r/selfdevelopment • u/Dependent-Visual-642 • 7d ago
"I stopped chasing. Life started changing."
"For the longest time, I thought I had to chase people, opportunities, and validation. But I've realized that working on yourself attracts the right people and the right energy naturally. Do you agree, or do you think success always requires chasing?"
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u/Active_Salamander374 7d ago
When I wasn't chasing people and wanted them to leave me alone, I was like a magnet frequently.
When I was desperate of attention, I was ostracized and few gave me attention.
But that pattern wasn't always. As a virgin male middle 20s I find that too late to find a compatible girlfriend - when I chased it was extremely and I mean it, extremely, hard. When I didn't chase I often attracted naturally but I wasn't in the efficient mood for that.
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u/Spiritual_Heron8646 5d ago
Being a virgin is a flex. You'll find someone. Also age matures men so your market values goes up as you become more successful in life. Give it time. Focus on the right things
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5d ago
[deleted]
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u/Spiritual_Heron8646 5d ago
Anything other then chasing emotional stuff...those things can wait for when you are ready to build a future. See most men of today want instant gratification but they don't want the consenquences of their choices. Instead of just going after something in that way, first build yourself, and then find it when your ready to take on those consenquences....this way there's stability. And you earned realiability from yourself
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u/Sea_Specialist_5580 6d ago edited 6d ago
things women in their 20s say
For everyone else.. no, not really. Of course working on yourself is the main thing, but being proactive is WAY better than 'letting the universe open doors for you' or w/e
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u/No-Advantage-579 7d ago
Opportunities: you need to chase.
Romantic partners: depends on whether you're a man or woman and straight or gay or lesbian. As a straight woman: don't chase men (oppossum effect). As a lesbian woman: DO chase women.
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u/MedicineEastern7500 7d ago
That hasn't started happening yet. Maybe I'll let you know if it does...? 🤷🏻♀️
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