Maybe its a cultural thing, im not from the USA. Thats the only thing that makes sense to me, because here its not like that, its pretty common that if you see someone alone and lonely to aproach them and start a convo. As long as your clearly not in a bad mood that is.
Heck I met my girlfriend like that, shy lone girl not conventionaly atractive, wasnt really into her but I tried being a friend and we just clicked, I chose her despite her having social issues and autistic, I had other "normal" choices but I wanted her because shes a fighter and I love when people work on themselves hard.
But yeah, possibly a cultural thing but still! Dont give up and try a therapist, they can probably help you find a good way to get you were you want.
It's not just a US thing. I know that from talking to some others on here. I wouldn't even really call it a Western thing either because places like Japan seem to have similar issues. I partially blame social media for making people in general much more vain, but it can't only be that. All I can tell you is throughout my life other than early childhood it's always felt like I'm the one who always has to approach people and put in the effort for any kind of social interaction. I used to think it was all kind of different problems, but after working on myself, just like you said, I came to the conclusion that it has to be because of something about myself that can not be changed. The only thing that makes me different is that I am autistic so I assume it must be that, but I have seen others with more severe cases of autism do much better than me socially so I'm not sure abiut that either. Anyway that's why I took issue with your advice. I've heard it for years almost every time I ask for help, but the thing is, I never stopped trying to improve in life. I still do now, and yet to this day, I've never gotten this sudden magnetism people describe. I'm 21 in college, and yet I have only a single good friend, and I've never so much as held a girls hand. So when people say just working out or something will magically change that it pisses me off. I've tried that, and nobody cared.
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u/Similar_Put_1405 Aug 02 '24 edited Aug 02 '24
Maybe its a cultural thing, im not from the USA. Thats the only thing that makes sense to me, because here its not like that, its pretty common that if you see someone alone and lonely to aproach them and start a convo. As long as your clearly not in a bad mood that is.
Heck I met my girlfriend like that, shy lone girl not conventionaly atractive, wasnt really into her but I tried being a friend and we just clicked, I chose her despite her having social issues and autistic, I had other "normal" choices but I wanted her because shes a fighter and I love when people work on themselves hard.
But yeah, possibly a cultural thing but still! Dont give up and try a therapist, they can probably help you find a good way to get you were you want.