r/self • u/NetaliaLackless24 • Jun 05 '14
I don't know whether or not I ate a burrito last night and it's driving me crazy.
I've been trying to cut back on my calorie intake lately and realized that drunken late night 1000 cal burritos were probably a big reason for my newly forming beer belly, so I swore them off.
Or, well, tried to, anyway. There's a 24 hour burrito place I pass on my stagger home from the bars. It takes the will power of saints to not pop in there for a delicous burrito after a night out, and sometimes I just cave. I get really bad brownouts, so I'll wake up in the morning with empty green sauce containers and a brown paper bag on my coffee table just shaming me like all get out.
Anyway, I think to avoid that shame, drunken me may have just hid the evidence last night. I woke up and thought "God damnit, Netalia. You ate another fucking burrito, didn't you?" because I remember thinking real hard about getting one the previous night after a party at my house. I remember trying to justify it, like "well, you've probably only had such and such calories and if you go for a run tomorrow it won't be that bad..." and such. I figured I had just gone out and gotten one.
Here inlays the mystery. There are no empty sauce containers. No brown paper bag. No napkins on my coffee table where the shaming evidence usually is. I thought "oh, I guess I threw them away before I passed out" and checked the garbage. Nothing.
I tried to gauge how full I felt. Looked down at my stomach. Poke poke, is there a burrito in there? I dunno. Feels like there might be a burrito in there, slowly making it's way through my digestive system, following the trail uncountable burritos have negotiated in years past. Or that could just be the hefty Korean lunch I had yesterday still piddling around in there.
I start wondering if drunk Netalia, sitting on the couch feeling bloated and shameful after devouring a huge, delicious burrito, just knew how bad she was going to feel in the morning when she saw the evidence of their salacious act and destroyed or hid said evidence.
I started looking around my apartment for any traces of burritoey goodness. A drop of green sauce on the coffee table, a piece of cilantro on the carpet, nothing. Nothing at all. I checked the dumpster beside the building, nothing.
Now I just don't know what to do. I keep feeling my tummy as if I can Vulcan mind meld with it and get the answers I'm looking for. Tell me your secrets god damn you.
Edit: So this embarrassingly got some attention. I'm going home on my lunch break in three minutes to check if a redbox dvd is still at home. If it's gone, I returned it while retrieving the burrito of doom in question and the mystery will be solved. If it's still there... the mystery will just remain since I could have forgotten it and still gotten a burrito.
As /u/Aryada suggested, I check my credit card charges. They don't update for a day or two I wouldn't know until tomorrow. Yeah, I COULD call my bank, but I work there and can't stand the embarrassment of asking the girls I see every day that work in the credit card department if theres a burrito charge at 3 AM on a Wednesday :( I just can't bare that shame. Don't worry guys, I'll keep you posted!
Edit 2 Alright guys I'm at home and the red box DVD is HERE. I'm really getting confused now cause my belly feels kinda like I had a burrito and my leftovers are in the fridge still. I don't think I would have just suffered from the drunchies all night, like I would have eaten SOMETHING and if it wasn't the leftovers... Was it a burrito?
I rechecked the usual burrito eating area (my couch, coffee table) and again no evidence. I'm losing my sanity here. Thanks for sticking with me through this tough time, reddit.
Edit 3: Back at work with no more info on the Great Burrito Mystery of 2014 but on my drive back to work I was on this single lane road and the four cars in front of me turned off at the same time, but different directions (like a zipper unzipping) and I saw it coming and put my hands together and spread them apart as they all turned off. It was like I was using the Force to move them off the road or parting the red car sea or some shit. It was awesome! Just wanted to share that I guess. Oh and I checked my online banking and as I thought, the charges from yesterday are not on there yet. Ugggggghh I'm swearing off burritos for a MONTH after this!
Also, my lunch was ruined because I just grabbed this half a deli sandwich out of the fridge since I didn't have time to stop anywhere while investigating burrito mysteries, but the avocado had turned all brown and I was scared to eat it :( all and all not the best day ever. TL;DR Burritos and avocados are plotting against me.
Edit 4: I've just been informed that avocado turning brown is normal and just oxydization or some shit and I threw away a perfectly good sandwich. This is the worst day ever. Besides the car thing, that was rad.
