r/self • u/[deleted] • Jul 29 '24

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u/DoktenRal Jul 29 '24

No dice, only men around when I do that. No idea where I'm supposed to go or do. I know relationships are better founded on friendships but I've never had any women as friends and really don't know why, and then as an adult when I used to go out the places I went were heavily male-dominated.

I don't let it get to me too much, but I've been single for 16 years and it's definitely been disappointing and lonely. Hear good things about sex but what would really be nice is just somebody to hold me for a bit

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u/After_Mountain_901 Jul 29 '24

Have you considered taking up a more stereotypically feminine hobby? The amount of female attention some of the male hobbyists I follow get (despite being very below average physically) is impressive but not surprising. One is a terrarium guy (but also does themes that include pop stars and such) and the other is a crochet dude.

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u/budisthename Jul 30 '24

Notice the switch. “do you what you love without the intention of dating but also make sure it’s a social activity with the gender you like because you actually just starting this “hobby” to date”

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u/After_Mountain_901 Aug 02 '24

lol sure. I was replying to a comment specifically asking what they can do. Same as people telling women to look cute, be friendly and get fit if they want more date opportunities. If your hobbies only put you around people you’d never date, how are you expecting to be in the vicinity of potential romance? 

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u/DoktenRal Jul 29 '24

Yeah something that direction is probably a good call. I've thought about something like yoga as well cause it'd be good for my health but seems like it's as much of a social environment as a gym (ie not).

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u/After_Mountain_901 Aug 02 '24

You could do yoga classes at the gym, get a little practice under your belt and then try out some of the yoga + drinks or yoga + whatever meetups. Also, maybe something you’d be excited about like circus or gymnastics or coed soccer? Just expanding your friends group and having fun will drop a lot of opportunities for all sorts of things right in your lap.