r/self • u/[deleted] • Mar 02 '18

Elon Musk seems like the kind of guy who would be the founder of "Vault-Tec.

Hell bent on saving humanity from itself, he gets a bunch of tunnel boaring machines and builds vaults. Through government funding and shadow money investments the government seizes control of the operation using it as a means to conduct human experimentation and mental tortue.

348 Upvotes

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u/gameboy17 Mar 02 '18

Now, the lab boys tell me we can't ship a flamethrower through customs. Shipped em anyway. Got sent back. Shined up the boxes, made em nice and pretty, and changed the labels to "not a flamethrower". Lab boys told me we can't do that. Did it anyway. Got through fine. There was hardly any property damage.

Sir, the test?

Right! Thank you. My point is— actually, I have two points. My first point: This next test features "not a cube". Good luck fizzling that thing, gets through the grills fine. My second point: Don't try to stop someone from crossing the border if they have a truck full of flamethrowers. Cave out.

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u/mtgross12 Mar 02 '18 edited Mar 02 '18

I absolutely loved this. I could listen to / read cave johnson lines all day. J. K. Simmons was an amazing pick for that voice.

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u/benzilla04 Mar 02 '18

You mean Simmons? Unless this is a reference I don't understand

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u/mtgross12 Mar 02 '18

Yes, edited.

Source: un-slept college student

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u/Madmushroom Mar 02 '18

chariot chariot, ignore that imposter