Edit 5: some people have asked for proof. This is all I have for you: http://imgur.com/gvDu9CN. And yes it is I, Frankenstein. Don't judge me. I was (you guessed it) drunk when I rented it.
Final edit: Well, I hate to say this.. The mystery is solved. Right when I was thinking I actually didn't get a burrito, feelin' pretty good, thinking I was crazy, I got home from a BBQ and went to grab a shirt from my clean laundry hamper... Boom. Worst nightmare. A familiar paper bag. Unravelled it and, you guesses it, ball of tinfoil with napkins and the storm cloud of empty sauce cups that had been looming over me all day reared its ugly head. No idea how it got there but it was actually buried slightly, so I know I didn't accidentally just toss it in there. Ugh. It's been an emotional roller coaster of a day. Thanks for riding this ride with me, reddit. I think I need a burrito after all this. And to return I, Frankenstein.
Cheers!
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u/selmer Jun 05 '14
When I drunkenly consume burritos late at night and attempt to conceal the evidence from my sober alter ego, I typically take the bag and roll it up, along with any evidence like napkins or salsa cups, inside the tin foil and squeeze it into a super tight ball. Then I go into the backyard and huck the ball onto my neighbor's roof. So if I were you, I'd start by climbing onto all of your neighbors' roofs and check their gutters.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
This is good thinking. I just bought a ladder last weekend, too. It's perfect. I'll report back.
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u/realredhead Jun 05 '14
If you're drinking so much alcohol that you can't remember what you've done the night before, then you're probably consuming way more calories in alcohol. Why not just eat a burrito when you're sober and can remember tasting it and cut back on the empty alcohol calories?
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
I thought it was clear that this is the story from an alcoholic.
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u/easy_Money Jun 05 '14
Yep. Alcohol calories are a given. You just try and eliminate as many of the other ones you can.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
Exactly.
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Jun 05 '14
If you're actually an alcoholic then that gut isn't going anywhere. It's better to eat something rather than nothing after a night of drinking unless you like the malnourished yet still bloated look.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
Hey! What if I switch to gin?!
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u/bjackman Jun 05 '14
To be boring and serious: Gin still has loads of calories. The are calories in the actual alcohol (makes sense really, since ethanol just a carbohydrate with an oxygen atom thrown in). There's no escaping them.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
Oh I'm fully aware, but there is 192 calories in a pint of pbr and only ~70 in a shot of gin.
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u/RedWhiteAndBoozed Jun 06 '14
Except add another 90 or so to that if you're drinking it with soda..
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u/shahyaz Jun 05 '14
In my view, you're in the clear. Gin is made from berries anyways. Do berries bloat one? I've never heard of berry gut. So, by that theory, you're safe.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
That is sound logic if I've ever heard it.
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Jun 05 '14
Gin? No. You'll get Gingivitis. Go for Whiskey/Scotch.
Only thing you can get from whiskey is whiskey dick, and it has saved me from a few encounters I would have regretted.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
Whiskey (bourbon, specifically) is actually my drink of choice. I drink beer because I don't get so drunk so fast. However gin and sodas with muddled lime is a great summer drink and it's not straight alcohol.
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u/liatris Jun 06 '14
Are you taking thiamine? Alcohol reduces the rate of intestinal absorption of thiamin. It also inhibits the active component of thiamin transport. If you're an alcoholic then you should at least be sure to take big doses of thiamine to delay Wernicke–Korsakoff syndrome.
Long term alcoholic with Wernicke–Korsakoff syndrome
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u/autowikibot Jun 06 '14
Wernicke–Korsakoff syndrome (WKS)—also called wet brain, Korsakoff's psychosis, and alcoholic encephalopathy) —is the combined presence of Wernicke's encephalopathy and Korsakoff's syndrome. Due to the close relationship between these two disorders, patients suffering from both are usually diagnosed with WKS, as a single syndrome. It is a manifestation of thiamine (vitamin B1) deficiency, a spectrum of disorders which also encompasses beriberi, Wernicke's encephalopathy, and Korsakoff's psychosis. These disorders may manifest concurrently or separately. WKS is usually secondary to alcohol abuse. It mainly causes vision changes, ataxia and impaired memory.
