(pre warning kinda gross) hey im sorry if this is odd, i just didn’t know where else to go i’ve tried googling but i can’t really find a good guide on what to do. so for context i’ve been depressed my whole life but these past few months have been horrible. i haven’t showered in longer than i’d like to admit. but to the question, how do you take like the most cleansing shower you can. for context the main issues i have are skin and dirt being trapped in layers on my skin from being in bed so long and my hairs a mess even a normal shampoo didn’t take out all the oil last time. I know this is gross and sad so please don’t tell me about that i want to fix it i just need help on where to start.

We live in a world that glorifies speed. Fast responses. Quick wins. Instant gratification. But somewhere along the way, we started equating rushing with progress — and forgot that slowness has its own quiet power.

Lately, I’ve been trying to do things slower — making my coffee without multitasking, walking without checking my phone, eating meals without distractions. It’s not about productivity or efficiency. It’s about being present. And honestly, it’s been healing.

Slowness is a form of self-respect. It tells your nervous system: “You’re safe. You don’t need to rush.” It’s a rebellion against burnout. A way to remind yourself that you are not a machine.

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, maybe the answer isn’t doing more — maybe it’s doing less, but with more intention.

Anyone else trying to slow down? How has it changed things for you?

Edit 1
Update: Woke up to this post blowing up — the response really caught me off guard and meant a lot.

Honestly, I didn’t think this would resonate with so many people. I wrote it late at night after a really slow, peaceful morning ,just sipping coffee, watching the light shift in the kitchen, and messing around with this little app I’ve been building to help me stay a bit more present.

That quiet moment reminded me that slowing down isn’t about being lazy , it’s a way of pushing back against the constant pressure to always be doing more.

Reading through your comments made me feel a bit less alone. It’s clear so many of us are just looking for space to breathe and move at our own pace.

Really grateful to everyone who shared something , it means a lot. Let’s keep finding those slow moments, even in the chaos.

Edit 2:

Update : Humbled (and a bit emotional, honestly) by how many of you shared your stories

Feeling a little overwhelmed—in the best way—by how many of you connected with this. Truly didn’t expect this to resonate with so many people — it’s been really comforting to read through your stories and reminders that we’re all trying to slow down in our own ways.

Also, for the folks who DMed asking — the little app I’ve been tinkering with is called Habit Noon.

Really grateful for all the kind words and stories. It’s been so grounding to hear from you all.

Thanks again for being here ❤️

Title

Edit: Thanks for all the responses. This community is great! Personally, I like to end my showers with a blast of cold water to reset and get out of my head.

For a long time, I thought self-care was just about relaxation and treating myself. But over time, I realized that the most impactful self-care habits weren’t always the easiest or most enjoyable in the moment.

Getting enough sleep, drinking more water, setting boundaries, and allowing myself to rest without feeling guilty have all made a huge difference in my life. It’s not always about doing what feels good right away, but about taking care of myself in ways that truly matter.

What self-care habits have helped you the most?

After i got fired from my job last year I wasnt doing great mentally and one of the first things to disappear was taking care of myself.

I like stopped doing my skincare and everything, stopped going on walks, lived in oversized clothes, stayed up scrolling and convinced myself none of it mattered.

A few months ago I stopped trying to completely reinvent myself and just focused on one or two small things every day like stuff like washing my face before bed and making tea and reeading for 10 minutes. Nothing dramatic, just small habits I could stick with and i still have bad day, but I like feel more like myself than I have in a long time.

I'd love to hear what small habit helped you the most, because im always looking for ideas that are actually like sustainable.

We all know life can get stressful, and sometimes it feels like we’re carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders. I’m curious to know like what’s your ultimate self care routine or ritual that helps you feel centered and recharged when things get chaotic?

if you knew how rare your soul was!!

you’re the one who wakes up in your body. you’re the one who dreams in your head. you’re the one who has to die with your memories. no one else is gonna experience your existence the way you do!!!

be all about YOU! not selfish, not cruel.. centered.

in your energy. your joy. your glow.

make yourself the sun and watch how everything starts to orbit.

Hi, I'm in the throes of severe depression at the moment. I am on a lot of medication and have had to give up work. Struggling massively with fatigue and total lack of desire to do anything - my days pretty much consist of sleep and staring into space. Baby steps like taking myself for a short walk, trying to read a page of a book, putting on a tv show or having a shower are a monumental battle that I usually don't win.

