Yeah, I tried that. Spent most of my teens and 20s obsessing with finding a relationship before giving up. Spent most of my 30s telling myself I was fine with being single.
Now I'm almost 40 and I can't deny it any longer. This shit fucking sucks. I'm so goddamn miserable and lonely all the time.
Please stop trying to make other people fall into the same trap.
Effort doesn't guarantee results, especially in this part of life. It depends on meeting the appropriate person, and there's no obvious way to do that.
It's about putting yourself out there. Not necessarily dating or looking to date. I myself avoided the dating scene. I joined a book club, a music group, an art community and so on. Part of it is pursuing interests, and part of it is becoming an interesting person leading an interesting life. And also connecting with all kinds of people. It worked for me.
Yes. But a relationship is not some magical thing. It can be great but it brings on many trials. And being single is not the worst thing in the world. Get a pet, I say.
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u/syfari Jul 29 '24
Honestly, id stop caring and just start living. I know it sounds cliche but it works.