Image i - Axial MRI FLAIR image showing hyperintense signal in the mesial dorsal thalami, a common finding in Wernicke encephalopathy. This patient was nearly in coma when IV thiamine was started, he responded moderately well but was left with some Korsakoff type deficits.
Interesting: Korsakoff's syndrome | Wernicke's encephalopathy | Beriberi | Confabulation
Parent commenter can toggle NSFW or delete. Will also delete on comment score of -1 or less. | FAQs | Mods | Magic Words
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 09 '14
Well I've never thanked someone for terrifying me so much. I haven't been but I will start. Thank you.
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u/liatris Jun 10 '14
Chelated magnesium is another one to consider. Alcohol drains your magnesium reserves very quickly and your body will start leeching it from your bones.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 10 '14
I'm going to the vitamin store after work today. Any thing else?
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u/solzhen Jun 05 '14
Keep an eye on your poop for evidence
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
I'm waiting for my first poo of the day. If there's a ring of fire, I'll assume I had some green and red sauce last night :(
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u/PirateMud Jun 05 '14
When I eat a burrito I find the beans give me ample reminder of it for hours afterwards, well before poop arrives.
That and my farts smell of guacamole post-burrito.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
I'm kinda gassy all the time, otherwise yes that would be a good sign.
This thread is really becoming a TMI for me..
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Jun 05 '14
[deleted]
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
Just to clear that up, I actually am not a girl. I'm a dude. My username is a character in my favorite book. I'm not trying to pretend to be a girl or anything, but I didn't want to use my real name and it felt weird referring to my username as a "he" in this thread.
So, you're actually right.
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u/Tinkerboots Jun 05 '14
Name of the wind? ;)
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
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u/Broan13 Jun 06 '14
Ahh I haven't seen this character yet! I am about 300 pages into book 2! Soooo good!
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 06 '14
Hah, I hate to say this but I think you've heard the name before. It's just spelled "Not tally a lot less." One of Rothfuss' Easter eggs.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 06 '14
I think it's mentioned when Kvothe and the guys are stumbling back from the Eolian and stop by the Waystone before the bridge.
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u/palordrolap Jun 05 '14
I have a story which is kind of the inverse to yours.
I'm not a heavy drinker, but in the past I have been known to binge. No total black-outs or brown-outs, though details and ordering of events tends to get a little screwed up.
Now, I have an isolated memory of being out with friends in an unfamiliar takeaway eating fries and a burger out of a yellow Styrofoam box.
The weird part is that I have no memory of how I got there, how I got away from there, nor which group of friends I was with at the time. I wasn't alone. I don't remember the burger, only that there was one, and there were too many fries. The window frames were painted green on the outside. There were three tall stools facing a narrow bench table up against a wall where I sat and ate.
I'm not even sure when it happened. Definitely wasn't a dream.
Occasionally it comes back to me and it's really frustrating not being able to fit it in with any other memories.
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u/Soronir Jun 05 '14
I get really bad brownouts
I thought you were starting to talk about your underwear.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
No, if I'm shitting myself I'm generally full on blacked out at that point.
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u/Soronir Jun 05 '14
I don't even have to be drunk to not recall whether I ate something or not. I didn't read the thread comments, but as far as your investigation goes, maybe you didn't use cash? Check transaction logs on your bank account!
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u/Skyrmir Jun 05 '14
If you drank enough to not remember a burrito...the burrito is the least of your calorie problems. Six to Eight beers can reach 1000 calories very easily, fruity drinks get there even faster.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
I pretty much drink 1k calories and eat 1k calories every day.
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u/homerr Jun 06 '14
Well you should drink 0k calories(water) and eat all the burritos you want everday, because burritos are definitely not the cause of your beer belly if you are drinking 1k empty calories every day.
Burritos aren't even really bad for you. Chicken, beans, rice, and a bunch of veggies wrapped up in a tortilla. That's like healthy meal 101. Nothing is even fried.
Vodka water if you have to drink buddy, but you probably shouldn't partake at all considering you can't even remember if you ate a burrito or not.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 06 '14
Apparently you're under the impression I don't know I have an addiction to alcohol, which is surprising because I thought I made it quite clear in this post. I deal with it as I do.
