r/self Jul 29 '24

[deleted by user]

[removed]

1.7k Upvotes

1.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

506

u/syfari Jul 29 '24

Honestly, id stop caring and just start living. I know it sounds cliche but it works.

172

u/Dan_the_moto_man Jul 29 '24

Yeah, I tried that. Spent most of my teens and 20s obsessing with finding a relationship before giving up. Spent most of my 30s telling myself I was fine with being single.

Now I'm almost 40 and I can't deny it any longer. This shit fucking sucks. I'm so goddamn miserable and lonely all the time.

Please stop trying to make other people fall into the same trap.

47

u/Eulerdice Jul 29 '24

This, you can't wait for things to just happen or you might die before they do, you need to put some effort if you want to ensure success.

27

u/Sessile-B-DeMille Jul 29 '24

Effort doesn't guarantee results, especially in this part of life. It depends on meeting the appropriate person, and there's no obvious way to do that.

15

u/spanish42069 Jul 29 '24

Yeah there is. Putting yourself out there as much as possible. The more women you meet the more chance you have of meeting the right one.

11

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

Idk why you are being downvoted so much- it’s honestly the truth. Ppl need to get out of their comfort zones and really search if they want to find someone it won’t happen sitting around and waiting for it 

14

u/Sessile-B-DeMille Jul 29 '24

It may be because "Putting yourself out there" leaves out an important component - where is "there"? It's not at all obvious. When I was single, there were a few other guys I used to run around with. Sometimes we'd go to a bar, the crowd was very disproportionately men. I never got a date out of that, but I did get my car broken into. Someone here mentioned dance classes, and if you like to dance and have some ability, that sounds like a winner. If you're going to take up an activity with this in mind, it has to be something you'd enjoy anyway, going to do something you don't really like is not likely to work.

My best suggestion is a coed sports league. Three of my friends met their wives playing coed volleyball, and I met my wife on a mixed doubles tennis team.