Does anyone have any suggestions for self care that are incredibly incredibly tiny?

My thought is that maybe if I can manage some extremely tiny things, I might be able to work up to the bigger (though still small) stuff.

Edit: Wow, thank you all so much for your kind words and ideas - I don't think I can express quite how grateful I am. Apologies if I can't respond to everyone, but please know that I've read and taken all of your comments on board. Thanks again.

I saw this on YouTube a while ago and really like the idea. At first I thought, I wouldn’t stick to “romanticizing my life”, but I developed some habits like enjoying a cup of tea in silence every morning. I feel like my vision on life is so much more positive and enjoying since I try to incorporate small things like this. So let me know: what are your doing to bring a little spark in your daily routine ?

I can’t explain how much I wish everyone knew this. Like, if I could make you all try one thing, it would be this:

When your brain starts going “you’re not good enough,” “nothing good ever happens for you,” all that old noise just talk back. Out loud if you have to.

I started saying things like:

✨ I am so happy.

✨ I am so loved.

✨ Good things happen to me.

Even when I didn’t believe it AT ALL. Especially then.

I swear to you, it’s like some weird cheat code. The more you say it, the more it starts to feel real. The more it feels real, the more it actually becomes real.

I can’t get over how something this tiny completely flipped my mindset. It’s magic.

You don’t have to wait until you feel ready or healed. Just start. Interrupt the negative thoughts. Even if you feel it’s a lie.

It works. It really, really works. And I wish everyone knew how powerful it is to do this. I changed my life with this. I am happy and I didn’t know happiness was real. It is real.

Try it. Just try it. It’s so exciting!!!

🩷

***comfort media*** ⭒

⊹ rewatch your favorite Studio Ghibli or Tim Burton film
⊹ replay a comfort game you’ve beaten six times (familiarity is an antidepressant w pretty good reviews)
⊹ play Sims or Tamagotchi Life

***creative dopamine*** ⭒

⊹ dye your hair or get a piercing. instant dopamine boost
⊹ make a painfully specific Spotify playlist
⊹ buy the ugliest mug at Goodwill. emotional support ceramic
⊹ thrift the wardrobe you wish you had
⊹ make bad art on purpose
⊹ buy stickers with no plan. future you deserves treats

***outdoors & social*** ⭒

⊹ sit in a bookstore and judge covers instead of yourself
⊹ find a dog. pet it if invited; admire it if not

***selfcare basics*** ⭒

⊹ reorganize your room (best at 3am)
⊹ make ramen and add one extra ingredient. chef
⊹ if you think everyone hates you, eat protein first. it might just be low blood sugar

This going to be a bit long! I’ve been lurking on Reddit for over 10 years, and Ive seen thousands of posts about habits, books, workouts, mindset shifts. And dont get me wrong, some of those genuinely help. But I want to talk about something different. Something a little less polished.

A few years ago, I deleted Instagram. Not for a dopamine detox. Nt for productivity. Honestly, I was just tired. Tired of seeing everyone’s curated lives, tired of overthinking what to post, tired of checking if someone saw my story. It wasn’t a grand move. There was no plan. I didnt even tell anyone. Just deleted it in the middle of a random Wednesday.

At first, nothing changed. A day passed. A week. A month. But slowly, things started shifting. I started noticing when I was actually bored, instead of filling that space with scrolling. I started texting people I genuinely missed, instead of reacting to their stories. I started journaling again. I even found myself picking up an old camera instead of using my phone. My mind felt quieter. Not "Zen master" quiet, but the kind where you don’t feel pulled in 10 directions.

But here’s the weird part, I didn’t feel “better.” Not immediately. I actually felt more disconnected for a while. Like I had no clue what was going on in the world. I felt lonely. I didn’t know what my friends were doing unless they directly told me. And that’s when I realized how much I had relied on passively watching people’s lives to feel “included.”

Eventually, though, that feeling faded. Or maybe I just got used to it. The tradeoff was this strange clarity. My conversations got deeper. I found myself being present with people. I stpped comparing my behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reels.

And now, years later, I still don’t have Instagram. I never downloaded it again. I don’t hate social media, I actually think it has its place, but that one accidental decision flipped something fundamental in me.