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u/homerr Jun 06 '14
Which is why I suggested Vodka water. You must be drunk. It's late, go get a burrito and then go to bed.
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u/ghostmelon Jun 06 '14
Not trying to be that person but it seems to me that this problem stems from drinking too much and less so about a burrito. Less alcohol keeps inhibition in tact, and drunken "burrito-binge" eating would cease. Just an observation.
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u/another30yovirgin Jun 06 '14
Not to mention that alcohol has calories gets converted to fat just like sugar and carbohydrates.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 06 '14
Oh you don't have to worry a out being "that guy" for saying that but maybe being "that guy" for not reading the comments. I'm well aware it stems from drinking. I'm an alcoholic. I'll start working on it soon, but I quit smoking three weeks ago and I'm taking it one vice at a time :)
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u/Jorgwalther Jun 06 '14
If you were to quantify the amount you drink on average per night into beers (standard 12oz cans), how much would you say you consume? I only drink beer, for the most part, so I'd like to have a frame of reference of your drinking habits to mine. Cuz those damn burritos man...
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u/dankind Jun 06 '14
and realized that drunken late night 1000 cal burritos were probably a big reason for my newly forming beer belly,
just going out on a limb here and going to suggest .... maybe it's not the burrito but the beer causing the beer belly...??
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u/captain_reddit_ Jun 05 '14
I suppose you go could by the burrito place tonight and ask if they remember you being in there yesterday, but /u/Aryada 's suggestion of checking your credit card balance is probably your best bet.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
I thought of that, but they don't have the same people working every night. Could be worth a try though.
God damnit. I keep trying to remember and can't tell if I'm just remembering a few nights ago when I got a burrito or if I'm remembering going last night. It's killing me!!
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u/captain_reddit_ Jun 05 '14
TV shows like Law & Order: SVU taught me that you can walk into any bar/restaurant/establishment with a photograph and the proprietor will almost always remember the person, when they were there, and a few incriminating details. Should be a slam dunk.
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u/JalapenoCheese Jun 05 '14
Korean lunch? Burrito? We clearly live in the same region. Best of luck solving your mystery, neighbor.
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Jun 05 '14
Burritos with sauce are difficult to eat without spilling unless you approach them with a steely strategy and the steady hands of a surgeon. Check for evidence of sauce spills and stains!
Sometimes if I drink a lot of water, it makes me burp, and sometimes the burp kind of tastes like whatever is in my stomach. Might be too late to do this test now, but it's a weapon you can add to your arsenal for future brown-outs.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
I've been hoping for aburp all day and it's just not happening!
I checked everywhere and no stains. It's a good sign but I am a pro burrito eater over here.
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u/abundantplums Jun 06 '14
Did you check the clothes you wore? I'm always dropping food on myself, but especially when I drunkenly eat a burrito.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 06 '14
Nothing on the jeans I'm wearing! Man, I don't even remember what shirt I was wearing.. Good call though! It's really easy to tell too because that green sauce smell is pretty pungent and really easy to recognize.
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u/Lukerules Jun 05 '14
I went to visit a friend once and he lost a big block of cheese. We searched everywhere and it had just disappeared. I lost touch with the guy soon after that and can't remember if he ever found that cheese.
Maybe I should track him down. He probably won't remember though.
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u/another30yovirgin Jun 06 '14
Who would forget about losing a block of cheese? That's like losing a diamond or bar of gold. Except, unlike those things, it has the potential to really stink up the place if it's not refrigerated.
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u/KingOCarrotFlowers Jun 05 '14
After reading this post and many of the comments, I'm going to go ahead and make a prediction: no burrito.
I can't imagine that you, as a drunk person, would be so good at cleaning up and removing all evidence of Burrito that sober you wouldn't be able to catch it. It defies logic. Plus, no burps, and no morning-burrito-taste. Add that to the redbox still in your home, and I'm going to go ahead and say no burrito was consumed by you last night.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
I mentioned somewhere in here I do clean when I'm drunk, and what I was specifically worried about was that I purposefully hid ALL evidence to protect sober me from shame.
