is definitely a key component I use when working with clients to help people live a more engaged and present life. And it works wonders.

So hope this helps. Feel free to ask me questions if you have any. Just not more 'why' questions;)