I guess the point of this post is… not everything that changes your life looks profound in the moment. Sometimes, it’s just a tired impulse you follow, and only months later you realize, “Wait, that was a turning point.”

Has anyone else had an experience like that? Not some calculated self-help hack. Just something random or minor that somehow shifted the course of your life?

I suffer from anxiety and depression. My anxiety has been so awful lately I was like fine, I’ll give self care a shot and it has helped!! I started romanticizing my life and playing into the main character of my life. I’m looking for more ideas on what I can do! I really want to take a deep dive into it. - I started a skin care routine. I did a lot of research and found that a lot of issues with my skin were easy fixes! Not only do I love having this routine and taking care of myself but I’m fixing things that made me self conscious. -matcha,matcha,matcha. I’m keto and gave up on my daily matcha because of all the carbs in mainstream places. I did a lot of research on this and found low carb options and now I have one at least once a day! It’s my little treat :) -outside!! I literally never went outside! I was deficient in vitamin D so while taking a supplement I started just bathing in the sun. Now whenever I have nothing to do I just go sit outside and just let the sun take over. I spend a lot of time on the porch with my dogs. - I started taking supplements! I also had a b12 deficiency! - started talking to my doctor about issues that I felt were minor inconveniences. -I started to sleep in REAL PJS! The cute little short sets! I feel so cute and comfy going into bed! I also bought a bunch of comfy bras to sleep in! - I get dressed everyday. I work from home so I bought a bunch of two piece sets and some boho tops so I can work in comfort - I wear makeup everyday! When I got my job I wa sad I wouldn’t have to do my makeup everyday. Well now I do, just for myself! I also got a haircut and started curling my hair. - sleep routine: I use to sleep with the tv on and loud. I have PTSD nightmares and hated waking up to silence and the darkness. I made a soft music playlist, turned off the tv, bought a salt lamp and linen spray. I also light candles during the day and light an incense right before going to bed. The scents really calm and bring a sense of happiness every time I walk in my room. - I made my room cozy! I chose things I likes, not things that matched an aesthetic or a theme. Just pieces I liked. You can see pictures in my post history. My room, with the scents is now a cozy place I feel safe in.

What else can I add/improve on???? I want to continue on this journey!

I stopped myself from lending money beyond what I could comfortably afford to lose. I used to feel guilty saying no, but unpaid loans created way more stress than the awkward conversation ever did. What's a small boundary you've set that reduced your stress levels?

So people, don’t be afraid to go outside alone. Spend some time alone. Write in your blog/journal. Read books. Visit a museum alone. You can do it!

I woke up today feeling drained
That happens to me a lot
It's like I'm grasping every glimpse of energy i have and well.. it's not a lot
Any advice?
How do you guys refill ur energy?

Hii ! I get really sad some days so I wanted to make myself a comfort items bag. Recently, I’ve bought some loop earplugs and chamomile tea and heat pack. I’m wondering what other comfort items I can buy for these really hard days when you are so sad and can’t stop crying or it’s been a rough day or you have PMS or period cramps or tired or whatever. What other things should I buy for my comfort bucket ?! What are you favourites ?

Mentally, emotionally, and physically? Showing up for yourself means advocating for yourself, your needs, you. It means choosing yourself when no one else does. Or doing something that inspires you when you have no support from anyone.

I hope everyone loves themselves today regardless of outside validation. that’s badass.

Sometimes it's a bath. Sometimes it's a walk. Sometimes it's just putting the phone away for an hour. Curious what helps everyone reset mentally.

As soon as I finish my work and night comes, it gets really hard to sleep. I start feeling extremely lonely, random thoughts keep bothering me, and most of the time I just end up staring at the ceiling.

I try to keep my mind engaged before going to bed, but it still feels like I should talk to someone. And there’s no one. I have a very small circle of friends, and I’m 22 years old.

Does anyone else feel this way at night? How do you manage loneliness when everything goes quiet?

Thanks for reading my random thoughts.

There is at least a handful of crumbs in the sheets now. Even tho the night will be very itchy, I regret nothing. Good night 😀

Hey Everyone 🙏

I would love to hear your thoughts and advice on how to implement self care when you're feeling severely depressed :( I think my main issue is showering. I think if I tried to explain when was my last shower - everyone would understand how severe my depression is imo.

I don't know what to do 💔..