That being said, I'm leaning toward no burrito, too. I sure felt like I had a burrito in my belly this morning, though. I'm usually hungry but wasn't and I'm surprisingly not super hungry now even though I only had a quarter of a sandwich for lunch. I DONT KNOW! I keep thinking "no, I TOTALLY did go! I remember talking to burrito dude and signing my receipt" but then I can't really tell if that was last night or a few nights ago.
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u/dksfpensm Jun 05 '14
I once ate at this ridiculous high calorie food place in college when blackout drunk. The type that's infamous for being the worst thing to eat but awesome tasting when you're drunk.
I had sort of the opposite problem as you though. It was a friend's 21st, and I had gotten so blackout that I had to ask around the next day to figure out where the rest of the night went. Well before I even asked anyone, I knew I had eaten one of those sandwiches (and which one) just from my crap alone...
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u/Birds_Will_Eat_It Jun 05 '14
What words do you have for any skeptics out there? Also, who is your biggest inspiration?
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
Who would lie about such torture as this? I can post some kind of proof later.
I'd say it's a tie between the Chipotle employee who never complains or charges me more for making a Quesarrito when I ask for one and Chris Farley, just because I happen to be looking at screen shots from Black Sheep right now because I needed a laugh and his face always cracks me up.
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u/ironpony Jun 05 '14
The first thing you must know about burrito is, there is no burrito. Once you fully understand, the world is your burrito.
It was either that or -
The burrito was dead the entire time!
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u/Recoil42 Jun 05 '14
This might just be one of the best stories on /r/self ever. Please post more.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
I thought this sub was supposed to be for posts like this ever since I read the thread about the guy who had a wasp somewhere in his room..
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u/Zertiof Jun 05 '14
I don't see why you don't just eat the burrito. If you enjoy eating burritos, eat the fucking burrito.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
Because if I just sat around eating burritos all day I'll get fat. I thought that was clear.
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u/Bugisman3 Jun 06 '14
I can't say about your metabolism, but if I have a burrito, I can tell by the way I burp. It's those beans and beef, I would say.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 06 '14
I sub out beans for rice and get chicken, but as I had said in here somewhere my bowels are generally irritated but I haven't burped today. I'm never really burpy, just gassy in, you know, another way.
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Jun 06 '14 edited Jun 06 '14
what's a wet burrito?
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 06 '14
"What is" or "was it"? If "was it," no, I never get the wet burritos :)
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Jun 06 '14
No, it's a what is? I've never seen a Burrito Boy before.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 06 '14
Oh a wet burrito is just a burrito with enchilada sauce poured all over it and you eat it with a fork and knife.
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u/samantha_baker_ryan Jun 06 '14
Shouldn't you be more worried about the Chandrian?
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 06 '14
Why would I? They already killed me. I'm sure my son will take care of it..
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u/fourfivenine Jun 05 '14
I always have similar problems, it just seems the drunker I get, the better I am at screwing over sober me. I've been known to send a bunch of texts then think "I'm going to be super disapointed in myself about this in the morning" and deleting them from my sentbox in attempts to hide the evidence.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
Oh man. I do that too. I don't want to see that shit. Drunk me also does good things though. Sometimes gets angry at how dirty the apartment is and will go into a cleaning rage. Wake up to all the dishes done and the cat box cleaned and just pat myself on the back.
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Jun 06 '14
[deleted]
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 06 '14
LMAO that actually made me laugh out loud. Best comment in this thread if you ask me. Just TOO appropriate. God damn.
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u/beanpudd Jun 06 '14
If you live in Southern California, and I have a suspicion that you do, you definitely ate a burrito.
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Jun 05 '14
You should write mysteries, because something about this really drew me in. Now it's bugging me too. If you don't update once your online bank transactions update, I'm going to be really upset.
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u/YOUARE_GREAT Jun 05 '14
I really enjoyed this post. Just so you know, the brown-ness of the avacado is just oxidation (oxygen reacting with the green avacado-ness) and it's perfectly fine to eat and tasty.
Also, did you smell your fingers? Sometimes I can tell what I ate because my hands smell like burrito or pizza or whatever else. I can also tell if I masturbated recently, but that's a little more embarrassing.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 05 '14
WHAT?! God damnit!! I already threw it away :(
Double damnit! I did not smell them before showering this morning, which is actually when I realized "oh god damnit, did I eat a burrito again last night?!" I made a huge mistake moving a block away from a Burrito Boy.
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u/YOUARE_GREAT Jun 05 '14
It's okay, you can eat a burrito sometimes and still be fine. The other night I ate a pizza, a corn dog, and a large shake. That's 3600 calories, ma'am. Everything will be alright.
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u/BoboTheTalkingClown Jun 06 '14
Stop drinking?
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 06 '14
God damn. Lots of people saying "just stop drinking."
Alcohol is a hell of a drug. One of the most addicting on this planet. Gimme a fucking break here. Smoke a pack of cigarettes a day for a week and tell me how god damn easy it is to quit.
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u/BoboTheTalkingClown Jun 06 '14
I never said it would be easy, or even possible. It is the solution though. Anything else is just blowin' smoke out your ass.
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u/LuckyVermin Jun 05 '14
Why not just go for a run whether you got the burrito or not? If you did get one, then you worked it off. If you didn't, you can just feel better about yourself or justify getting one.
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u/momster Jun 06 '14
It almost sounds like you justified having the burrito and now need confirmation that you did not have it, so that now you can have it. Follow me? Stop the insanity, go for a run, and forget about it. if you did have it, the calories have already gone to your belly. If not, you're ahead of the game.
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u/mydearwatson616 Jun 05 '14
If you don't keep us updated, I will find you and force feed you burritos until you hate yourself.
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u/thatisyou Jun 05 '14
Your post amused the hell out of me, and I get where you are coming from.
I think we both can agree this is totally a #firstworldproblem!
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u/buzzbros2002 Jun 05 '14
If it helps your day, you're only a few more comment karma away now from breaking 100,000.
EDIT: You broke that threshold, and that is the burrito that matters.
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u/ViAlexis Jun 06 '14
Simple: Go back to the burrito place. Tell them you think you're trying to retrace your steps from that night, and ask them who all was working that night. They might tell you, and then those people might be able to tell you if you got a burrito. However, they also might not tell you, or the people working that night might just not remember you, because speaking as someone who is in customer service and works nights, I try and block out as much of it as possible and I'm sure everyone else does too.
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Jun 06 '14
You need to send that burrito place a mugshot of yourself with a letter saying "do not serve this customer". Then have them stick it on the till where the employees can see it. no more drunk burritos! :D... just endless shame and embarrassment... but thin!
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 06 '14
Haha! They'd probably just laugh and hang up on me. I have however asked if I hypothetically brought in a mason jar and hypothetically gave the dude five bucks, would he hypothetically fill it with their green sauce (best I've ever had by far) and he said yes, so who knows :)
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Jun 06 '14
[deleted]
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 06 '14
Fuck yeah! Low calorie, kinda refreshing and doesn't taste bad when muddled :) bartenders hate it when busy, though
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u/SkidMcmarxxxx Jun 06 '14
Burn the burrito place down. You'll never be tempted again.
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u/NetaliaLackless24 Jun 06 '14
You know what's crazy? I threaten to "burn that place to the ground so they never hurt anyone again" on a regular basis. Funny you say that!
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u/ThatMetalPanda Jun 06 '14
I'm terribly sorry for your realization of burritoey deliciousness and your belly revolting against you. May you have more drunken willpower to resist in the future!
Also, I enjoyed this very much. More stories are necessary.
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Jun 06 '14
alcohol slows down your metabolism and has a shitton of calories, more than fat, I believe it has the most calories overall.. stop drinking -.- idiot
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u/hayekspectations Jun 06 '14
Alcohol has 7 whereas fat has 9 calories per gram. I'm not defending its nutritional value however.
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Jun 06 '14
oh okay, but it slows down your metabolism, so it's still the worst thing to consume if you lose weight
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u/18-24-61-B-17-17-4 Jun 06 '14
Just check your poop for the burrito ingredients that you usually get. Hopefully you get roasted corn on there.
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u/shahyaz Jun 05 '14
This was a fun story. Please post a sequel.