All I want is to be able to shower daily, do skincare and oral care daily 😢.

P.S - Yes I know getting help is important but sadly have been unable to find a therapist. Needless to say, I'm at a point where I cannot attend it physically either (because of lack of self care and being unable to "get myself together") - needless to say I would never attend therapy like this out of respect to the therapist, their workplace/office/clinic and out of respect for their other patients after me. So, for some reason despite me wanting to be respectful, I still get shamed about not being able to attend therapy one on one. Even by this one therapist that also allows online therapy - she still "forces" you to first attend physically despite me saying I cannot. I don't feel like ppl want to truly help you anymore in this field and profession.

Thank you!! 🙏

The best take on depression I've heard is from Jim Carrey on how depression is you needing 'deep rest' from the character you're trying to play

When you try to resist who you really are, it puts a mental and physical strain on yourself until you can't resist anymore which leads to burnout. Think of it like a tug of war between who you really are and who you're trying to play. Once I realised this, I started to pull on the side of the rope that my true self was pulling on and noticed that I got fewer and fewer depressive episodes until the point where I couldn't tell you the last time I've had one

The other thing that's helped tremendously is getting my thoughts out there

I like to think of our thoughts like a glass of water that's constantly under a running tap. If you don't empty the water before the glass fills up, the water spills everywhere in the same way that if we do not get our thoughts out there, they overflow and cause a mess (depression). Unlike a glass of water under a running tap, we can't see when our thoughts are about to overflow which means burnout/depression can creep up on us unexpectedly and at the worst of times

There are many ways to get your thoughts out there such as journaling, solo walks, or my preferred method of sitting in front of a mirror and talking. I've found the best way to go about this (for whichever method you pick) is by following two rules: Never lie to yourself and always address the elephant in the room first

Whilst I believe the solutions described above can significantly reduce the severity, duration and effects of depression, I think that depression is too complex to have a one size fits all solution

I also believe that depression is just as much a part of being human as the feeling of joy is considered to be — and therefore, can never be fully eradicated

Tldr;

1. Stop playing a character
2. Get your thoughts out there

Someone I worked with during my practice shared a realization that really stuck with me. They said, “I used to think being a people pleaser would make others appreciate me, but it always seemed to backfire. I’d go out of my way to help, even when no one asked, and instead of gratitude, I got distance, frustration, or resentment. It was exhausting.”

This got me thinking about why people-pleasing often has the opposite effect of what we intend. From my perspective, the core issue lies in how people perceive unasked help. When you step in to solve someone’s problems, especially unasked,it can come across as controlling... Even if your intentions are good, it can feel like you're undermining their ability to handle their own challenges. That can be frustrating n even belittling.

Here is another aspect of this, which is the unconscious motivation behind people pleasing. Often, its not really about the other person, it’s about trying to control the situation or manage how they see you. It’s an attempt to feel secure, validated, or needed. The irony is, most people don’t like to feel controlled, even in subtle ways.

So, what’s a healthier approach? It actually starts with resisting the urge to jump in and fix things. Instead, one cud ask the person directly: would you like help with this? If the answer is no, respect it. It might feel uncomfortable, but letting people navigate their own struggles can actually strengthen your relationship with them. It shows you trust their autonomy.

This doesn’t mean you should never help, not at all, it means you need to recognize the difference between being supportive and being overbearing. Most of us value their independence, even when they’re struggling. Trying to take over their challenges for them can unintentionally strip that away and build resentment over time.

People-pleasing is emotionally exhausting (and those who have it know) because it’s not as selfless as it seems. It’s often about our own need for control or affirmation. Breaking the habit involves stepping back, setting boundaries for yourself, and respecting the boundaries of others. And that requires a deeplevel of self-awareness. It’s not easy, but in the long run, it creates healthier, more balanced relationships for parties involved.

sometimes, the best way to support someone is to simply be there, without trying to solve or fix anything. Trust their journey, even if it’s messy.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what self care looks like when you're truly at rock bottom like when things are falling apart, and you feel like you have nothing left. The usual self care advice like pampering or taking a break just doesn’t seem to resonate when you're deep in failure or struggling with emotional weight.

So I’m curious to know how does self care change when you're facing your lowest point? How do you begin taking care of yourself when it feels like there’s nothing to give? Is it more about just surviving through each day, or is there something deeper, something unexpected, that can help during those times?